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CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Gray

My Harley rumbled loudly, announcing my return, as I cruised over the bumpy path to our house. Emory had driven me to Ball Breakers, where I’d picked up my bike, still parked in the pool hall lot.

The screen door opened, and a dog shot out—a German shepherd with a sharp bark that made me swerve and nearly lay the damn bike on its side. I jerked to a stop, heart hammering.

“Again with the fucking hellhounds!” I called as Axel came out the front door.

The shepherd charged straight for me, and Axel didn’t call him off. Hell, maybe I was in worse trouble than I thought. Holden had been the one pissed at me, so why was Axel glowering like that?

I scrambled off the bike, stumbling a step when the large dog jumped at me. Paws hit my shoulders, and then his muzzle came at me.

“Ax! Don’t let it hurt me!”

Liiiiick.

A sandpapery tongue swiped my face, from jaw to temple. Foul doggy breath panted in my face, then an excited yip.

“Loki ain’t gonna hurt you,” he said. “Unless you count eating you like a popsicle.”

I pushed Loki down, taking a step back and swiping at my face, now wet with saliva. Yuck.

“Thanks for the assist,” I said dryly.

Loki bumped his head against my hand, begging for pets. His eyes were bright and excited. I stroked his silky ears.

“I guess you’re not so bad.” His tail wagged hard. “You like me, huh?”

“He likes everyone,” Axel said. “Don’t let it go to your head. Fuck knows you don’t deserve it right now.”

“What?”

“Where the fuck have you been ? You took off without a word. Just like?—”

He stopped short, eyes blazing. Shit. I’d worried him. Made him think I might run again.

“I was with Emory. He needed me.”

“You didn’t answer my texts.”

My phone had died while I was wallowing in bed with Emory, and then with all the excitement with his dad and the sheriff, I hadn’t thought about the possibility I might be missing calls and texts.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I told you I’d never leave again without talking to you first.”

Axel averted his gaze and shrugged. “I know.”

I set my helmet on my bike seat and headed up to the porch, Loki dogging my heels, tail still wagging as if my brother wasn’t showing me his soft underbelly right now.

“So believe me, then. I broke your trust once. I’m not ever gonna do that again.”

He looked at me with the wounded eyes of the fifteen-year-old I’d left behind so long ago. “You can’t disappear on me. You can’t just go silent, okay?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

I got to the top step and held out my arms.

Axel scoffed. “What the fuck is that?”

“Hug me.”

“No.”

“Fine, I’ll hug you.”

“I don’t need?—”

I threw my arms around his rigid body and squeezed until he sagged into me.

“Ugh, fine,” he mumbled. “If this is what you need to feel better.”

I clapped his back and withdrew. “It is, man. I don’t want you to doubt me. If I give you my word?—”

“I know. It’s my fucked-up issue, not yours. I just… I get a little panicky when people leave. Always have.”

I nodded, understanding all too well the way childhood wounds could haunt you years later. When the old man told me I had to leave, I was that little kid on the grass watching his life burn down all over again.

“Next time, I’ll text you.”

He scuffed his boot against the porch floorboards, a little sheepish. “Holden’s been quiet since you two argued. I think he knows he fucked up. He and Bailey are in the kitchen sorting out dinner.”

I nodded. “All right.”

“Don’t expect much,” he warned. “They’re making a trash skillet.”

I clapped my hands together. “Ooh, yum. Are there hot dog chunks? I love that shit.”

“You’re all weird,” Axel said, following me inside, Loki trotting behind him. “You’re not supposed to like poor man’s food. You eat it to survive. We don’t have to live like this anymore.”

“Speak for yourself,” Bailey said as he stirred the slop in the pan. Looked like hash browns with chunks of hot dogs— score! — bell peppers, cheese, and salsa mixed into it. “This is—” He brought two fingers to his lips and flared them open again. “—chef’s kiss perfect.”

Sugar and Taz seemed to agree, sitting by his ankles and watching him with eager anticipation. Loki trotted over to join the chow line. Bailey didn’t disappoint. He dropped a piece of hot dog for each of them. They pounced, scarfing it up.

“You’re gonna spoil them rotten,” Axel said.

“Like you don’t already?”

I pulled out a chair at the table. “Where’s Holden? I think we should talk.”

“Right here.” Holden emerged from the hallway, the faint sound of a toilet flushing following him. “I’m glad you’re back.”

He didn’t look great. The last time I’d seen Holden so drained, it had been after someone violated his personal space.

“Did someone touch you?” I asked tensely. If it turned out he’d had a run-in with some asshole…

“No, nothing like that,” he assured me.

“You look like crap.”

He pulled out a chair and sat down across from me. “Thanks. I feel like it too. The things we said earlier…”

“I fucked up at Ball Breakers,” I admitted. “I got protective of Emory and antagonized Dallas, but I didn’t stop to think how my actions would pull Axel and Bailey into the shit with me.”

Holden shook his head. “I didn’t know the whole story, and that’s my mistake. I should have asked before I jumped all over you.”

“The last thing I want to do is hurt the business.” My throat tightened. “I know it’s the only reason you asked me back?—”

“No,” he said sharply. “It was a reason I thought could lure you back. I’ve wanted you back here all along. I was just pissed, and my words came out all wrong.”

That was fair. I chewed my lip. “How big of a problem is this?”

“Not so big we can’t handle it.” Holden grimaced. “I overreacted, and I jumped to conclusions. You weren’t just out there kicking a hornet’s nest. You and Emory were defending yourselves, and I can respect that.”

“ And ,” Axel prompted him pointedly.

