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CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

Emory

Gray invited me to shower with him since we had the house to ourselves. I was happy he had because I didn’t know when we’d get another chance. I was still nervous about inviting him to my place. Could I explain away his presence if someone noticed? Maybe, but I didn’t want to test the theory.

He led me to the same bathroom on the main floor where he’d blown me before dinner.

“Holden has the only private bathroom. He took our parents’ old bedroom with the en suite. To be honest, I don’t much want to use it, even though it’s probably roomier.” He shuddered. “Seems weird.”

I chuckled. “Good thing I don’t mind being close to you.”

He leaned into the shower to turn the single knob, then sent me a grin. “Very good thing. This shower is tiny.”

There was no need to undress, given we’d come straight from bed. He stepped into the shower, and I followed, letting my gaze wander from the breadth of his shoulders to the dip in his lower back, to the tight, muscular curve of his ass and thighs.

He had more ink on his back that I hadn’t gotten a good look at before. A pair of what looked like doves perched on one shoulder blade with two names across the branch beneath: Liam and Clara Marsh. In the middle of his back, a phoenix with rainbow-colored plumage rose from the ashes. There were other tattoos that seemed more like decoration, black-and-white flowers with thorns, a vine that snaked around his ribs, the moon and a sprinkling of stars on his upper left shoulder.

Then I spotted the tattoo just above his left ass cheek and busted out laughing. “Oh my god, what is this?”

Gray turned with a soapy sponge in his hands. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“That tattoo?—”

“I’ve got so many. They kind of blur together.”

He started washing my chest, but I was onto him. He was trying to distract me. The sponge ran over my nipples, and damn, okay, that was almost working.

He leaned in to brush his lips against mine, and I let him play his game because I wasn’t a strong enough man to resist. He worked the sponge down my stomach, then circled around toward my back.

The shower was small enough we had only inches between us, and soon we were plastered together, skin slipping and sliding, kissing until my head spun.

We’d just had sex, or I would have been falling to my knees. I pulled back to catch my breath.

“A naked dude on a motorcycle. Really?”

Gray used the showerhead to rinse away suds. “I don’t suppose you’d forget you saw that?”

“No, and before you try to distract me again, I don’t think it’s possible for me to get off again right now.”

He laughed. “Okay, fine. I was eighteen, and I was feeling rebellious over the whole outing and disowning bullshit with my foster dad and I wanted something that screamed, I’m gay and I don’t give a fuck who knows it.”

“And so you went for a naked guy instead of, like, a Pride flag.”

Gray snorted. “I was young and dumb and?—”

“Full of cum,” I said with him, chuckling. “Fair enough. Your other tattoos are in much better taste.”

“Thankfully,” he said.

“I was wondering about these birds on your shoulder.” I turned him so that I could brush my fingers over the ink. “Liam and Clara are your parents?”

He nodded. “Yeah. They died in a fire when I was six.”

“Oh god. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Is that why…” I ran my hand down to the phoenix tattoo.

“Yes and no.” He turned us so that I was under the spray, then grabbed the shampoo and began to work it into my hair. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of his fingers scratching against my scalp.

If he didn’t want to say anything more about his parents, I wasn’t going to force it. I knew how hard it could be to dredge up pain embedded deep under your skin. I’d been a mess last night, and I’d only lost my brother. He’d lost so much more.

Gray took a breath. “The phoenix isn’t specifically about me surviving the fire, but about me surviving everything. Anything the world throws at me. It’s kind of my personal mantra, you know? I got through the fire and the loss of my parents. I got through the loss of my foster mom. I got through losing my home.” His dark eyes bored into mine. “I’m a survivor.”

“I can see that,” I said softly. “You’re strong.”

“You’re strong too, Emory.”

“It doesn’t always feel that way.”

“Believe me, I know. Why do you think I got the tattoo? It’s there to remind me. Losing my parents was hard. I had a lot of survivor’s guilt.” He grabbed the showerhead and directed it to my hair, rinsing the suds away. “Something you might be familiar with.”

“That’s different,” I said, closing my eyes as water poured down my face. “He died because of something I did.”

“Did you tell him to take that dare?”

