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I can’t wrap my head around this.

What the fuck is going on?

I slam the bottle down onto the counter and turn to face Molly, my eyes wide with disbelief. “Okay, let me get this straight. You saw Hush on his phone, and he was making payments to them, then you questioned him and he said it was work?”

“Yeah, that’s what he said,” Molly mutters under her breath as she sighs and takes the bottle, swallowing down a bigger gulp than earlier. She shakes her head, her eyes concealed behind her amber hair as she grimaces from the burn of the alcohol.

Her words hang in the air as we both take a moment to let them sink in. Hush has been a shadowy presence in my life for weeks, lurking in the corners of my mind and leaving me feeling haunted. The idea that Joel might be involved with this god-awful site, feels like a nightmare.

“This has to be a mistake. A misunderstanding. There’s no way he’s involved with them,” I say, trying to calm my racing thoughts. “He can’t be.”

Molly nods, her eyes predictive. “How exactly do you know about this Hush site?”

Fuck, there it is. The question I have been dreading.

Do I tell her the whole truth about Fintan and Kieran?

Can she handle it? Hell, can I?

My feelings toward them have changed since I told her parts of my revenge plan a few weeks ago. I got my revenge and instead of making me feel better, it has only left me feeling remorse and even more lost than before.

“Remember the men I told you about? The ‘fake’ kidnappers. They recorded everything that night and long story short, they make content for Hush. I—uh… went through their phones when I found them and saw everything. They’ve been using kinkactors.com to find ‘willing’ participants for their videos.”

“Oh God, Lexi. I’m so sorry. I—I don’t know what to say,” she stammers uneasily as she starts to choke up again.

“They are the ones who should be sorry, M. Neither of us knew what we were getting into with my insane idea…” I trail off and Molly starts crying even harder.

“You know what? Fuck this. I need answers!” I declare with a slight slur in my voice as I take another gulp of vodka. I take a deep breath and retrieve my phone from the couch, dialing Joel’s number one more time.

“Shit, what are you doing?” Molly questions with worried tears in her eyes. “I’m calling Joel. I need answers and he better pick up his fucking phone.”

Molly nods nervously and takes a sip from the bottle before holding it out for me. The vodka is smoother now, going down my throat with more ease as I gain some liquid confidence. This time, Joel answers my call.

His voice on the other end of the line sends a shiver down my spine, his tone familiar yet somehow different, colder. “Hey, Alex,” he greets. I glance over at Molly, who raises an eyebrow in silent question.

“Joel?” My voice is steady, despite the sudden storm of emotions brewing within me. I can hear the faint hum of static on the line.

“What’s up?” Joel’s tone is suddenly casual, as if we’re just catching up after a long day. I don’t respond for a moment as I go through everything I want to say in my head. “I assume you’ve heard, and you have questions?” he asks and my heart hammers.

My anxiety kicks up as I attempt to formulate my words. “What?” I ask, my voice coming out shaky and confused.

“The break-up. I thought Molly would have spoken to you by now?”

“Oh… Uh—Yeah she told me,” I say, still feeling uneasy. “Joel, she said something to me that doesn’t sit well. I need to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me,” I say, my grip tightening around the phone until my knuckles bleach.

There’s a pause on the other end, a deafening silence that feels like it stretches on for an eternity. Even the static from earlier is gone. I exchange a quick glance with Molly, who watches me intently, her gaze unwavering.

Finally, Joel speaks. “Shoot.”

I draw in a sharp breath, bracing myself for what’s to come. “Molly said you broke up with her because of a website you were sending money to. She thought you were cheating on her.”

“Is that a question?” he asks, interrupting me, his defensive tone making me feel sick.

“Why are you paying Hush? Do you pay the actors or were you paying to watch?” I ask, unsure if I am ready to know the answer.

Another pause follows my question, and I can almost sense Joel’s hesitance through the line. When he responds, his voice is strained. “How do you know that name?”

“Just answer the question, Joel,” I press, my patience wearing thin, and my nerves already fried.

The static comes back and seems louder than before, drowning out everything else for a moment. Then, Joel’s words cut through the noise like a knife. “No. Now answer my question. How do you know about Hush?”

“No?” I ask as I start to hyperventilate.

No?! What the fuck is going on?

“Fuck, Alex! Answer me!” he yells through the line. Tears start running down my face as I try to form a coherent thought while my mind is spinning out of control.

My voice breaks as I ask the question that has been burning me up from the inside since Molly told me. “You work for them, don’t you?”

He curses and hangs up on me. The pieces of this twisted puzzle are starting to fall into place, revealing a picture darker than I could have ever imagined.

“Lexi, you okay? What did he say?” Molly asks in a whispered tone as she slides off her seat and walks toward me slowly.

“I—Um… I need some air. I’ll go grab us some food. Pizza?” I mutter; my voice is strained as I try to calm myself down.

“Sure,” she says, stepping closer to hug me. “Tell me what he said when you get back, yeah?”

I tighten my grip around her as I try to steady my erratic breaths “Yeah. I’ll text you when I’m on my way back,” I say, releasing her as I walk to the door and grab my bag.

Dropping my phone inside, I take my car keys off the hook and give her a tight smile over my shoulder. “Make yourself at home, I won’t be long.”