Page 5 of Overdue Feelings

The first week of school always felt like I’d stepped onto a treadmill that was going fifteen miles per hour, but add to it the man who ghosted me twelve years ago sharing my space, and I was officially spiraling.

I couldn’t remember my coffee in the morning, I was shelving books in the wrong sections, and avoiding my old storage closet like the plague.

Not to mention the way “nurse’s office” had become the official trigger word for my anxiety.

Having Ares Knight this close to me was altogether throwing off my mental state. We had barely said two words to each other, but the silence between us was loud. It was so loud, I wanted nothing more than to turn it off and make him go away.

“Miss Delaney?” The library door cracked open, and a little voice called my name, forcing me to look up to see a little first grader stumbling into the library.

“Hey, Christian, are you okay?”

“My stomach hurts really bad. I need to go to the nurse,” he whined. I set down my pen and glanced at him. His eyes were running, and all the color had drained from his face.

“Oh, poor baby. The nurse’s office is right there.” I pointed him in the direction of my back closet.

“Can you walk me, Miss Delaney?”

“Um…” I hesitated. I hadn’t gone back there.

I didn’t want to see Ares, didn’t know what to say to him.

I mean, what was I supposed to say to him?

I looked up at Christian, who was curled over, holding his stomach.

He looked so scared. Swallowing down my pride, I stood to my feet.

Christian needed me. The drama with Ares could wait.

“Of course. Come on. I’ll walk you over,” I said softly, rounding the bookshelf and grabbing his hand. “Dr. Knight will get you feeling better.”

“Is he nice?” Christian asked as we made our way through the library. I rolled my eyes. If leaving your best friend for twelve years is nice.

“The new nurse is still getting settled in. So take it easy on him.”

“I brought this,” Christian whispered seriously, holding up a brown napkin I didn’t see tucked at his side. “Just in case I throw up.”

“Good thinking.” I smiled, trying not to laugh as we made it to the nurse’s office. “We’re here.” I knocked once before pushing open the door.

“Nurse Knight… you have a little visitor,” I said, making him look up from his desk. “He’s complaining of a stomachache.” I pushed Christian inside. Ares stared at me for a second, and our eyes locked before he glanced down at Christian.

“Hey, little guy. Upset tummy, huh? Come have a seat.” He motioned Christian over to the empty bench next to his desk. Christian slid onto the bench, clutching his stomach like it was about to fall off.

“He looks a little flushed too,” I said quickly.

“I’ll take care of him,” Ares replied, and I started to back up out the door.

“Miss Delaney?” Christian called. “Can you stay?”

I sighed, my eyes bouncing between Ares and Christian. I didn’t want to stay. I wanted to be as far away from Ares Knight as soon as possible, but Christian’s puppy dog eyes were tugging at me. “Just for a second. I have a class in a few minutes.”

I walked over and took a seat on the bench next to Christian as Ares got to work checking his temperature. My heart beat loudly in my chest. Loud enough that I felt like everyone in the building could hear it.

“What’s your name, kid?” Ares asked. He should’ve been focused on Christian, but I caught him stealing lingering, regretful glances at me.

His stare made my skin heat up and sent ripples down my spine.

This was the man who took my virginity twelve years ago.

The boy who held my heart in his hands and dropped it on purpose.

Eighteen-year-old me never thought we would end up like this.

I could barely stand to breathe the same air as him, yet I wanted to know everything about what he’d been up to and why he’d come back here.

I wanted to hug him and slap him at the same time.

“Alright, lil man. It’s time for the superhero scanner. Let’s see what your power level is today.” Ares rolled the thermometer across Christian’s forehead. When the beep sounded, he glanced at the number, then nodded slowly.

“You’ve got a low-grade fever,” he said softly. “Let’s have you lie down for a bit while I call home. You like that plan?”

Christian nodded as Ares guided him gently to one of the cots behind the curtain, which he’d put up to separate the closet into two rooms. I watched as he helped Christian lie on the cot and threw a blanket over him.

