Page 38 of Ordinary Secrets (Secrets Trilogy #1)

38

TREY

If I wasn’t perplexed by this woman before, I am now. She’s a good liar. If I didn’t know any better, I’d believe her. But I do know better, and at the end of the day, it’s her word against biology. Believing her is like believing she can get pregnant from watching porn. It’s just impossible.

After I convince her not to leave, I carry her back into the house. The second I return her feet to the carpet, she runs and locks herself in the bedroom— our bedroom—the one we’ve been making love in almost every night for weeks. Something I thought we were doing with only each other.

To give her some time alone, I pace the kitchen where my panic first started. My mind hasn’t stopped feeling chaotic since I saw those brochures fall out of her purse. I can’t wrap my head around the idea that she let another man put his grubby little raccoon hands all over her. The knots in my chest tighten just thinking about it.

When did she even find the time? When she’s not with me, she’s either at work or with Javina. I guess, now that I think about it, I don’t have any proof that she’s at work or with Javina when she says she is. She could have been sneaking off to see another guy this whole time.

Maybe this is why she refuses to move to Paris with me—why she didn’t even consider it. She didn’t want to leave him behind. What’s he got that’s so special? What am I missing that made her turn to someone else to fill that void? Maybe I should have?—

No. I can’t do this. I can’t spiral down a hole of self-pitying thoughts right now. Not while I’ve got a woman in my bedroom who’s crying her eyes out. No matter what she did, I still care deeply about her, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right.

Lightly, I knock on our bedroom door. Again, our.

Nothing happens.

I knock again.

“It’s unlocked,” says a sniffling voice.

I enter to find red eyes, pink cheeks, and a bunch of crumpled-up tissues on the nightstand. I want to scoop her into my arms and tell her that everything’s gonna be okay. I don’t, because nothing’s okay. Not while there’s another man’s baby growing inside her.

Silently, I bunch up all the tissues and toss them into the trash. She clutches her violet blanket against her front as if she needs a barrier between us. As if she’s using it to protect herself from me.

I sigh deeply. I didn’t mean to upset her. I’m just hurt. I want to know why I wasn’t enough for her. I’d do anything for her, including drop my band and move to Europe to protect her. I’d spend every last dime I have on making her dream bakery become a reality. I’d even trade my life to save hers if it came down to it. How is that not enough?

I point to the empty side of our bed. “Can I sit?”

She nods, and I settle in.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” I say gently.

“I’m sorry for yelling too.”

“I’ve been thinking it over, and if you say you didn’t sleep with someone?—”

“I didn’t.” She says it so resolutely, I almost believe her. I want to believe her. I just can’t when there’s evidence inside her that points otherwise.

“Then there’s only one explanation. You’re not pregnant.”

“I’ve had really sore breasts for a week now, and three days ago, I woke up slightly nauseous. That’s why I went to take a test at the doctors. It came back positive, as did the home tests I took.”

“Maybe the tests are wrong. Let’s take another.” How accurate can those tests really be? There’s gotta be a chance they’re wrong, right?

“Okay.” She agrees so quickly, it makes me think the odds are not in my favor.

I jump to my feet. “Great. Let’s go.”

“Now? It’s past three in the morning.” She gives me a look like I’m insane. Maybe I am. Actually, I know I am. I’m in love with an Ordinary. It doesn’t get any crazier than that.

What if, by some miracle, she is carrying my child? What if she really is a Zordi and just pretends to be an Ordinary for a reason I can’t comprehend? It’s possible to pretend to not see far. It’s possible to fake shivering. It’s possible to force your body to fall asleep every night.

But then, if she was a Zordi, why wouldn’t she have said something by now? If she was a Zordi and didn’t know it, why wouldn’t she mention that she feels a tingle in her chest whenever she’s around me?

Also, how does she fake the sweat that beads over her forehead whenever we’re under the hot sun? How did she fake passing out from getting roofied by Ordinary drugs? If she was a Zordi, Dex would have had to drug her with z-drugs. If she was a Zordi, she’d have powers, and she’d heal faster than she does.

The more I think about it, the more my anxiety grows. There’s no way in hell that baby is mine, and I don’t care that it’s three in the morning—I need to know the truth, and I need to know it now.

I head toward the door. “I can’t wait any longer, babe. Let’s go.”

Arella shakes her head and gestures at her red face and messy hair. “Trey, look at me. I’m not in a state to leave the house. How about we do this first thing in the morning?”

I don’t give two fucks what she looks like right now. On her side of the bed, I collapse to my knees with my arms in her lap. “Arella, please. For once, can you just do what I ask? This is not like when I asked you to stay at the restaurant. Or like when I asked you to take me to meet your grandparents. Or to move to Paris with me. Or to accept the new car. You’ve been fighting me on practically everything since the day we met. Can you, please, just give me this one thing?”

