Page 15

Chapter Fifteen

NATE

When our teammates leave the house, I lock the door, excited to be alone with River. He stands beside me, hands shoved into his pockets and biting his lip. My cock jerks at the sight.

“Run,” I say, desperate for him. “I’ll give you a headstart… and you better be naked when I find you.”

He gets in my face. “You’re not the boss of me.”

“No?” I grip his ass and pull him to me. “Who owns this?”

River burrows his face in my neck and chuckles. He flicks his tongue over my skin, sending a shiver down my arms.

I slide my hand beneath his chin, and our eyes meet. “If you want my dick, you better get going. Time is running out.”

At that, River steps back and heads toward the staircase. He strips off his shirt, tosses it at me with a smirk, and runs up the stairs.

River awakens my inner hunter. The voice in my head screams, mine, mine, mine .

I follow behind River and step over his clothes as I remove mine, racing up the stairs toward his bedroom.

When I enter the room, River sits on the bed naked, hands on his spread thighs. His cock is hard and touches his stomach, leaking precum. He’s toned in all the right places, not a single imperfection on his gorgeous body. Muscles ripple down his thighs.

I stalk toward the bed, River oozing sex and desire, his presence turning me feral.

I slide my thumb across his bottom lip. “I want to mark your perfect skin. Claim you so everyone knows I own you.”

River licks my thumb, a smile in his eyes. “Do it.”

Every inch of my skin is on fire. My need to possess him overwhelms me. So, I pin him to the bed and claim his mouth with a rough kiss. He fights back, playing into the game while silently begging for more.

His legs wrap around my back, and we rut our bodies together to create some friction.

“I want you in my mouth,” River says between kisses. “I want you to fill all of my holes.”

The offer is too tempting. Regardless of my previous plan, I roll onto my back and nod at my cock.

“Get to sucking then.”

River kneels between my legs and grips my hips, pressing soft kisses to the skin below my belly button. The sudden contact steals a growl from my throat.

Mine, mine, mine .

Palming River’s head, I push my cock past his pretty lips and rock my hips. He loves it when I take the lead, swallowing me down his throat.

“Fuck, your mouth… Goddamn, Riv.”

I run my fingers through his silky, dark hair to push it off his forehead. His cheeks are puffed out, so full of me his eyes water.

I grunt, tightening my grip on his hair. “I’m so close. Don’t stop doing… that .”

He pops my cock out of his mouth, spit dripping from his lips, and smiles.

“What are you doing?”

River shakes his head and climbs on top of me. “You’re not coming in my mouth.”

He kisses me again, and we take turns sucking and biting each other’s lips, a playful tease that drives me wild.

“Get the lube,” he says. “I need you inside me.”

I reach over and grab the bottle from his nightstand. He sits up and makes room for my hand between his thighs. I press my finger to his tight hole, and River groans.

“Fuck, Nate. More, I need more.”

His eyes drop to my cock. He licks his lips like he wants another taste.

With that, I pull out and add another finger, his inner walls tightening around me. He enjoys the pain and welcomes it, asking me for more. So, I add a third finger and stretch him out, nice and wet and stretched for my cock.

As I pump my fingers into River, his body relaxes. He slumps against me, our chests pressed together, breathing harder.

“Fuck me,” River says, his green eyes flaring with intensity. “Punish me with your big cock. Claim me. I know you want to, Nate.”

After I remove my fingers, he grabs my shaft and lines my tip to his entrance. He pushes me past the first ring of muscle, groaning as he clenches around me.

Gripping his hips, I bounce him up and down my cock, staring into his eyes. “You like getting fucked in this tight ass, don’t you?”

He nods and digs his teeth into his lip. “I wanna ride all the way home with your cum dripping out of me.”

I lean forward and flick my tongue over his nipple as I grip his shaft. We work as a team, me thrusting up into him while I stroke his fat cock, River riding me like a damn cowboy.

He moans, and his eyes slam shut. “Oh god, Nate.”

I sink deeper and deeper, and every time I hit his prostate, he moans louder. River is on the edge, so close to hitting the peak of his orgasm. To heighten his pleasure, I wrap my fingers around his throat and squeeze lightly. His eyes open and widen on me, a thrill rushing over him.

“I did this to you, baby,” I tell him, jerking his leaking cock. “Say it.”

“You did this,” he bites out. “Oh, fuck… Yes.”

My head spins from the wave of sensations rocking my body. River is seconds from coming, and I’m not far behind.

“Come for me, Riv.”

I lift my hips, thrusting one last time as my cum fills his tight hole, and he coats my chest. Out of breath, he collapses on top of me, his head on my shoulder. His cum sticks to our skin, but I don’t care because I love the scent of him.

He gives me a quick kiss and slides off me.

“Bend over.”

I slap his ass, and River laughs.

He gets on his knees, his ass facing me. “Can’t get enough of me, lover boy?”

I move behind him and spread his cheeks, turned on by my cum dripping out of his hole. “I will never get sick of this.”

After mentally cataloging this moment, I push River onto the mattress. “That was unreal. Who knew sex could be like this?”

“If I had known, I would’ve fucked you years ago.”

I stare at the ceiling, my heart racing, trying to catch my breath. Once again, River has blown my mind.

I’m so lucky he’s my boyfriend.