“And we’re brothers above all.” He tapped his wrist, where he had the tattoo. “Bro code, right? We’re running this business together, but we can’t let it tear us apart. For better or worse.”

My eyes lingered on the tattoo. “Thanks. But be straight with me. Is the business going to be okay? The bike business is trickling in. It hasn’t just taken off overnight, and I know you were counting on me to deliver.”

“You have delivered,” Holden said, eyes on mine. He sounded sincere. “It’s not an overnight process. We’re trying to grow something for the future. You’ve done your part. You did some repairs, got the word out, did good work. The rest will take time. We’ll always have debt, expenses, worries. As long as we work together, we’ll find a way.”

“And Bailey’s college funds?” I asked hesitantly.

Bailey sat a plate of steaming food in front of me. It smelled delicious, and I grabbed up a fork and took a bite, burning my mouth. Worth it.

“We’ll figure it out,” Holden said.

“I’m not going to school unless it’s a good choice for all of us,” Bailey said, setting a second plate before Holden.

“You’re going to school,” Holden said flatly. “We will figure it out. You have a chance to make a great life for yourself.”

“And what about you guys?” Bailey asked.

“We’ll be fine here. This is a good opportunity for us. But you could do so much more with your future.”

Bailey frowned, forehead creasing.

“Do you not want that?” I asked him tentatively.

Bailey hesitated, glancing sidelong at Holden. “I don’t know. I guess I never thought it was an option until you came back. I mean, the guys needed me at the auto shop.”

“I guess it’s time to think about it,” I said.

Holden shook his head. “There’s nothing to think about. Bailey deserves everything we couldn’t have.” He smiled at Bailey. “You’re gonna make us so proud, kid.”

Bailey smiled tentatively back, though he looked worried. “So, are we all good here? Are you two done butting heads and apologizing?”

Holden snorted. “I think so. Gray, is there anything else stupid I said that I need to apologize for? If so, I do. I spun out because I lost control of the situation, and I reacted badly. You’re family, and I’m sorry if I made you feel like you were anything less.”

“Thanks, man. We’re good. I just don’t want to let you guys down ever again.”

“You won’t. As long as you’re here and you’re our brother, you’re everything we need.”

“There is one more thing you could do, though,” Axel said.

I glanced up. Axel leaned back against the counter in front of the sink, ankles crossed, one hand stroking the German Shepherd’s ears. I hadn’t seen Loki before today, so I was assuming he was a recent addition to Axel’s furry foster family.

“What’s that?”

“Get the damn tattoo.” He flashed his wrist. “Don’t you think it’s time we sealed the deal already? You’re one of us. You wrote the code with us.”

“I broke the code too,” I said quietly.

“That’s one interpretation,” Holden said. “I think we all know that the old man tore us apart. Maybe you could have made different choices. We all could. We’re only human. You were a kid, and you were afraid. We forgave you for that. But you’ve got to forgive yourself.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“You need the tat,” Bailey said. “We should all have it. It’s a symbol of our trust. Of our family.”

I’d been longing for that damn tattoo since the moment I’d seen it on the underside of Holden’s wrist. It represented everything I’d lost when I left home. An emblem of the trust I didn’t deserve after leaving my brothers.

As much as I wanted to be part of their brotherhood again—wanted to honor the code—I hadn’t felt worthy. I broke the code the first time around. I couldn’t just waltz back here and expect everything to be the same.

I needed to be invited back into their trust.

“You’re all sure you want me to get it?” I asked hesitantly.

“Of course we do,” Axel said. “You’re one of us.”

My throat closed up, and I stood from the table and forced another hug on him. He took this one a little more gracefully, even patting my back once.

Then I grabbed Bailey into a bear hug that made him howl and kick and laugh.

Last of all, I turned to Holden. He looked wary. But of course, I’d never cross his boundaries intentionally.

I clapped my right hand to my chest. Over that barbed-wire heart inked into my skin to remind me of my home, my brothers, of the life I’d left behind.

I’d carried them with me all along. But now they were more than memories, more than regret. They were my brothers, my best friends, my family.

“I’m ready,” I said. “Let’s do it.”

Axel let out a whoop, and Sugar, Taz, and Loki broke into accompanying howls.

I laughed, shaking my head at the ragtag crew that was my family. I was lucky as fuck to have them. There was only one person missing. I picked up my phone and texted Emory.

Gray:

My brothers want me to get a matching bro code tattoo.

Emory:

So you made up then

Gray:

Yeah, we’re good. How about you and your fam?

Emory:

It’s baby steps, but we’re getting there

Gray:

We’re growing up and being all adult-like by handling our shit

Emory:

LOL. When are you getting that tattoo?

Gray:

Not sure yet. Want to come along when I do it?

Emory:

If I won’t be intruding

I glanced up. Axel was on the phone talking to Angel about when she could work me in. It sounded like it’d be a couple of weeks out. Bailey was scarfing his food. Holden was eating more sedately, but at least his color seemed to be improving. The thought that he’d been as upset over our argument as me—or maybe even more—went a long way to making me feel better about the whole situation.

“Do you guys mind if Emory comes when I get the tat?”

“Of course not,” Holden said. “He’s your guy.”

Bailey nodded. “Yeah, he’s cool. He can make me pancakes again.”

“He’s not your pancake servant,” I said, flicking a chunk of hot dog at him.

He dodged, and Loki lunged in for the extra treat.

“Rude!” Bailey cried.

I returned to my texts with a smile.

Gray:

My bros don’t mind. It wouldn’t be the same for me without you.

Emory:

Then I’ll be there. Love you.

Gray:

Love you too, golden boy.