Page 84 of Out of My Mind

“I know. I had a friend stay with me a few days. They were fixing the roof in his apartment. There were leaks, so it was easier for him to move out for a few days and crash on my couch.”Spin spin spin.Gideon hated every word that came out of his mouth. Lying wasn’t second nature. It was an addiction.

His mom took a seat on the chaise section of the couch, Mac’s preferred spot. Gideon thought about Mac, who was sitting on a bus to West Virginia at this moment. When he woke up and realized Mac was gone, Gideon had texted him Good luck.

“Do you want anything to drink?”

“I’ll have some coffee.”

“Me, too!” Gideon scrambled into the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker. He was out of the line of fire, but it was short-lived. His mom joined him.

“Is your friend still staying with you? I don’t see any of his stuff.”

“He went home last night. I was just cleaning up some stuff he left behind. I’ll give it to him when I see him again.” He shut down during these moments, and some lying instinct took control of his body. Each lie made him feel dirtier. His mom drove all this way to get caught in more of Gideon’s lies.

“You seem nervous, Gideon.”

“I’m not nervous.”

“Are you all done with finals?”

“I have my last one this afternoon, then we can take off.” He got to tell the truth! What a glorious feeling!

Coffee dripped into the pot. “Any word on Noah and Christina? Noah and I talked, and I apologized for getting sick and leaving his wedding.”

“That’s good. They aren’t taking a honeymoon, for obvious reasons. Gideon.”

His mom stared at him. He pulled his attention away from the pot.

“Why weren’t you in your apartment when I arrived? Did you not sleep here?”

He could handle this. He was always two lies ahead. “I pulled a really late night at the library, and so I crashed at Seth’s dorm, since he lives right by there.”

It worked. “I didn’t realize you still had a final left today. I can occupy myself until you’re done. There are some cute stores along this street.” She poured herself and Gideon a cup of coffee. “How is Seth? You told me he has a girlfriend, right?”

She walked back into the living room and reclaimed her spot on the couch. She laid back and enjoyed the chaise. “I may need to take a nap here. But I won’t bother you. I’ll let you study in peace.”

Gideon stood at the doorway of the kitchen and watched her sink into the cushions. She was relaxed and happy. She would get to spend quality time with her son and by the time they reached Westchester, her worrying about Gideon would be long gone. Because I am the Good Son.

He had gotten so good at telling the right story that it was practically automatic. Second nature.

He could do this forever.

Forever.

“Mom.” His voice trembled, and she sat straight up. Her mother radar was back on high alert.

“What is it, Gideon?”

He held onto the doorway for support. The words were there. In his mind. On his tongue. He just had to push them out.

“Gideon?”

“I’m gay.” And with those two words, the catalogue of lies and stories he had built and carefully curated went up in flames. Goodbye, Good Son.

“Are you sure?” She wasn’t moving from that couch. It was her fortress. “You’ve had all those girlfriends.”

“I’m sure, Mom.”

She had never been this reticent. For now, he was assuming it was a good sign. If she wasn’t talking, then she was processing.