For once, someone chose me.

* * *

On our way to River’s house, I sit in the passenger seat, bored out of my mind. Whenever I let my thoughts wander, I go to dark places.

It’s a habit.

I think about River walking away and moving on with his life, no longer weighed down by my problems and me. Once he’s gone, he won’t have to wake up to my nightmares. Or stroke my fragile ego that sometimes dangles by a thread.

I hate her.

Veronica.

No matter how hard I try, I can’t erase her from my brain. She’s the star of my nightmares, the tormentor of my existence. I regret ever walking into that bedroom. If I hadn’t been such a horny little shit, she wouldn’t have come into my room.

I hate that my cock hardens just thinking about naked bodies pressed together. I hate that I can’t control myself without River holding me back. And most of all, I hate that I have this sickness inside me that will eventually infect River.

It’s not fair to him.

He’s too good for me.

He will find someone better.

No one can really love me.

Shut up , I tell myself, pushing the self-doubt into the corner of my mind. River loves you. Stop being an idiot .

It’s funny how you can know the truth yet deny it. In my heart, I know River loves me and will do anything to protect me. But my traitorous brain likes to trick me.

Dr. Swanson once told me, “Thoughts are not facts. Our minds are capable of conjuring the worst scenarios.”

She was right.

That woman always knows what to say and how to bring me back down to earth. Until Dr. Swanson, I hadn’t had a decent therapist. They all worked for my parents, using our sessions to relay information to them.

Sex is my usual coping method. But River is driving, those big hands I want all over my body gripping the steering wheel.

To distract myself, I whip out my journal. I have kept a log of every thought over the past two months. Dr. Swanson was right about this daily exercise. My entries started with sexual fantasies and then evolved into helping me understand my feelings for River.

River’s head snaps to me. “You okay?”

I nod. “All good.”

He grips the wheel tighter. “You don’t seem good.”

“No?” I slip on a pair of aviator sunglasses so he can’t see my eyes or read the lie written all over my face. “I’m fine.”

“I know what you’re thinking, Nate. You are so transparent. I’m not leaving you,” he says. “Never.”

“Yeah.” I flip to a blank page, balancing the journal on my knee. “I know.”

“Do you, though? Because I remind you all the time… and it still doesn’t seem to sink in. What must I say or do to make you believe me?”

Even before we started dating, I feared losing River. He’s the person who keeps me sane and grounds me in ways no one else can. Without him, I would be like a lost puppy wandering the world alone.

“I’m thinking about skipping law school,” I tell him. “So I can be with you on the road.”

It’s not if River signs with an NHL team but when . He is too good not to play in the league. Hence, teams are competing for his attention two months into the current season. While it’s not unusual for a player to sign outside the draft or free agency window, it doesn’t happen that often.

They are making exceptions for River. Because of his stats and talent. Because not signing him would be a fucking tragedy. Any team would be lucky to have him.

River is a star.

He was born to shine.

“Are you sure you want to do that? I don’t want you to give up your dreams for me.”

“It’s not my dream.” Clutching a pen between my fingers, I sigh. “My dad chose this path for me. I could give a damn about being a lawyer. I stuck with law, hoping to one day become your agent.”

River smiles. “I would love that. And you technically don’t need to be a lawyer. You only need a bachelor’s degree to get certified. The NHL Players' Association only requires you to have a player on an NHL roster, pass a written exam, and participate in a two-day seminar. Oh, and I think you need a state license and insurance. The usual business stuff.”

“But your dad’s agent is a lawyer. I just assumed… I’ve even read up on the top agents.”

He shakes his head. “If you wanna be my agent, finish your degree. We only have one more semester left.”

“But that would mean… You would be?—”

He leans over and puts his hand on my heart. “I will always be in here. That’s what counts.”

“You have to graduate with me, Riv. One more semester, and you’ll be a college graduate. Don’t let your dad take that from you because he gave up his freshman year.”

“I can finish the last semester remotely. My dad already spoke to the dean.”

“Oh. So, you’re considering leaving after this semester?”

He failed to mention this when we spoke about his meetings. River talked about his excitement and how much playing in the NHL meant, but he never confessed to leaving me after this semester.

A knot forms in my stomach, digging into my side like a knife. The pain intensifies, a deep ache that settles into my bones.

I glance out the window.

“Nate,” he groans. “Please don’t do this to me.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Fuck, would you stop it?”

I sink into the seat and roll my head toward him. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I knew you would react this way. At some point in our lives, we won’t get to spend every waking moment together. You need to come to terms with this.”

“I hate how I’m wired,” I whisper, putting my face in my hands, frustrated by my neediness. “I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.”

“You’re getting better, Nate. I know you can’t see it, but I can. Talking to Dr. Swanson and writing in your journal has helped you a lot. But it’s a slow recovery. No one forgets trauma. You can only learn how to live with it. Otherwise, it will eat you alive.” He slides his hand onto my knee and grabs my hand. “Those thoughts will always be there. Just remember that I love you. Okay? I fucking love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Even after everything, I still have doubts. I have felt unlovable for most of my life. That kind of pain and reprogramming doesn’t fade after a few months of therapy. It might take years for me to believe him.

Unsure how to respond, I squeeze his hand, biting back the tears threatening to spill, and say, “Okay.”