Page 34 of Ordinary Secrets (Secrets Trilogy #1)

34

TREY

To my ears, the hospital is quiet. To my head, it’s a madhouse of insanity. Sadness, fear, anxiety, dread—it’s all here, clawing at me to feel what everyone else feels. I can’t shut it off. I can’t even tone it down. I’m too tense to control my mind power.

“Where is she?” I ask the woman stationed behind the first desk I can find on floor two.

She looks up at me from behind a pair of sparkly pink eyeglasses. The name badge clipped to her chest reads: Sara Benson, RN.

“You must be Trey Grant.”

“Yes. Where is she?” I sound rude and impatient, but I can’t help it. I won’t be okay until I see Arella again.

The woman doesn’t seem to care that I’m on a one-track train going three hundred miles an hour toward one goal and one goal only. “Wow. You got here quick. Do you live nearby?”

Not at all. I probably broke at least sixteen laws with my motorcycle coming here as I weaved between cars and ran stop lights. “Where. Is. She?” That’s the third time I’ve asked, and I’m not asking again.

“Look, I understand you’re probably scared right now, but don’t worry. She’s fine.” Sara smiles as if to soothe me. “Just calm down, and take a deep breath.”

I hate when people tell me to calm down. It only irritates me more. Still, I obey her and suck in a deep breath. It does nothing to settle me.

“Great. I’ll go grab Dr. Jordan. He’ll meet you in the family waiting room.” She points toward an open room down the hall with a kiddie table and chairs. “In the meantime, could you check in?” She hands me a clipboard.

I sign the damn paper, then slap a sticker with my name on it against my upper chest. Then I force my body into the family waiting room. It’s small and smells of musty carpet and old shoes. In the corner, a little TV plays an animated movie at a low volume. A large round table sits in the opposite corner with an unfinished puzzle scattered on top.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. It’s Victor again. I don’t want to be in the middle of a conversation with him when the doctor comes, so I let it go to voicemail.

All my nails are chewed down when I finally hear, “Mr. Grant?”

A tall man with rich bronze skin and graying hair appears in the doorway. My zense activates as he offers me the knowing smile that Zordis do whenever we first meet another of our kind. “I’m Doctor Jordan. Thanks for coming so quickly.”

I don’t return his smile. “What happened?”

The doctor places a pen into the chest pocket of his scrubs, sighing. “Miss Rance was in a car accident.”

My knees almost give out. A car accident?

The doctor throws his palms up. “She’s fine. Just whiplash, a few stitches, and some bruises.”

Whiplash? Stitches? Bruises? My brain can’t comprehend what any of those words mean when it comes to Arella. How can this man talk about all of that as if it’s normal?

“Can I see her?” My voice comes out broken like the way my chest feels.

“I’m sorry. You’ll need to wait until she’s done testing.”

“I can’t just see her?”

“Not while she’s going through an MRI.”

The little patience I have left snaps as I growl, “How long is that gonna take?”

“Maybe an hour. Two at most.”

Two hours? My heart can’t take another minute of this. “What caused the accident?”

“A car T-boned her at an intersection and fled the scene.”

I plop into the closest chair. The doctor continues, but my mind doesn’t process it. All I hear is blah, blah, blah.

When Dr. Jordan leaves, the tingling in my chest leaves with him. I barely get a moment to myself before that same nurse knocks on the doorframe.

“Could I get you anything? Coffee? Tea? A snack?” Sara’s got that pointless smile glued to her face again.

“No, thank you,” I reply blankly as I stare aimlessly at the TV.

“If you wanna pass some time, there’s a gift shop downstairs.”

“Thanks.”

Twenty minutes later, I pace the hospital with a large gift bag in hand, trying to pull myself together. They said she’s fine. I shouldn’t be so worried. But if she’s fine, why does she need MRI scans? And stitches? What if she’s not fine, and they lied to me to prevent me from freaking the fuck out and tearing this place apart until I find her? If I don’t see my girl soon, I might do just that.