I slap a hand over my chest. “Try to see this from my side, okay? I’m an infertile man whose girlfriend just told him she’s pregnant. I want to believe that you didn’t sleep with another man, but can’t you understand that this whole situation is tearing me apart?”

Forty-five minutes later, we step inside a twenty-four-hour superstore that smells of stale chips and sour milk. With Arella in hand, I head straight to the aisle with condoms and pregnancy tests.

“Why are we getting four?” Arella asks when I pull multiple brands of tests off the shelf.

“We need to be sure.”

She scowls at the boxes tucked under my arms. The look on her face tells me I shouldn’t grab another.

I guess four’s enough. “Don’t worry, babe. I’m paying.”

“That’s okay. I can get it.” She reaches for the boxes.

I lean back. “I got it.”

She shifts her scowl from the boxes onto me. “You never let me pay. Not when we go out to eat, not on our dates, and you just bought me a brand-new car. Let me buy something for once.”

“No.”

She doesn’t give up because lately, she’s been making it a point to be as difficult as possible. “Why do you always get to pay for everything?”

“Because I’m the man.” The moment I say that, I want to face-palm myself.

She scoffs and jerks her head back. “Are you saying I can’t pay because I’m a woman ?”

“No.” I let out an exasperated breath. “I’m paying because these things are a smaller percentage of my bank account than yours. You work hard for your money, and all I did was lose my parents to a fucking explosion. Thousands of dollars I don’t deserve appear under my name every month, so I’m paying. Besides, this was my idea. I was the one who dragged you out here in the middle of the night.”

For a moment, her glare falters into sympathy. It looks like she’s about to give in, until she crosses her arms over her chest. “Nathan always had more money than I did, and he never let me pay for anything. At first, I thought it was because he wanted to be nice. Eventually, I realized he just wanted to control me.”

Ouch. I can’t believe she’s comparing me to that ugly scumbag right now. I cup her face with my free hand and lean in to her. “That’s not what I’m doing, and you know it.”

“Then when I say I want to pay for something, don’t stop me.”

This woman is one of the most easygoing people I know. She’s also the most difficult. I’ve learned by now that once her mind is made up, there’s no changing it. So reluctantly, I hand her the boxes.

She clutches all four against her chest. “Thank you for understanding that I need to do this.”

I do understand. Things are falling out of control, and she wants to feel in control of something . Not only that, she doesn’t want to repeat her situation with Nathan. I applaud her for standing firm the way she just did. My strong, independent woman.

I lower my voice. “If you want to pay, that’s fine, but please, don’t compare me to your ex ever again. I don’t buy you things to control you. I buy you things because I want to take care of you. Because I—” Because I love you. The words almost leave my lips. They don’t, because 4 a.m. in the middle of the family-planning aisle of a grocery store is not the right time or place. “Because you’re special to me.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to compare you to him. I was just trying to explain why I wanted to pay.”

With a palm on the small of her back, I pull her in. She steps into me and allows me to kiss her forehead, but it’s not enough, so I cup the back of her neck and collapse my mouth over hers. We embrace in a hard kiss that soothes the ache in me.

The second we part, the ache floats right back in like a cold black fog. Our moment of truth is coming, and my heart knows it.

“The car is this way,” Arella says after we check out.

“But the bathroom is this way.” I point toward the big restrooms sign hanging from the ceiling.

“What? We’re doing this now ?”

“What part of ‘I can’t wait any longer’ wasn’t clear?”

“Can’t we do this at your house?”

Ouch. It stings that she didn’t call it our house. “Arella, please...” I hold out the shopping bag.

With a huff, she snatches the bag. I’m about to follow her into the family bathroom when her palm against my sternum stops me.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

I give her a duh look. “Trying to see if you’re pregnant?”

“Nuh-uh. You need to wait out here. I don’t want you to stand around and watch me pee on a stick.”

“What’s the big deal? It’s not like I’ve never seen you naked.”

“It’s weird.”

Things will move along faster if I stop arguing with her, so I step back with my hands up. “Fine. Just take all four, and let me in as soon as you’re done.”

The bag crinkles in her grasp as she vanishes behind a locked door.

After an eternity, Arella peeks her head out and motions for me to enter.

Breathe, I remind myself. I’ve been forgetting to do that.

“So?” I say as an electric current of nerves shoots up my core. “What’s the verdict?”

“I just took them.”

“Okay?” I wave my hand in a keep going motion.

“Do you not know how these things work?”

“Not really. Don’t you just pee on it?”

“You have to wait two minutes for the results.”

“Oh.”

It’s the longest two minutes of my life. My heavy footsteps echo as I pace the tile back and forth. Arella remains at the sink, watching the four sticks intently. I can barely contain myself.

“Are they done now?” I ask like an impatient child.

“Yeah.”

I rush to the sink. What the hell? It’s just a bunch of lines. “What do they say?”

“They’re all positive.”

“What’s that mean? You’re positively pregnant or you’re positively not pregnant?”

She chuckles, making me feel stupid. “Positively pregnant.”