Page 8

Chapter Eight

NATE

River falls asleep with his head tucked under my chin, snoring softly on my bare chest. A tiny smile tips up his top lip. He looks so peaceful, unburdened by nightmares and horrific memories. What I wouldn’t give to sleep through the night.

I brush the dark hair off his forehead, wondering if he’s dreaming about me when he mumbles something unintelligible under his breath.

“I love you,” I whisper and kiss his forehead.

He knows how I feel about him. We’ve never been shy about our feelings. But the words have more meaning when I say I love him after all the time we spent exploring each other’s bodies tonight.

My fingers trail down the smooth ridges of his abdomen, a featherlight touch that makes River shiver. I hook my arm around him, close my eyes... and drift to another place.

I hear a dull thump that pulls me from a dream. My bedroom is dark, save for a sliver of light peeking beneath the closed door.

Someone makes a strange noise. A whimper or a cry. It sounds like they are in pain. Then, something hard hits the wall in the spare bedroom.

I jump at the sudden intrusion and slide out of bed. More noises follow me to the door as I peek into the hallway. A woman yells, and I leave my room to investigate the source.

My dad raised me to protect women. He says they’re vulnerable and need strong men to care for them. I like girls. They’re pretty and smell nice.

Most of the girls at school blush when I talk to them. I ask them to borrow pencils just to touch their hands. I like how their skin feels against mine. Sometimes, when our fingers brush, their cheeks get all red.

Another shout pierces the air as I inch toward the room beside mine. Music floats up the stairs. I can’t make out the words, only the steady hum of the bass.

I push open the spare bedroom door and look inside. On the bed lies a naked man with a woman on top of him. Her head bobs up and down his lower half, and I can’t peel my eyes from the woman.

Her caramel brown hair hides her face like a curtain. But when she stops moving and tucks the strands behind her ear, I see her.

Veronica Langdon.

My mother’s best friend.

Like the girls at school, she always smells good. She wears tight dresses and heels and applies a lot of makeup. Her big boobs usually fall out of her tops, and whenever my dad catches me staring, he smirks.

I like it when she looks at me.

And she’s doing it now.

She tosses her long hair over her right shoulder, keeping her eyes on me as she puts the man’s dick in her mouth. A weird sensation blooms in my belly, and I’m starting to harden the longer I watch her.

I should walk away, but I can’t move my feet. Standing in the entryway in my boxers, I reach down and touch myself. Her eyes stay on me, and the man is none the wiser. He moans her name and threads his fingers through her hair, biting out a hiss.

My cock pokes through the slit in my boxers. It’s bigger than all of the boys on my hockey team. I see them in the shower and feel like a freak in comparison. But I’m also taller than them, almost six feet, and the tallest in my class.

Veronica seems impressed. She doesn’t look away when I fist myself in my hand. I want her to suck me into her mouth like the man beneath her, but she’s too old for me.

My dad jokes about me being a cougar chaser. I have no idea what he’s talking about. He thinks he’s funny.

A sound slips from my mouth. The man sits up, about to glance my way when I hide in the hallway. But I stay there, leaning against the wall, dick in my hand, too far gone not to finish. I got my first erection last year and haven’t stopped playing with myself since.

I’m not about to stop now.

He goes back to moaning Veronica’s name. So, I close my eyes and imagine she’s doing that to me, pumping my shaft until I come in my hand.

Later that night, or maybe it was the early morning, Veronica creeps into my bedroom. She kicks off her heels and gets in beside me.

“You like watching me, don’t you, Nathaniel?”I pretend to sleep, afraid to get in trouble if I answer.

She kisses my forehead. “My sweet boy. I will teach you.”

Her perfume fills my nostrils as her hair sweeps across my forehead. Still playing dead, I press my cheek to the pillow. Her lips ghost my forehead again, and her long fingernails run down my arm.

“Sleep, my darling,” she whispers. “I’ll come back for you tomorrow night.”