A person in the room at the end of the hall has five miserable people surrounding them. All their feelings of despair are drowning out the emotions of everyone else in the hospital. I do my best to channel my mind power toward Sara, who seems to be the only one around who’s spirit isn’t dying inside. The most that does is lower everyone else’s murky energy to a constant whisper—a loud whisper.

Eventually, I hide in the stairwell to call Liz. She’ll have something good to say. She always does.

Liz answers on the first ring. “What’s wrong?”

“What? Are you a Seer now too?”

“You never call me, and this is the second time you’ve called me today after you abruptly left our writing session looking like you caught a zirus. So, what’s wrong?”

I pound my forehead against the wall. It echoes in the stairwell. “It’s Arella. She...” I can’t even say it without choking up. “She was in a car accident.”

Liz gasps. “How bad is the damage? To her, obviously, not the car.”

“The doctor said she’s okay. I haven’t confirmed it yet since I haven’t seen her. She’s going through some bullshit MRI thing that takes forever.” I still don’t understand what the point of an MRI is when she’s “fine.”

“Oh, T. I’m so sorry. What can I do for you?”

I sigh deeply, trying my best not to lose it. “Just talk to me. I hate hospitals.”

“Yeah, that’s not the best place for you, is it?”

“I’m getting a headache.” Actually, my head pounds as if little elves are chopping wood in my brain while listening to heavy metal. The only good thing is that the nausea has simmered down and my arms don’t feel numb anymore. Which reminds me... “Liz, I need to tell you something, and it’s gonna sound crazy.”

“Okay?”

“I—I felt it.”

There’s a long pause, and I picture Liz’s eyebrows creasing together. “Felt what?”

“That sensation Zordis talk about. I knew that something was wrong with Arella. My body knew. My stomach wouldn’t stop whipping around, and there’s this constant burning in my chest.”

“That’s not possible, T. We only feel the glimmer with our soul mates.”

I know that. That’s why this doesn’t make any sense. “Well... maybe, I dunno. Maybe Arella?—”

“Stop. I know what you’re about to say, and there’s no chance. She’s an Ordi.”

“I know, but here’s the thing. Today is not the first time I felt it. It happened last week too. I thought it was just a coincidence, so I brushed it off. I’ve always thought the glimmer was just some stupid thing Zordis made up to put claim on each other—until I felt it again today. I mean, I dunno. Maybe it was a coincidence, but it doesn’t feel like it.”

“Hmm...” is all Liz says. The call goes silent for a moment before she continues, “Ya know, if you think Ari could be your soul mate, that means you’re in love with her.”

I don’t respond. I don’t know how to.

Liz presses on. “Are you?”

In the depths of my soul, I know the answer. I inhale a few breaths of courage before I’m able to admit it out loud. “Yes, I am.”

Liz perks up, and I hear her grinning through the phone. “Ah! I’ve been waiting for you to fall in love for years. I never thought it’d be with an Ordi though. I mean, do you know how outrageous that sounds?”

I slump onto the bottom step of the stairs and shove my face into my hand. “I know it’s bizarre, but it doesn’t feel that way.”

“I agree.”

I don’t hide my shock. “You do?”

“Yeah. I’ve said it before, T. That girl is perfect for you, except for the one thing. If you haven’t noticed, I’ve stopped giving you shit for being with her, ’cause you light up whenever she’s around. Lately, the lyrics you’ve been writing aren’t as dark, and your smiles look genuine. I’ve never seen you so happy. I wasn’t about to keep nagging at you for being happy, no matter how strange and illegal it is.”

As always, Liz is right. Arella does make me the happiest I’ve ever been. For my best friend to have recognized that and encouraged it, even when she believes it’s wrong, means a ton. I already thought Liz deserves the world. Now I think she deserves the entire universe.

“What should I do?” I ask, unsure what exactly I’m referring to. I need advice on a lot of things right now.

