I ’ve been pacing around in the backyard for what feels like hours, smoking and attempting to sort through whatever the fuck I’m feeling.

I don’t get how Kieran is so cool with the plan. He is the one who suggested we post the footage from Alex’s torture, but did he think this through?

Am I the only one feeling conflicted?

Once I feel relatively more like myself, I decide to go back inside. Kieran isn’t in the kitchen or the living area, so I stalk down the hallway, past Alex’s home office and spot him in her bedroom.

He looks deep in thought as he lies on the bed with his feet still on the floor, flicking his lighter on and off. “Want some company?” I ask as I lean my shoulder against the doorframe.

“Whatever,” he responds, shrugging against the mattress.

“You feeling better?” he asks in a clipped tone without looking at me. “I guess,” I say, deciding I don’t want to get into this right now.

We need to get this over with. If he really is okay with the footage being posted, who am I to question it? That day was traumatic for both of us; degrading and humiliating, but it was also the fucked-up ice breaker for us.

“We’ll need to edit the footage Alex has from the basement before we can post it,” I say as I take a seat on the edge of the bed next to Kieran. He lets out a deep breath, gets up and walks to mess with his hair in the floor length mirror.

“Are you ready for this? I know it was your idea to use that footage, but I don’t want you to reopen that wound if you’re not ready for it,” I whisper as I get up and stalk toward him. Placing my hand on his back, I stare at our reflection in the mirror.

A small smile tugs at Kieran’s lips as he watches me, and I can’t help but mimic his expression. We look good together. Black and white.

He leans back and presses his lips to my temple, and I instinctively close my eyes for a beat, savoring this silent moment between us.

This feels like a cliché, “The calm before the storm” , and perhaps it is but we have blossomed in the chaos with Alex.

“I think I’ll be fine,” he whispers as he turns to face me. As I open my eyes, he tilts my chin up and we share a kiss before he pulls back.

“Let’s go grab Alex that coffee and we can get started on the editing,” he suggests, and I swallow around the lump in my throat, nodding my agreement.

As I finish up an email for my current client, the boys wander into my office with a steaming cup of coffee. Kieran sets it down on my desk, and I can’t help but notice the tense atmosphere that lingers around them.

Fintan’s expression is guarded, his eyes revealing a mixture of determination and apprehension. Kieran, on the other hand, appears more composed, though there’s a glint of uncertainty in his gaze.

“Thanks guys,” I say with a smile. “What’s the plan for today?”

Kieran exchanges a glance with Fintan before replying, “When you are finished, we’d like to start editing the footage from the basement. We want to get it ready to post on Hush.”

I nod, sensing their apprehension, or perhaps it’s mine. The events in the basement are still fresh in my mind, and I’m sure they feel the same way.

“Sure, I’m done,” I say as I press ‘send’ on the email.

“What do we need?” I ask as I roll my chair back and stand.

“I’ll get everything ready. May I?” Kieran utters the words in a careful tone as if suddenly feeling the gravity of his decision to post this particular video as he gestures toward my computer.

“Of course,” I say, stepping aside and offering him my seat. “I’ll go grab some more chairs,” Fintan says as Kieran opens the browser and starts downloading the editing software.

Fintan gestures for me to follow him, I walk behind him toward the dining room and help him take two chairs to the office. “You okay?” I ask, my voice coming out meeker than I intended.

“Yeah, I just want to get this over with,” Fintan responds coldly. I stop him in the hallway, with my hand on his chest. “You can talk to me, you know,” I say, looking into his golden eyes.

His white hair only making the color more prominent as he mulls over my words. “Thanks, doll. I’m fine,” he responds, but I can sense he’s hiding something.

“Fine. I won’t pry,” I say, deciding not to push him and place a kiss on his cheek before turning again and heading to the office, dragging the chair along.

I help Kieran edit the video from the basement while Fintan responds to comments and messages on their Hush account. They have not been active on there since I brought them to my basement.

Neither of them wanted to watch the footage before starting the edit as they thought it would be easier on them to jump right in and not have to see it more than once. I agree. This is not exactly easy for any of us.

Since neither of them were wearing their masks in my video, Kieran blurs our faces, making sure every frame obscures our identities.

I watch him work in silent concentration. Kieran’s fingers move deftly over the keyboard, cutting, blurring and splicing the footage with precision, while Fintan leans in occasionally to offer his input.

The images flicker on the screen, a chilling reminder. Each frame seems to pulse with a life of its own, demanding to be seen and heard. I notice Kieran’s breathing pick up when we get to the part I know he has been dreading.

Forcing him to fuck Fintan was my lowest moment.

“Hey, you okay?” I ask, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. He turns to look at me and all I can manage under the heat of his gaze, is a weak nod.

I move my hand from his arm, feeling guilt and remorse hit me like bricks. He straightens off the chair and walks to the door, stopping to look at me and Fintan for a beat.

“I need some air. We’ll finish this later,” he announces before moving down the hallway and a few beats later, I hear him exit through the sliding door that leads to my backyard.

Fintan levels me with a questioning expression as he looks up from their work phone before his eyes travel to my monitor, taking in the paused image on the screen.

“Fuck,” he breathes, placing the phone down on the desk beside me. “Stay here, Dove,” he urges before rushing after Kieran.