“No, but?—”

“Em, my parents died in that fire because I got out of the house. I didn’t even think to look for them first, and I was so shocked I just sat on the front lawn, coughing and watching the house burn. I don’t know how long I was there before a neighbor ran over to tell me she’d called 9-1-1. I should have done something to save them.”

“You were just a child.”

“I could say the same to you.”

He turned off the water and leaned out of the shower to grab a towel from the rack. He handed it to me, then got a second one for himself.

I rubbed the towel over my body, lost in thought. Gray was right that we were both children when tragedy struck. But it was different, wasn’t it? He hadn’t reacted quickly enough to save his parents, but he hadn’t set that fire. I had started the game of Truth or Dare that led to my brother’s death. I’d wanted to prove I was just as brave as the rest of them. I’d made it through only two rounds before they’d asked me to climb the tree and jump into the river.

I’d chickened out—and Adam had stepped up when they’d all started teasing me.

I could have stopped it. Could have saved him. If only I’d been braver…

“Emory?”

I started, realizing I was staring into space with the towel in my hands.

Gray took it from me and hung it up, then drew me into his arms.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “That got heavy. How about we get out of here and enjoy the day?”

I nodded. “I think I could use a break from my thoughts.”

“Nothing better than a bike ride for that. Come on.”

We dressed and headed outside. Gray told me to wait on the porch while he rounded the house to get his bike. A few minutes later, I heard the rumble of the motor.

My stomach somersaulted. Was I really going to ride on this thing?

Gray came around the corner of the porch, helmet already on, looking every inch the bad boy on his all-black Harley. Fuck, it was sexy. He waved me over, holding up a spare helmet that was a shiny aquamarine color.

“Gotta protect that gorgeous head of yours,” he said.

I pulled it on, and he helped me fasten the strap, then guided me onto the upraised portion of seat behind him. There were two pegs for my feet, and I perched there awkwardly, doing my best to balance in place so I wouldn’t crowd him.

“Emory.” Gray laughed. “Pretend we’ve had sex once or twice and hold the fuck on to me.”

I gave in to the urge to lean into him, wrapping my arms around his waist. “Sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“Just trust me, golden boy. Anytime you’re unsure, grab hold and don’t let go.”

“Okay.”

“That goes for everything, not just riding.”

He shifted, the engine revved, and we took off like a shot. I sucked in a sharp breath, barely holding back an unmanly squeal as Gray turned us. We leaned with the bike, and oh fuck, were we going to fall over? We were so going to fall?—

The bike straightened, defying gravity, and sped up even more. I wasn’t just holding onto Gray; I was clinging to him for dear life as he got us onto the highway and blasted forward.

The wind whistled by, whipping my clothes around, the speed exhilarating.

I wasn’t really a thrill-seeker, but I had to admit, there was an incredible sense of freedom as we blew past the pool hall and tattoo parlor. Gray whizzed past cars, a little unnerving at first, but the man knew how to handle a bike.

I loosened my death grip, becoming aware of the sexy, firm muscles under my hands. Gray called over his shoulder. “You good now?”

“Yeah! This is great!”

He laughed. “Hell yeah, it is.”

I expected him to turn us around, but he drove right into town and along Main Street. I tensed for a moment before I remembered that I was wearing a helmet. No one knew it was me holding on to Gray without even an inch of space between our bodies.

My heart fluttered and skipped as we came to a stop at a red light, and Allison’s good friend Chelle glanced over at us from her little Honda hatchback. Her gaze traced over Gray’s body—not that I blamed her. Then, to my surprise, she looked me over as well, approval obvious in the glint of her eyes.

She rolled down her window. “Looks like a nice day for a ride.”

“Sure is,” Gray called.

“Too bad there’s not room for one more,” she said, her tone flirty.

“Sorry, darlin’, I don’t swing that way.” The light turned green, and we shot forward, making me gasp and clutch him tighter.

“I can’t believe she said that!” I called over the wind.

“You’d be surprised what people say when they can’t see your face,” he called back.

Gray continued through downtown, swung through an older neighborhood lined with large trees, then circled back to the highway, taking us back toward the auto shop.

