Page 12

Chapter Twelve

NATE

I have never been nervous about sex. Well, that’s not entirely true. During the darkest days with Veronica, I feared sleep. I dreaded she would come for me. But with other women, I always exuded confidence.

I knew what to do because I learned from a world-class whore how to fuck. Yet, everything is different with River.

Kneeling between his spread thighs, I withdraw the dildo, holding his gaze. He watches as my chest rises and falls faster and notes the hesitation that must be written on my face.

River leans back on his elbows. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to fuck this up,” I confess, feeling stupid for saying the words aloud. “You mean too much to me, Riv. I can’t lose you.”

“Please just fuck me, Nate.” He grips my hips and yanks me closer, expelling a deep breath. “Until you do, you won’t know if you can commit to me.”

“Are you kidding?” I laugh, shaking my head. “You’re all I think about it. It’s always been you.”

“Bullshit,” River challenges. “This was one-sided for years.”

“Really? Has it been, though?” I put my hands on each side of his body and cage him against the mattress. “Do you remember the first time we jerked off together?”

He nods. “How could I forget? I knew that night something was different about me. I didn’t want to look at the girl on your screen, not when I had your perfect dick right there.”

The memory floods my brain, and for a moment, I am instantly transported to ten years ago. We were twelve and figuring out how our dicks worked.

I learned a lot from Veronica, but everything felt new and different with River. It was my chance to start over. He was mine the second I laid eyes on him.

I just knew.

Curiosity had gotten the best of me. And deep down, I knew River wasn’t asleep yet. A part of me wanted him to climb into my bed, sit beside me, and take out his dick. And he did, just like I had wanted.

“I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately.” Running my fingers over his smooth chest, I say, “Why didn’t I think my behavior was weird? It never occurred to me that two straight men wouldn’t masturbate together. And it should have, right?”

River blinks, mouth shut, waiting for me to continue.

“I only saw you. From the moment we met, I was drawn to you. The hunter in me saw what he wanted and went after it.”

A long moment of silence sweeps over the room. I can see the internal debate playing across River’s face. He wants to believe me, but something is stopping him.

“What about all the girls you fucked? The ones we fucked together? You like women, Nate.”

“Do I? I mean, look at how I treat them. Like bodies to use and discard. I never gave a damn about a single woman I have ever fucked.”

“You liked Samantha,” he challenges. “It was so obvious you did.”

I shrug. “She was down for anything and didn’t care what we did to her. I liked fucking her. That means nothing.”

“You like women. It’s okay. You don’t have to be gay for us to be together.”

While I’m well aware, I have doubts about my sexuality. Every time I buried my cock in a girl, I did so to erase Veronica from my mind. They were stand-ins for her. A way for me to regain control of my fucked-up life.

Did I even like it?

River was always in the room with me, but I couldn’t get hard once I was alone with Samantha. My entire body froze up.

“I’ve never had a girlfriend,” I tell him, meeting his gaze. “I run whenever women get too close to me. None of those girls were my endgame. You are.”

Leaning forward, I take his bottom lip into my mouth and suck. Whenever I touch River, he bends to my will like clay for me to mold. He shifts beneath me, his cock brushing mine. I take him in my hand, and he moans into my mouth, deepening the kiss.

As our lips separate, River slides his hands over my abs. A shiver rolls down my arms, the sensation going straight to my cock.

“If you don’t fuck me, I will die.”

“That’s not possible,” I say with a cocky grin. “You can’t die from lack of orgasms.”

He flicks his tongue over my nipple, eyes on me. “No more talking. I need your big cock in my ass.”

I slip my hand beneath his chin. “This is real, Riv. You and me.”

He nods. “I know you love me. And it’s okay if you wake up tomorrow and realize I’m not enough. Just give me tonight.” River hooks his arms around me. “I want one perfect night with you.”

My heart races at his confession, and my mouth suddenly feels too dry. One perfect night means I have to be perfect. How can I be? I’ve never had sex with a man before. This might suck for him and send him running out the door.

Our friendship is on the line.

And so are our hearts.

With a shaky hand, I flip open the lube and glide it down my shaft, eying up River’s hole. I fight the nerves slithering down my back, arms, and legs. If River notices, he doesn’t say anything.

Every man is anxious the first time he has sex. While I’ve been with plenty of beautiful women, I have yet to experience anal with a man. So, I have every right to be mentally freaking the fuck out.

River digs his heel into my ass, then squeezes his legs around me. “Make love to me, Nate.”

One of many firsts for me.

I usually take women rough and fast, not slow and tender. But River is not a woman, and for the first time, I’m having sex with someone I love. A man I have probably been in love with for years yet was too self-absorbed to notice.

No longer thinking about the act or worrying about our friendship, I line up my cock at his entrance and push the tip inside. He grunts at the sudden intrusion, eyes half closed.

“You good, Riv?”

He nods, biting his bottom lip.

“What does it feel like?”

“Like you’re stretching me out.”

I slide in another inch, and he hisses.

“Be more specific.”

“It stings,” he admits. “But it doesn’t last long.”

I fill him up.

His eyes slam shut. “Oh, fuck!”

“How about now?”

“Fuck,” he growls. “That feels… amazing.”

“Yeah?”

He nods. “Fuck, yeah.”

This is the first time either of us has had raw sex. We’re both clean and trust each other. Knowing River would keep my heart safe, I could carve it from my chest and give it to him. There’s no one on this planet I trust more.

As I move my body, River moans, “Oh god, Nate.”

“You like having my big dick in your tight ass, don’t you?”

His eyes meet mine, and he bobs his head.

“You’re such a dirty boy, Riv.” I etch my fingers into his hips and take him harder. “Look at you letting your best friend give you a good pounding.”

“Nate,” he whimpers as I slam into him with more force. “Oh, yeah… Right there.” His legs wrap tighter around me, and that only drives me deeper. “Fuck, that’s my prostate.”

I listen to the sounds he makes for me. Watch him unravel beneath me. Our chests are slick with sweat as I claim him with another thrust.

“You are mine,” I say, jerking his cock. “ Tu es à moi .”

His eyes widen, shocked I remembered how to say the words, and then, he says, “ Je suis à vous.”

“Yours,” I confirm.

When I slide as deep as I can go, I lean forward to lick his nipple, and as my tongue connects with the tiny bud, he mutters my name.

“Say it again,” I command.

“Nate,” he whispers.

He lifts his hips, and I thrust deeper, spilling my seed inside him as his cum hits our stomachs.

It takes a second for my brain to reconnect with my body. High on River, I’m swimming in a sea of ecstasy, lost to the feeling of my cock inside him. I collapse on his chest, both of us sticky and exhausted.

“Wow, that was fucking insane.”

He sits up to kiss my lips, stealing the air from my lungs. “You’re never going to want sex with a woman again.”

I pull out of him and watch my cum leak from his ass. “You seem confident of that.”

He smirks. “I am.”

I drop onto the bed, and River curls up beside me, resting his head on my chest, arm draped across my stomach.

River lifts his head and grins. “Wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” I say, unable to contain my smile.

“You’re so fucking gay,” he tells me, and this time, I don’t correct him because he’s right.