“Have you told her?”

“Told her what?”

Liz scoffs with a duh tone. “That you’re in love with her.”

“Considering how I only admitted it to myself for the first time just now, no.”

“Do you know if she feels the same?”

“I can’t sense her, so I dunno.” I’m still trying to process the idea that I’m in love with someone. The concept that someone might feel the same for me is even harder to swallow.

“Seriously, T? You rely on your Empath power way too much. You need to tell her.”

“How?”

“I dunno. Just tell her.”

Admitting that I’m in love with Arella is one thing. Now I have to tell her, too? Since when was that a rule? “What will that accomplish?”

“I dunno. I just think it’s important for you to verbalize this to her.”

“Okay, then what?”

“Then, well... that’s where it gets difficult, doesn’t it? It’s not like the Superiors are gonna allow you to have this relationship just ’cause you’re in love. They’ll still lock you up if they find out. In court, they’ll ask you about intent to determine if they should put you behind bars or in an asylum.

“In your case, I’ma guess the asylum. The second you tell ’em you felt the glimmer with an Ordinary, it’ll be case closed. Bam! Next thing you know, you’re sitting in a room with a bunch of weirdos who eat their own toenails and?—”

“Liz.”

“Oh, sorry. I’m not helping, am I?”

Not a fucking bit. “Not really . . .”

“Okay, how ’bout I stop over at the hospital? Would that help?”

“Yes, actually. If they discharge Arella tonight, could you drive her to my place? I rode the bike here.”

“Sure. Text me the address. I’ll come now.”

Almost an hour later, Liz strolls through the sliding glass doors with a brown paper bag.

“What’s that?” I ask as my chest tingles.

“Tacos!” She beams. “Grabbed some on the way over. I figured you probably hadn’t eaten yet.”

My belly rumbles from the delicious scent of food wafting from the bag. I don’t know what to say. This woman never stops wowing me. I heave her in by the shoulder and snake my arms around her. Then I squeeze her as hard as I can. Her warmth washes away a bit of the stress I’ve been carrying.

Liz coughs. “Stop, T. I’m gonna drop these tacos if you keep suffocating me.”

I release her. “Sorry. I’m just so fucking grateful for you.”

“As you should be. No one else would ever put up with your shit.” She leans into me and lowers her voice. “I mean, seriously, any other Zordi would be calling to get you into rehab right now. Your obsession with Ari is still a little wacky to me, but I trust that you, of all people, know that your feelings for her are real.”

“They are,” I say with full conviction. “Speaking of other Zordis, her doctor is one.”

Liz clasps a gloved hand to her mouth. “Oh no. Does he know you’re dating Ari?”

I shrug.

“Do you think he’s gonna call the Supes?”

Another shrug. “I hope not. I’ve been too worried about Arella to even think about that.”

“I’ll back you up. I’ll say you two are just friends.”

I let out a light scoff. “Like they’re gonna listen to you.”

She puts a fist up. “I’ll make ’em!”

Liz checks in and gets a name sticker from Sara, and then we head into the waiting room. There’s a different kid’s movie playing on the TV now. On the table, I push the unfinished puzzle aside to give us space to eat our tacos.

Between bites, Liz asks, “Do you think it’s possible that she’s one of us?”

With my mouth full, I say, “No, why?”

“Because I don’t think you have a mental condition. Crazy people don’t think they’re crazy, and you’ve admitted that this thing you have for Ari is bizarre. Yeah, you like to sleep around with Ordis, but I think that has more to do with your past and your gifts than having an actual attraction to them. But to fall in love with one? And to experience the glimmer? I doubt that’s stemming from your trauma. There’s gotta be another explanation, and the only one I can think of is that Ari’s one of us. What if immunity is her power? What if her immunity is what blocks us from feeling the zense around her?”

Wow. That’s a lot to take in. “First off, my past? My trauma? How does that have anything to do with why I’m willing to sleep with Ordinaries?”

