Page 56 of Out of My Mind

“Whenever today gets to be too much for you,” Hannah said, pointing to Jesus. “Just think of his hair.”

“I like this one, Gideon. At least I’ll get to plan one Jewish wedding.” His mom dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.

A pit belly flopped in Gideon’s stomach. “Not for a long, long while.”

“I know.” His mom raised an eyebrow, as if to say not too long. “Well, Hannah, let’s go find our seats. Gideon has to go with the wedding party. I have lots of questions to ask you.”

“Can’t wait!” Hannah walked to the pew with his mom. She turned around and flashed panic in her eyes. Gideon gave her a thumbs up for encouragement.

Φ

After the Catholic mass that would not end, Noah was officially a married man. The reception took place at a banquet hall down the block, one whose décor probably made Gideon’s mom want to claw her eyes out, but she was putting on her strongest game face.

“It’s very nice,” she said to Noah’s new mother-in-law, the ultimate test of her strength.

At least there was an open bar. Gideon headed straight for it like an oasis. He had the bartender make him a double. Some part of him told him to take it slow, but it drowned in a sea of gin.

Gideon meandered through the gathering guests, doing his best not to stumble. He didn’t know most of them. Noah invited very little family. His mom wanted to keep it a small wedding since it was last minute, but Gideon knew the real reason. He felt grateful that he was spared having to engage in awkward chitchat with distant relatives who still thought he was in middle school.

Hannah grabbed his arm. “Easy there. You don’t want to fall into the wedding cake.”

“That’s from28 Days! I love that movie! One of Sandra Bullock’s best!”

The deejay (another test of his mom’s game face) put on the first song to get everyone on the dance floor. Hannah reluctantly pulled Gideon onto the floor. She held him close, and usually he’d be all on it. Why wasn’t he now?

Stop being an idiot!He told himself.Pull it the fuck together.

He and Hannah swayed to the beat, and he let his body loosen up a little bit. Not too much. Not like how he was at Cherry Stem. Straight guys weren’t supposed to dance that way. Straight guys weren’t supposed to let their thighs rub against another guy’s legs and fingers weren’t supposed to touch. Hannah reached her arms around his neck, which because of their height difference she could barely get up there. For a second, he pictured it was Mac. He thought his feelings for Mac would’ve waned by now, but they only grew stronger, like they were planning a hostile takeover of his body.

Gideon did his best Seth impression on the dance floor. Stilted and rigid.Christina’s family doesn’t need to see Noah’s brother acting weird.Being a blah dancer was taking so much out of him. It was like holding his breath over and over.

“I’m going to the bar.” Gideon pushed away from Hannah. “Do you want anything?”

“Slow down, Gideon,” she said, somewhat forcefully. She was a good person. Gideon hated doing this to her.

I’m not doing anything to her.

He leaned against the bar and ordered another double. Noah bear hugged him from behind.

“You’re married,” Gideon said. “And you’re going to be a father.”

“Thank you for the life recap, brother.”

The bartender mixed Noah a gin and tonic. Noah tossed a fiver into his tip jar.

“Hannah’s nice,” Noah said, but there was a weight to his words that set Gideon on edge. “How long have you guys been dating?”

“About a month.”

“And you brought her to the wedding?” That was a question that didn’t require an answer. He was just making an observation.

“She’s really cool,” Gideon said.

Noah tasted his drink and aaaahed in delight. “Do you have a second for a brother heart-to-heart?”

“Sure?”

He walked with Noah into the hall, away from the little kids—Noah’s new nieces and nephews?—playing tag. Gideon wished he’d gotten his drink first.