Page 43 of Overtime Goal (Buffalo Warriors Hockey #4)

My stomach clenched, and he kept going. “With Dad, it was always physical, but she used words. She gave me emotional beatings every day, sometimes all day. One of her favorite things to say was, ‘I never wanted a baby to start with, and you’re even worse than I thought you’d be. You’re a curse.’”

The words hit me like a punch to the chest. “Jesus Christ.” It came out louder than I meant and made me wince. I let his hand go and reached for his face, cupping his cheeks with shaking fingers. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. I’m just… fuck, Ade.”

He leaned into my touch, eerily calm. “It’s okay. I’d be upset if you told me that about you.”

“You shouldn’t have had to deal with it,” I whispered. “Physical or emotional abuse. You didn’t deserve it.”

He gave me a small smile, but it didn’t touch his eyes.

“You’re right, I didn’t. It fucked me up.

I never knew what would set them off. I think they were always mad about something else, and I was a convenient target.

” He looked away, and when he continued, his voice was rough.

“Dad would take off his belt and beat me so hard I couldn’t sit right for days.

Bruises, cuts… I hated going into the locker room.

I was ashamed, but at least nobody said anything. ”

“Not even your coaches?”

“I don’t think they ever saw. They weren’t around when we changed, and none of them came into the showers.”

I opened my mouth, then caught myself before asking why he hadn’t told someone and asked for help. Holy Jesus, who was I? That would have been a terrible form of victim blaming, so I took a breath and said, “You’re even stronger than I thought you were. Much stronger.”

He looked down, and I barely heard him say, “Thank God I had hockey. It was something I could lose myself in, and since I was good at it, I kept going. My folks encouraged me, but they never came to games. They were just glad it got me out of the house.”

I shifted closer and draped an arm over him, but it wasn’t enough. My insides ached, and I would’ve killed for the chance to go back in time and protect him.

“How’d you get to practice?” I asked. “Or camps? My mom always said she had to quit her job to be my full-time chauffeur.”

“They drove me when they had to.” He snuggled so close there was no space between us.

“I usually depended on my friends’ parents.

I was valuable to the team, so everyone wanted me there.

And some of them knew. Not everything, but I think they sensed something wasn’t right.

They helped how they could, and I got invited to a lot of sleepovers.

When I was older, if things were terrible at home, I’d make up an excuse to stay with someone for a few days. ”

“Your folks didn’t mind?”

He gave a bitter laugh with no humor in it at all. “Have you been listening? They were thrilled to have me out of the house.”

“I’m listening. Trying to wrap my head around it. I love you so much, and this is terrible to hear.”

His voice almost sounded frightened. “Do you want me to stop?”

“No. I want to know everything you feel like sharing.”

He nodded. “Things got worse as I went along. That’s why I decided to play in juniors instead of holding out for college. When the Paladins offered me a spot, I jumped at it. Oshawa’s a long way from Delaware.”

“Sounds like it saved your life.”

“Maybe literally.” He glanced at the sky. “I went home the first summer, which was the worst decision of my life. They weren’t used to having me around anymore, so they were meaner than ever. Mom was horrible, and Dad stopped using the belt. It was too much trouble, so he switched to his fists.”

My stomach turned, and for a horrible second, I thought I was about to vomit.

Riles continued. “I went swimming with one of my old teammates, not realizing I had fresh bruises on my back. Scott saw them and told me to stay at his house that night. The next morning, his parents invited me to live with them for the rest of the summer. I went home to pick up my stuff and never looked back.”

“Thank God they asked.” I forced the words past an enormous lump in my throat. “Not that… I mean, not that it was good to have to?—”

“I know what you mean.”

We were quiet for so long, I thought maybe he was done. Then he said, “Scott’s parents called CPS because I was sixteen. Dad denied everything, but Mom got scared and told them about the beatings. They arrested him, and he had a heart attack and died in prison about a year later.”

I was almost afraid to ask, “What about your mom?”

“She died in a car crash not long after Dad. It was during the season, so I was in Oshawa.”

A powerful tremor shook Riles before he spoke again.

“I remember when my billet mother told me about Mom. The first thought I had was being glad that terrible part of my life was over.” His voice cracked.

“I wasn’t happy they’d died, but I was relieved I’d never have to see them again.

Or flinch when the phone rang, which it only did when they wanted to yell at me even though I wasn’t at home.

I was free, but I felt guilty for being relieved. I still don’t know what that makes me.”

A muffled sob caught hard in his chest. I tried to comfort him even though I knew nothing could fix what had happened.

“It makes you human,” I said. “You were a kid, Ade. It was their job to protect you. You survived something horrible, and you still turned into the best damn man I’ve ever known. They missed their chance to be prouder than they ever dreamed of. That’s tragic, but it’s on them.”

He leaned against me, breathing deeply. “You know that old line, ‘Life’s hard and then you die’?”

I didn’t have it in me to laugh. “I’ve heard it.”

“Well, fuck that. I decided a while ago not to let it be my story. Life might be hard sometimes, but I’m going to live the hell out of it.

” He sat up and faced me. His eyes were wet, but he looked as determined as I’d ever seen anyone.

“Now that we’re together, I know I’ll be okay.

You make me feel like I can have everything.

With how I grew up, I didn’t think that was possible. ”

Emotion surged within me, too big to hold back, and I kissed him as tears ran down my cheeks.

Riles wasn’t quite twenty-four, so the abuse wasn’t ancient history for him.

“We’re going to build the best life,” I whispered against his mouth.

“And I’ll spend mine doing everything I can to make you happy. ”

“I will too,” he said. “You’ve changed so many things for me from the day we met. I don’t know where I’d be if we hadn’t become friends. You feel like home.”

“I love you so damn much, Ade.”

“I love you too, and that’s why I’ve made a decision.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

He looked into my eyes. “You’re the most important person in my life, and I want to be the best version of myself. We both deserve that. I want our life to be amazing, not despite where I came from, but because I dealt with it. So, when we get home, I’m going to find a therapist.”

My heart leapt. “That’s wonderful, babe.”

He nodded. “I’ve thought about it before, and now I actually want to do it. I need help making sense of everything, and like I said, I want us to have the best life possible. That starts with me being okay in my head.”

I smiled as I traced a finger across his lips. “I’m already proud of you, and this only makes me love you more. It’s a big step, and I’ll be with you every inch of the way. Do you have someone in mind?”

“Maybe. Remember when we went to Harpy and Luca’s last fall? Luca talked about how much his therapist had helped him. He said she’s incredible.”

“I remember.”

“I’ll ask him for her details. If she doesn’t have room for another patient, maybe she can recommend someone.”

“I’ll help in any way I can, including keeping my mouth shut when that’s what you need. Just let me know.”

He nodded, his eyes glistening again. “Thank you. And I know I keep saying it, but I love you, Logan. I’m so glad I came to my senses, because you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

I pulled him in for a hug. “Say it as much as you want because I’ll never get tired of hearing it. And I love you too.”

We clung to each other beneath the stars. Eventually, he leaned back, wiped his eyes, and gave me a crooked smile. “Why don’t we finish that wine and head to bed?”

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “I need you inside me all night long.”