Page 27 of Out of My Mind

“I still can’t believe they’re together,” Mac said.

Gideon nodded, but he seemed to be somewhere else. He hadn’t said much since he got back.

Everyone wound up congregating in the kitchen. Mac pulled Gideon back from joining the fray.

“Is everything okay?” Mac asked.

“Yeah. Everything’s cool.” Gideon headed into the kitchen and turned on his loud charm. He greeted the crowd around the drinks as if this were his party. Mac admired that ability of his to own a room.

One more glimpse.

That’s enough.Mac hated that he had this attraction to Gideon and hated that Gideon’s feelings for him seemed more ambiguous everyday. He forced himself to think of something else. Delia pulled him into their conversation, saving him from himself.

Mac and Gideon spent the party apart, talking to different people. Gideon held court in the kitchen, always a drink in his hand. Mac liked the relaxed, intimate setting. It gave him a chance to actually hear what the other person was saying. The lowest of the lowkey twenty-first birthday parties turned out to be a great time.

Delia buzzed off to get the birthday cupcakes ready. Henry sidled up to Mac and ushered him to the window.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Mac swiped the last of the baby carrots and dipped them in hummus.

“Is Gideon gay?”

Mac nearly dropped his plate. He laughed off the question. “No. He went to that gay bar to pick up girls.”

“Or so he said. He beeped on my ’dar a little.”

Mac chuckled and played dumb. He spent way too much time wondering what would’ve happened at Cherry Stem if gay John Wayne hadn’t dry-humped his roommate. “What about all those girls he’s dated?”

“He wouldn’t be the first closeted guy to date women,” Henry said.

That was the main talking point in this type of discussion. There were guys who dated 100 girls or were married for thirty years and still turned out to be gay. Mac knew that dating women was a flimsy excuse to prove one’s heterosexuality.

“If he were gay, he’d be out.” That was what Mac always told himself. Gideon wasn’t the type to be holed up in the closet. He’d be just as well-liked gay as he is straight.

But Henry studied Gideon. He didn’t seem convinced.

“I saw you guys come in. If any stranger had seen you, they’d assumed you were boyfriends.”

“What?”

“The body language.” Henry shrugged. “I wondered if you guys were secretly dating.”

“You have got it so wrong.”

“Have I? My ’dar is pretty damn good.” Henry dumped his empty beer bottle in the trash. “It’s a shame. You two would make a really cute couple.”

Henry rejoined the party. Mac stared out the window. He ran through the memories of him and Gideon in the apartment. It had only been a few weeks, but it felt like longer, like they’d entered an alternate universe where they didn’t fight freshman year and they’d stayed friends this whole time.

Delia brought out twenty-one gluten-free chocolate cupcakes, each with a lit candle sticking out of them. Henry shut the lights as she walked it to the dining table. Gideon led them in singing “Happy Birthday,” waving his arms like a conductor. He grinned at Mac, his face silhouetted in the candlelight. Shivers of want descended down Mac’s spine.

Minutes later, Mac was still by the window, surveying the party. Gideon stumbled over, his tall, lanky body knocking into an end table. He held two cupcakes and handed one to Mac.

“I’m glad somebody got wasted at a twenty-first birthday,” Mac said.

Gideon rolled his eyes, still grinning. Usually, he was just an extra-social drunk, but it seemed that Gideon had crossed over into sloppy.

“Funny funny funny. You are so funny.” Gideon tapped Mac’s nose with his finger.