Even as kids, Ares used to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders.

He was always so serious and trying to hold everything together.

It felt good seeing him make spaceship sounds and jokes with Christian.

It was good to know the world hadn’t hardened him completely.

I stood from the bench, smoothing down my leopard print skirt.

“I should get back,” I whispered just as Christian closed his eyes on the cot. There was no doubt in my mind that he was in good hands here until his parents came to pick him up.

“I’ll walk you out.” Ares stood up and rushed to the door. “Thanks for walking him down,” he said.

“Of course. That’s… my job.” We stood there for a second, the silence between us becoming more awkward by the second. “I should get back.”

He nodded, but his eyes said he wanted to follow me. Wanted to say more. He glanced at me again like he wanted to say something else. Like he wanted to address the elephant in the room, but I wasn’t ready for that. Quickly, I turned and attempted to leave.

“Creek.” His voice called behind me, and his hand gently grabbed my wrist, stopping me in place. “I… don’t know where to start. So much time has passed?—”

“Start with calling Christian’s mom. I have a class.” I cut him off and pulled away. This wasn’t the time or place to have this conversation, and maybe there’d never be a good time or place. He didn’t say anything else. He just let me go with a head nod like he’d been expecting my dismissal.

I walked out without looking back. My sneakers barely made a sound on the carpeted floor. My heart was pounding out of my chest, and my thoughts were going a mile a minute.

I made it back to my desk just as Ms. Kennedy arrived with her class lined up behind her like little ducklings. She leaned against my desk like she’d been waiting for a grown up to talk to all day.

“Please tell me you got another copy of Back to School .”

“Didn’t I tell you last week to request your books? You know how popular that book is the first week?”

“I know… I know… I come bearing sugar.” She dropped a handful of pink Starbursts onto my desk. “So, do you have it?”

I sighed. She was lucky I liked her.

“Come in and have a seat on the Alphabet rug,” I instructed the class, motioning for her to follow me. “You’re lucky I have one more copy in the back.”

“You love me.” She smirked.

“Whatever.” We made our way through the shelves toward the back of the library, passing my old storage closet. The door was now closed.

“Girl, I cannot believe you get to share space with that fine ass man all day,” she whispered, and I kept walking. “They could have stationed him in my closet.”

I rolled my eyes hard at the way she was looking at him through the window in his door.

Ares wasn’t that fine. Okay, maybe he was.

He’d always been tall, but somehow, he looked even taller now.

His scrubs hugged his chest just enough to let you know he’d been in the gym.

He wasn’t the same bird chest boy from my childhood.

He had muscles and tattoos now. The gold chain he wore around his neck let you know he was still hood.

His beard was full and juicy, and his lips still looked as soft as they felt.

“I’m not looking at that man, Nadine,” I said as I searched through the shelves for the book in question.

“I know you and Zae are locked in, but you cannot tell me that man isn’t fine. Jesus! I might have to fake a headache.” She grinned, making my eyes roll again.

“Nadine, please.” I turned and gave her a look. Ares may have been new to her, but not to me. That man wasn’t some mysterious, fine new nurse. He was a heartbreaker with dimples that had no business coming back here and making me feel things.

“What? You’re the nearly married one. Not me.”

I laughed despite myself, mostly because she didn’t know Ares and my history.

Nadine hadn’t grown up in Harvest. She’d only been teaching at Sweet Pea for two years.

She didn’t know about the trio we used to be.

She didn’t know that the fine man who had all the women here in a tizzy used to be my whole world.

“Here.” I handed her the book and smiled. I loved Nadine, but I wasn’t about to feed the school rumor mill with my business. “I better tend to these kids before someone pokes an eye out.” I headed back toward the carpet.

“Okay, thank you.” She held up the book. “Tell your fine library mate I said hi.” She giggled on her way out of the library.

“Bye, Nadine.” I shook my head before taking one last glance at Ares. How was I going to get through an entire school year sharing space with him?