I wake up to the alarm clock blaring in my ears, shooting up from the mattress as if it’s on fire. My heart races so fast I can’t catch my breath.

“Nate,” River says, concern dripping from his tone.

He puts his hand on my knee, and the simple touch helps to calm my nerves.

“It was my fault,” I tell him. “I provoked her.”

River hooks an arm around me and sighs. “No, it wasn’t. You were a kid. She knew better and did it anyway.”

“I dreamed of the night it all started,” I confess, my voice shaking. “I went into that room. I jerked off in front of her. I stood there and watched her suck that guy’s dick and liked it.”

“That doesn’t excuse her actions, Nate.” River climbs onto my lap and straddles me, holding my head to his chest. “She was old enough to know right from wrong. A normal adult would have flipped out when they saw you watching. Veronica let you stay. She chose to wake you up and hurt you.”

“I wanted her, though.” Tears leak from my eyes and onto his skin. “Doesn’t that make a difference?”

“No,” he says with confidence. “She took advantage of you. That bitch made you do things you shouldn’t have been forced to do at any age.”

I tip my head back to look at him. “I’m broken. You should probably call it quits before I fuck you up too.”

He squeezes me tighter, shaking his head. “You’re not sabotaging something good because of her.”

“I fuck everything up, Riv. I don’t know how to have a normal relationship. Except for our friendship, my relationship with Veronica was the longest I’ve ever had… and it wasn’t by choice.”

The mystery and excitement wore off after the first few times with Veronica. I quickly realized what my mother’s best friend was doing to me was not normal behavior for an adult.

At all hours, she would wake me, wrists strapped to the headboard when I stopped being compliant. She even gagged me the few times I screamed. No one heard me over the music playing downstairs.

So, I stopped yelling for my parents. I couldn’t breathe with that thing covering my mouth. If I followed the rules, she took it off. And if I were a good boy, she wouldn’t bind my ankles to the footboard.

“We’re seeing Dr. Swanson this afternoon.” River runs his fingers down my back, ignoring the sweat matting my skin. “You’re safe now, Nate. Nothing bad will happen. I promise.”

Overcome by all the emotions swirling in my chest, I pull his mouth to mine. His lips part for me, eager and ready. River’s legs wrap around me like a koala. So damn clingy. But I love it when he attaches himself to me.

I’m never letting him go.

“Nate,” he whispers between kisses. “We’re gonna be late for class.”

“Don’t care.”

I rock us forward, moving River onto his back, and rut my hard cock against his stomach. River’s legs fold around me again as my lips assault his.

He moans into my mouth and pulls away. “My professor takes off grade points if we’re late. I’d love to stay here and make out with you all day, but…”

I sink back on my heels and gaze at the beautiful man beneath me.

My god, I love him .

He’s perfect, not a hair out of place after sleeping for hours.

“If we leave soon, we can eat breakfast at Kingston Brew.”

My stomach growls, and I rub my hand over my abs. “I could go for a bagel sandwich.”

River sits up and gives me another kiss. “It’s my turn to pay.”

I slide off the bed and extend my hand. “This is technically our first date. I’d be a dick if I let you pay.”

He gets up with a groan. “We’re not having our first date at Kingston Brew. And we can take turns with the bill. You don’t need to get all alpha on me.”

“It’s just…” I shrug, not sure how else to say what comes next. “I’m used to taking care of women. And well, you’re not.”

He moves his hands to my waist and quickly kisses my lips. “We can figure it out later.”

* * *

After I part ways with River at the coffee shop, I head to the other side of the campus. Legal Research is one of the few classes we don’t share. And since I haven’t told him about my deal with Waters, I pull out my cell phone and call my dad.

The line rings twice before he answers.

“Dad, I need your help.”

He snorts into the receiver. “You yelled at me. Hung up on me. Refused my calls. Now, you need me to bail you out of another mess?”