Liz eyes me, lifting an eyebrow. “Do you really wanna unpack that right now?”

I’m about to say yes because I want to hear her explanation, but now, I’m not so sure. I’ve got a feeling she’s gonna say things I won’t like.

“I’ll give you a hint. It has to do with your low self-worth, what you think you deserve, and how your past affects that.”

Yeah, I don’t wanna hear any more. I clear my throat. “Moving on...”

After I chew down the rest of my first taco, I lean back in my chair. “The idea that Arella is a Zordi has crossed my mind. I did some research on it over the z-net a while ago, and the closest ability I could find to her immunity is force fields. Even then, Blockers can only block external powers, and Arella’s immunity seems to only block the internal ones.

“Also, those Zordis can’t block the zense. According to the z-net, nothing can. If Arella was a Zordi and didn’t know it, she’d feel the tingle around us, and I don’t think she does. Plus, she doesn’t have any other powers.”

Liz finishes the taco she’s working on as she thinks. “Maybe she’s defective, and that’s what causes her body to not feel the zense or have any other powers?” Liz is doing what I did before: looking for any possible cause that could explain the anomaly that is Arella. I’ve stopped trying to explain the unexplainable. It didn’t amount to anything.

I pick up another taco and bite into it. “The correct term is restricted , not defective. Zordis with complications in their gifts get offended when people call them defective.”

“I know, but my family calls me defective all the time, and it’s true, so why correct them?”

This isn’t the first time Liz has called herself defective, and I hate it. In the Zordi world where everyone’s born with three powerful gifts and natural beauty, having anything wrong with you results in immediate disownment. Liz’s family is no exception, and it’s part of the reason why I will forever stick by this woman’s side.

I scowl at her. “You’re not defective. Your body power works—just not in a way you’d like it to.”

“You know, you’re the only one who ever gets mad at me for calling myself defective. Everyone else just agrees.”

I shake my head, sighing. The Zordi community needs to do better. “Anyway, if Arella is one of us, then explain how she gets cold all the time? Or how she sweats when she’s hot?”

Liz bites into her second taco. “Hmm. Good point. With our bodies’ natural equilibrium, it’s not possible for us to sweat.”

“Exactly. Also, Arella sleeps every night. She even has dreams and nightmares. She doesn’t heal as fast as we can. She can’t see as far as we can, either. The other day, while in the car, I asked her if she could read a sign way down the road. While I could read it perfectly, she could barely see it.”

After wiping her mouth off with a napkin, Liz says, “Ya know, I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to have dreams or Ordinary vision. Once, I Googled what Ordinaries see when they take off their glasses. Did you know that some of their eyes are so bad, they can barely make out shapes or colors?”

“Yeah, I knew that.”

A knock on the doorframe causes Liz to jolt.

“Sorry!” Sara giggles. “Just wanted to let you know she’s done. You’re welcome to see her now.”

I shoot out of my chair before the nurse even finishes her sentence. Liz and I follow her down the hall and around a corner before stopping at a closed door. I don’t sense anyone on the other side, so it must be Arella.

Sara turns to us. “Maybe just one at a time?”

Liz steps back and gestures for me to go first. With my giant gift bag in hand, I enter the small hospital room. Sara quietly shuts the door behind me.

The square room is dimly lit and smells of disinfectant. My girl is propped up on the bed in a light-blue gown, wearing a neck brace that looks like it’s suffocating her. Cords are tangled around her body in every direction, hooked up to machines that do who knows what.

I’d do anything to take her place. I’d go through a thousand car accidents if it means she’d never have to go through another one again.

“Trey.” Her voice cracks, sounding weak and fragile. I want so badly to hold her until the pain is gone.

After setting the gift bag down, I slide a chair closer to her bedside and sit. Then I take her hand and squeeze it between both of mine. Once again, I draw strength from her touch. A tiny beam of light shines into me, erasing some of the darkness in my chest.

