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“ I would get that t-shirt specially made for you,” Kieran muses when his fit of laughter subsides. A sarcastic smile tugs at the corners of my mouth when I nod in his direction, but it quickly falters when reality snakes its way back into my psyche as the euphoria of our activities begin to fade.

“This is weird, right?” I mutter, suddenly on edge as I look around the room with memories of the last few days replaying loudly in my mind.

“What do you mean?” Kieran raises his brow as he leans back on his elbows, watching me pace up and down.

“How did we get here? We went from making content to being tortured for doing so, and now we are in the bedroom of the woman who turned our worlds upside down — Fucking and talking as if this is the most normal thing ever.”

Kieran’s expression perks up as he watches me, he almost looks nostalgic, but I don’t miss the flicker of concern that brightens the green of his eyes.

“I know, it’s surreal,” he agrees in a silky tone.

“We have something together. None of us can deny that. Maybe this isn’t supposed to make sense; it feels right, doesn’t it? ”

He stands up, crossing the room to where I’m standing by the window, lost in my own thoughts. “It does, and that’s why it feels…” I mumble but he cuts me off before I can finish my thought.

“Why don’t we get breakfast started? Some food will do us good,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper as he leans in and places a kiss on my bare shoulder.

Usually, I am the one talking Kieran off the ledge and here he is, doing the same for me. I know Alex is poison but I’m as addicted as he is and I can’t help but drink her in with him.

I remain silent, nodding at his suggestion as I follow him out to the kitchen. He heads toward the fridge while I take a seat at the island, still letting my mind race with uneasy thoughts.

Why am I suddenly feeling whatever this is? This isn’t me. We should have stopped this days ago. This won’t end well.

Kieran smiles wide as he pulls a large pack of bacon and a carton of eggs from the fridge, placing them on the counter before searching the cabinets for Alex’s pans and utensils.

His expression quiets some of the thoughts in my head, and I can’t help but mirror the upward tilt of his lips as I watch him.

He finds what he is looking for and sets everything neatly next to the stovetop. I lower my gaze to my hands as I fidget, cracking my fingers one by one in my lap.

“Hey, get out of your head,” Kieran urges as he notices me stewing on my seat. “Want to cook the eggs?”

“Sure,” I say in an exhale and join him in front of the stove before Alex walks into the room.

“Aww, you didn’t have to cook,” Alex chimes as she joins us near the stove, peeking over to see what we are making. Her eyes flash with approval before she goes to sit at the island.

Her presence is both comforting and uncomfortable. It makes no fucking sense. I need to figure out what I am feeling and why I’m feeling it. Maybe I need to get out of my head the way I used to – I need blood, scars and pain.

After we finish breakfast, I start loading the dishwasher while the boys walk out to the backyard to have a smoke. I can’t hear what they are talking about but Fintan has been unusually quiet since our first shower while Kieran has been all smiles.

Something’s up. Kieran is usually broody and Fintan hardly ever keeps his thoughts to himself.

Deciding to find out what has gotten into them, I march over to the door and step outside. To no surprise, they stop talking when they hear me approach them.

“What’s going on?” I ask, crossing my arms. Fintan glances my way and shrugs as he takes a drag of his cigarette before blowing out the cloud of smoke. “Nothing,” he responds with a sigh that only adds to the sudden unease.

“We’re discussing the plan, Dove. This whole situation has all of us feeling a tad out of sorts, that’s all,” Kieran offers, flashing a look at Fintan.

Clearly, they are not so into the plan as I thought they were, which does nothing to ease the anxiety that is building inside me.

“You’re still helping me with Hush, right?” I ask, dropping my arms to my sides.

“We are,” Fintan quips with a seemingly forced smile as he turns to face me. “Something is clearly wrong. You can talk to me, you know,” I say, stepping closer.

“Nothing to talk about, little Dove. Don’t worry about it. Let’s get some coffee and start this thing,” he says, this time with his signature cocky tone, as he kills the cigarette in the soil of the potted plant next to the door and walks inside.

Alex looks confused as she stands there, staring at me like she wants me to explain Fintan’s behavior but fuck if I know what’s going on with him today.

I offer her a shrug and walk her inside where the scent of fresh coffee starts permeating the kitchen.

“Just ignore him, baby, he’ll be back to normal in no time. Maybe he just needs more time to process the plan we came up with,” I say as I give Alex a quick peck on her cheek.

“Sure,” she says, sounding wary. “You guys enjoy the coffee; I’ll grab some later.”

“What? You’re not having?” I ask as she turns toward the hallway. “I need to get some work done before I get fired… When I’m done, we get started on the video. You two probably want to watch it before editing it and posting it on Hush,” she says, and her words send a cold chill down my spine.

“Sure, I’ll bring you a cup,” I offer. She smiles, looking over at Fintan and back at me before responding. “Thanks, Kai. The laundry should be done soon, mind putting everything in the dryer? I’m sure Fintan doesn’t want to spend all day without a shirt on.”

“Will do,” I say and Fintan rolls his eyes when he turns to face me. Alex disappears down the hallway and I take a seat at the island, resting my face in my hands.

“What’s your problem?” I say on a deep exhale. “What?” Fintan says as he slides a cup of coffee toward me before taking a sip of his.

“You’re acting like a dick, Fin,” I say, taking the cup between my palms. “And you’re acting like a well-trained pet !” he whisper-yells.

I stare at him for a beat, not knowing how to respond to his ridiculous observation. “What the fuck are you talking about?” I spit out, feeling my blood pressure rise.

“We’re in this shit together. Why are you suddenly acting like she’s the enemy again? I thought things were good. They certainly seemed good last night and this morning, or am I missing something?”

He scoffs, taking another sip of his coffee. “Perhaps we need to clear our heads and think more about what we are doing here.”

I cock my head as I stare at him, frustration boiling over as he walks past me and out the backdoor again. I don’t know what his problem is but he needs to reign it in. Fast. This is not like him and we’re in too deep for him to start acting like a fucking brat.

I decide to let him cool off outside while I head to the laundry and shove everything in the dryer. Taking a few moments to cool myself down, I head to Alex’s bedroom and plop down onto the bare mattress to think.