Slinging my backpack over my shoulder, I dodge a group of loud students and sigh. “Technically, I need you to help one of my teammates. So, will you?”

“Who?” Dad growls. “River?”

“No, Jimmy Waters,” I say, covering my mouth as I speak, paranoid someone will overhear.

“Why? What did you do?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” he shouts.

With a few minutes to spare, I sit on the bench outside the lecture hall and take a sip of my latte.

“He has a sex tape of us,” I lie, hoping that will do the trick.

A beat passes before he says, “Not this shit again. What does Jimmy Waters want from you?”

“A passing grade in Financial Accounting. He’s failing the class and will lose his scholarship and spot on the team.”

“One more fuck up like this, and I’ll pull you from that school,” he drawls. “I will personally come to Connecticut, gag and hogtie you, and drag your ass back to the ranch.”

So fucking dramatic .

I hold back a laugh because I’d love to see him try. We’re the same height, but I have an extra fifty pounds of muscle. One hit and I would have him on the floor crying.

“Can you make this happen or what?”

“Yes,” he bites out. “But if I do this, you’ll spend the summer at home.”

“What?” I protest. “Fuck, no. I’m going with River to The Hamptons.”

My father laughs. “River won’t be home to get drunk and make sex tapes with you. He’ll be preparing for his next NHL season.”

“Next? He hasn’t signed with anyone yet.”

“River’s meeting with NHL teams over the Thanksgiving break,” he says as if it’s a fact. “Ryan told me the last time we spoke. He’s very proud of River. Wish I could say the same about you.”

I grip the coffee cup so tightly the lid pops off, falling onto the bench. If I don’t shut my mouth and agree to his terms, Waters will ruin River’s career. He can’t be a gay hockey player. Not with all the bigoted assholes out there.

“Fine,” I agree, even though it’s a lie. “I’ll come home this summer if you fix Waters’ grade.”

“I’ll get it changed by the day’s end,” he says, his tone smug and victorious. “And no more fuck-ups, boy, or I will disown you.”

I groan. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“I know the author’s identity,” Dad says in a nasty tone. “Does the name Sofia Daly ring any bells?”

“Not even the slightest.”

“The lawyers don’t have an NDA for this girl. I have my PI looking into her. I just sent you an image.”

My phone beeps with a new text message. When I open it, I gasp. Her New York driver’s license image shows the same heart-shaped face, button nose, and long, blonde hair that mirrors Samantha’s.

Except it’s Sofia Daly.

“That lying bitch,” I hiss, teeth gritted. “Yes, I know her. She said her name is Samantha Donovan. She signed an NDA this summer.”

Thank god I deleted those videos from her cell phone. But she knows my other secret, and now everything I thought was covered under the non-disclosure agreement is void.

Dad lets out an agitated breath into the receiver. “I’ll deal with it. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t call or approach that girl. Get to class. Your mother and I will see you at Thanksgiving. We’re staying at Ryan’s house for the weekend.”

I rise from the bench, annoyed and late for class. “I’ll see you then.”

“Say thank you,” he demands. “Where are your manners, boy? I raised you right.”

Kids with shitty parents should get the opportunity to choose new ones when they’re old enough to make sound decisions.

“Thank you, sir .” I open the door to the lecture hall, allowing a few girls to enter ahead of me. “Good-fucking-bye.”

After I hang up, I turn around and go home. Samantha—I mean Sofia—cuts me deep with her betrayal, but I’m angrier with River.

He hid the truth from me.

How could he accept meetings with NHL teams and not tell me? I bared myself to River last night. And I just saved his ass from being exposed by Waters.

How could he keep this from me?

You know why , the voice in my head whispers.

He doesn’t love you.

No one does.

He will leave you.

You’re not good enough.

No, I’m not. I’m never enough for anyone, including my fucking father. If the man who gave me life doesn’t love me, why would River?