“Hey, beautiful.”

She lets out a little pfft . “I doubt I look that beautiful right now.”

“You’ll always look beautiful to me.” I mean that with all my heart.

This catastrophe only confirms how much of a wreck I’d be if something ever happened to her. Silently, I vow to myself to never let anything else happen.

With a smile, Arella turns her head to fully face me. The stitches on her lip flash me back to when my mother’s lip was cut. She had blood dripping down every curve of her face. Her screams echo in my mind as that big man drags her away from me to pound his fist into her head. I should have protected her, like I should have protected Arella.

A pang of nausea hits me hard, except this time, it’s not from the glimmer. I swallow thickly, trying to keep it down.

“What’s in the bag?” Arella asks.

“Something for you.” The bag crinkles as I pull out a big purple teddy bear.

Her eyes light up as she accepts it from me. “Awe. It’s adorable! Thank you.”

My phone vibrates in my jeans. It’s Victor—again. What the fuck does he need so badly? This is the worst time to be calling. I don’t want to leave Arella, but in all my twenty-six years, Victor has never been this insistent about reaching me.

“I’ll be back, angel,” I say as I step away. I gesture for Liz to enter the room as I head down the hall to answer my phone. “Hello?”

As always, Victor sounds snippy. “Are you with the girl?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Any updates?”

“No.” I could tell him that the very person we need alive for any of this to work almost died today, but she didn’t, so that information isn’t relevant.

“Seriously? Have you been able to sense any emotions from her?”

“Nope,” I lie again.

“Not a single one?”

“Nope.”

“Hmm. We’ll have to try something else.”

I enter the stairwell as my heart clenches. “What do you mean?”

“These tests aren’t working.”

Something inside me flips into panic mode. Careful to keep my tone steady, I ask, “What tests?”

“You know... the flu, the spiders, the truck.”

I stop breathing as everything clicks together. I try to sound less angry and more surprised. “Wait, all of those things happened to her... because of you?”

“Weakening her immune system. Invoking trauma, then a near-death experience. Since you’re taking so long to get results, I thought we’d do some testing in the meantime. Our team thought lowering her natural defenses or raising an extreme emotion in her would do the trick. If we can get you to sense her when she’s most vulnerable or when her emotions are at their highest, maybe we can find out the source of her im?—”

“Why wasn’t I informed of this?” I can barely contain myself through gritted teeth. “You could have killed her.”

“Are you questioning my methods? Everything was highly controlled. The flu was a minor one, those spiders weren’t poisonous, and the accident was thoroughly organized. I wouldn’t risk her life without having our best agents on it. Also, I made sure she was sent to a hospital where one of our ZIRDA doctors is stationed. He’s already sent me the reports from her MRI scan, and we’ll cross-reference it with the others. She’s completely safe.”

Safe? Is he fucking kidding? I just saw her in a neck brace. It takes everything in me not to curse at him. I need to get off this call before I say something I shouldn’t.

“Do you have any other tests planned?” I ask, trying my hardest to keep my tone stable.

“Yes, actually, and they involve you, but they need to be performed here. When can you bring her in?”

Never! He’s insane if he thinks I’m going to allow him to breathe around Arella after he killed the last two Immunes. Over my dead body. “I can’t convince her into a road trip now that she’s in a neck brace.”

“Why not?”

“Trust me. I know this woman. She’s gonna wanna rest up. If I push her into it, she’ll be more hesitant to do it. How about we wait until she’s fully healed first?”

In the background, a spoon clinks against a mug. Victor takes a sip of the liquid. “When will she be out of the neck brace? A week?”

“At least two.” I have no idea how long it’ll be. I just need to buy some time. “Also, it’ll be important for me to meet her grandparents first. They could give me some insight into something that may have happened to her when she was young that she doesn’t remember.”

“Fine. Meet them within the week and report back.” Click.

Pulling at my hair, I collapse to the dusty floor.

This can’t be happening.