Page 7 of Overdue Feelings
I didn’t mean to end up in front of my childhood home.
I was just supposed to be going for my nightly run.
I didn’t even realize where my feet were taking me until I saw the house; the one my grandfather had bought decades ago; the one we’d lived in long after his death.
My feet slowed, and I came to a stop right in front of the walkway of my childhood home.
I stared at it, and my heart grew heavy as I took in the condition.
It was obvious that nobody had lived here in years.
My father had sold it after we’d moved. I never knew to who.
I just always assumed it would be taken care of.
As I sat here looking at it, it was clear that it hadn’t been.
The porch was damn near falling in. The gutters were hanging on for dear life, the paint was peeling, and weeds had claimed the entire yard.
Still, despite all the ugliness, the memories lived. I stood there with my hands in my pockets, staring through time, remembering how Zae, Creek, and I used to play school on the front porch and ride our bikes down the hill. A simpler time, before responsibilities and success consumed me.
I moved through the front yard and took in the entire neighborhood.
There was once so much love here. Dinners at Gigi’s or Zae’s could fix damn near anything.
I should have stopped walking, but my feet kept moving me forward until I was making my way up those worn stairs and through what was left of the front door.
“Damn.” I spoke out loud as the thick, dusty air met me. The boards on the windows were barely allowing any light to shine inside. I grabbed my cellphone and turned on the flashlight to brighten the space.
“There you are,” I said, taking in the front room.
It was empty, but the walls still held the same shade of muted green.
I walked deeper, running my hand along the wall where my growth marks used to be, and a lump rose in my throat.
I hated to see it like this. This place had waited for someone to come back and see it.
For someone to give a damn, and the messed up part was that no one who was supposed to care had cared for years.
Quickly, I turned to leave, making a beeline for the front door.
I’d seen enough, and I could barely stomach the sight of the house that held all good memories looking the way it did now.
I pulled the broken screen door shut behind me just as the sound of laughter drifted through the air.
I didn’t need to look up to know who it belonged to. That laughter was echoed in my memory.
Still, I glanced up, and there they were.
Creek and Zae, walking Gigi up her steps.
She was leaning against Creek’s arm, laughing like she hadn’t survived two strokes.
I kept moving. Didn’t speed up. Didn’t slow down.
Just crossed the front lawn without looking back.
Both Creek and Zae had made it clear they weren’t interested in patching up what we used to have.
And truth be told, I couldn’t blame them.
I glanced slightly at Gigi. She looked really good for someone her age.
Despite a few more gray hairs and a slightly slimmer frame, she was exactly like she had been twelve years ago.
“Well, I’ll be… Louicius?” Gigi’s voice cut through the air. “Boy, come on over here. Don’t make me come and get you.”
I stopped in my tracks. That name. She wasn’t wrong, not completely.
I was starting to look more like him every day.
I turned around slowly and was met with Creek’s eyes already on me.
She was unreadable. I glanced over at Zae, and his jaw flexed like he was biting back all the shit he wanted to say.
I brought my attention back to Gigi. She was grinning with her good hand waving me over like I was welcome.
“Come on over here, baby, let me see you,” she said. “You know better than to walk past me like I ain’t raised you.”
My feet moved before I could think twice, and all of a sudden, I was eleven-years-old again running across the street at the sound of Gigi’s voice.
“Louicius, I can’t believe it’s you,” Gigi said as I approached the sidewalk.
“Grandma forgets,” Creek said, looking at me and then back at Gigi. “This is Ares. Louicius is his daddy.”
“Hush, girl, I only forget little things,” she said, patting my cheek with a wrinkled hand. “I know who this is. I know them Knight eyes anywhere.”
Her touch grounded me. It reminded me of my grandmothers’ touch and made me feel like somebody’s grandchild again.
“I ain’t expect to see you here,” Zae said. It was the most words he’d said to me since day one of my arrival. I looked between the two of them.
“Didn’t expect to be here either,” I admitted. “Ms. Eddie mentioned my grandma’s old house at dinner, so I figured I’d walk by and see what shape it was in.”
“You’re staying over at the Harvest Rose?” Creek asked. Her tone was polite but guarded.
“Yeah, first place I saw when I popped back up.”
“Your grandmother loved that house,” Gigi said softly, her eyes glanced across the street like she’d hated what it had become too.
“Yeah,” I murmured, my gaze following hers. “She really did. I hate seeing it like that.”
“Me too,” Zae added, rubbing the back of his neck. “I tried to keep the yard up when I could, but this year… it got ahead of me.”
“I get it,” I said, nodding. “Y’all know who’s been in it last?”
Zae looked over at me, then back at Creek. “Far as I know, nobody. Your parents were the last ones in that house.”
“Seriously? I thought my dad sold it.”
“If he did,” Creek said carefully, “whoever bought it never moved in.”
Gigi stepped forward, her gaze sweeping the street like she was remembering something. Then her eyes swept over Zae, Creek, and then me.
“You know,” she started slowly, and I knew she was about to drop one on those famous Gigi lectures, “when you stop tending to things… don’t water them, don’t visit, don’t care for them, they’ll start falling apart.”
I stared at her, trying to gauge if she was talking about the house or my friendship with Creek and Zae.
“I think I needed to hear that, Gigi.”
“Well, good. This old girl still has a few gems left.”
“And do.” I stood there for a second, just soaking it all in, my eyes bouncing between the two people I used to call my best friends.
“Well,” Creek said, “we gotta get her inside.”
“Oh y-yeah… um…” I stumbled over my words. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“You didn’t interrupt a thing, dear,” Gigi said. “You’re welcome anytime. You’re family.” She pulled me into a hug before pulling back and giving me one last knowing look.
“Don’t be a stranger, baby. It’s never too late to tend to the things you love… or the ones you left behind.” She started up the last step with Creek holding her hand and Zae shadowing behind them. Creek glanced back at me. Her eyes met mine just long enough to see that she still cared.
“Be safe,” Zae threw over his shoulder as I watched them disappear inside the door. With that, the block was quiet again, and I walked back across the street to my grandmother’s house. I went back through the front yard and sat on the only step that was still intact.
Heart heavy, I pulled out my phone and scrolled to the search engine. I typed in the county assessor’s office, and when the number popped up, I wasted no time pressing call.
It rang twice before I got the voicemail message.
“You’ve reached the Harvest Hills County Assessor’s Office. Our normal business hours are Monday through Friday, 8 AM to 4 PM.”
I pressed one, cutting off the message.
“Transferring you to the voicemail.” I waited for the beep. When it sounded, I took a deep breath before leaving a message.
“Uh, yeah… This is Ares Knight. I wanted to inquire about the deed transfer process for my grandmother’s property: 2568 South Greenway.
She passed over thirteen years ago, and I’m back in town now.
You can call me back at 555-0147. Thanks.
” I ended the call, set the phone on my lap, and just sat there. I turned to the house.
“I’ll take it from here, Grandma,” I said out loud in hopes that she was listening.
I was going to do everything in my power to get my grandmother’s house and restore its condition.
I could already see it. New windows, gutters, a fixed porch, and a fresh coat of paint.
I exhaled, long and low. The longer I was here, the more it was coming clear to me why the universe had sent me back.