He didn’t take us to the house, as I’d expected, though. He kept going, driving in the direction of Granville, until we reached an area that passed near the river. He pulled off the road, coming to a stop on the grass, and killed the engine.

“Let’s enjoy the view.”

I climbed off the bike, my legs numb from the vibrations, and Gray put down the kickstand. We pulled off our helmets, and he hung them from the handlebars.

While I smoothed down my hair, he grabbed a bag from the back of the bike. He’d stacked a couple of sodas and a bag of peanuts in it. “Not exactly a high-class date, but…”

I took the Coke from him. “This is great. Thanks.”

We walked down to the river, finding a stretch of grassy bank that wasn’t too muddy, and sat down. I cracked open my soda and took a long drink, then took a few peanuts when Gray offered the bag.

“So, what did you think of your first time on a bike?”

“It was terrifying at first,” I said with a laugh. “But then it was really fun. I don’t know the last time I’ve felt that free, you know?” I shook my head. “Thought I was gonna shit my pants when Chelle looked right at us.”

“Oh, you know her?”

“Well, yeah. You know her too. She was on the cheer squad with Allison in high school.”

“Huh. Well, I didn’t pay much attention to the girls in high school.” He winked at me. “I was more interested in the pitcher of the baseball team.”

“Not the quarterback?”

He snorted. “Todd what’s-his-face? No, thank you. He was such a douche.”

“And Dallas wasn’t?”

Gray’s grin disappeared. Shoot. The words had just spilled out. But Dallas wasn’t any better a memory for Gray than for me.

“I didn’t ever like Dallas.”

“No? But I thought…”

“He came on to me, and I didn’t have any other options, you know? I was in the closet. It was impulsive and a huge fucking mistake.”

“Because you got caught.”

“Yeah, that, but either way, it would have been a mistake to give that asshole any leverage over me. He’s not a good guy. Not then and not now.”

“Yeah, I know.” I pulled out my phone, the ten Instagram notifications glaring at me. I waved it at Gray. “He doesn’t really know how to take no for an answer.”

Gray took my phone, opened the DMs, and cursed under his breath. “What the fuck? Has he been doing this the whole time?”

“Nah, this started yesterday evening. I blocked his phone number, so now he’s cycling through all my social media.”

Gray’s eyes narrowed as he read a lewd message about Dallas’s cock tearing up my ass. He sat up straight, body radiating tension. “I should go kick his ass.”

“No, I don’t want you getting in trouble. His dad is the sheriff.”

“I don’t give a fuck about that,” Gray said flatly.

I took the phone back, navigating through the menus until I could hit Block. “There. Messages gone. He can’t contact me again.”

“Not on Insta. What about the others?”

“I’ll block him everywhere. I would have done it already, but someone kept me a little busy last night and this morning.”

His lips quirked, and he relaxed back on one elbow, some of his tension ebbing away. “Should I apologize for monopolizing your time?”

I leaned in to kiss him. “Don’t you dare.”

He wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck and held me in place as he deepened the kiss. There was something about the way Gray used his size and strength to hold me that got to me every time.

I climbed into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him until I was breathless.

“You’re gonna make it hard to get back on that bike if you keep it up,” he teased. “Unless you want to get it on outside where anyone could see us? Could be sexy.”

My face flamed. “Yeah, I don’t think I’m that adventurous.”

He got to his feet and held out a hand to me. “Didn’t think so. It’s going to be unbearably hot soon, anyway. Let’s head back.”

I joined him on the walk back to the bike. “Thanks for taking me out today. It really has been great.”

He handed me my helmet. “Anytime, golden boy. You know I’d never turn down a chance to spend some time with you.”

My heart skipped. “Yeah? I feel the same.”

He slid his hand over my ass and squeezed. “Good. I’m getting a little attached to this. You and me. Maybe someday, we’ll even go on a proper date.”

He swung a leg on the bike, settling in and kick-starting the engine before I could think of a reply. I tugged on my helmet and climbed up behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist, my pulse racing—and not only because of the jolt of the bike leaping beneath me.

Gray was such a great guy. I liked him so much.

But unless I changed my whole life, it couldn’t last. And I just didn’t know if I was brave enough to do that.