Page 24 of Ordinary Secrets (Secrets Trilogy #1)

24

TREY

I’m pretty sure my parents hid this so-called safe house on another planet. I’ve gone back to Julian several times over the last two weeks. With all the holes I’ve dug, earth I’ve moved, and for as many times as I’ve stomped on the ground looking for a trapdoor, I haven’t found anything that remotely suggests there’s a safe house nearby.

I’m in the middle of doing research on underground living spaces when my phone buzzes. It’s a text from Arella that makes my face contort.

I’m not sure if you should come over today. I’m sick.

What? Her daily texts usually start with “Good morning, honey!” and “Did you have sweet dreams?” Even though Zordis can’t dream, I always say that I dreamt of her. Where are those texts?

I’m coming over anyway.

Are you sure? I have the flu. It’s highly contagious.

Positive. I’ll see you soon.

The Ordinary flu isn’t gonna stop me from seeing my girl, especially not on a Sunday. I don’t get to see Arella for long on Fridays or Saturdays due to the nature of my work. Last night, she, Javina, and Javina’s girlfriend came out to my band’s show. I got to see them during the meet and greet for a bit, but I didn’t get to have Arella alone. Sundays are precious to me.

I’ve got grocery bags dangling from my arms as I knock on Arella’s door. She answers in pajama shorts and a baggy hoodie— my hoodie. Seeing her in it will never get old.

“Morning, angel,” I say with a smile. “I brought you stuff to make you feel better.”

“Yay!” She props the door open for me to enter.

For a while there, I thought maybe she was using the sick thing as an excuse not to see me. Now that I’ve seen her smile, it’s clear she secretly wanted me to come over.

I rush in and place the bags on her kitchen counter. Then I hurry to greet my girl properly. Taking her by the waist, I lean in to kiss her.

She turns away, covering her mouth with a palm. “I have the flu!”

“Does it look like I give two shits?” I peck her forehead, then leave her to unpack the bags.

For the rest of the day, I make her soup, and we keep busy with card games and movies. During the second movie, I get her down to her panties as I massage her back, and well... we end up doing other things.

Even with her stuffy nose, the way she moans as I suck her nipples makes my cock hard. She clenches her hands in my hair as I kiss my way down her belly. Because my shirt is somewhere on the floor, I get the pleasure of feeling her skin on mine.

She’s been good about stopping me whenever she feels like we’re going outside of her comfort zone. I’ve been good about not pressuring her. The second she says stop , I stop. It’s not only because I don’t want to ruin this mission by breaking her trust, either. I have this deep need to show her that a man can be good to her. Arella deserves to be treated like a queen, and I’m enjoying being the one to do it.

With a finger hooked through her panties, I slowly tug them down, waiting for her to stop me. Instead of grabbing my wrist like she has been, she pulls her legs out of the fabric. I don’t let the shock stop me as I marvel at the sight of her fully naked for the first time. It takes everything in me to not collapse my mouth against her clit and lap my tongue over it right now. I don’t, because I’m afraid that if I go too fast, she’ll shut down. If I take things slowly, she’ll have the opportunity to stop me if she wants to. Hopefully, she doesn’t want to.

Tenderly, I kiss her inner thighs. She squirms and runs her fingers through my hair. I get harder as her nails dig into my scalp and I take two perfect handfuls of her breasts. Between my thumbs and index fingers, I roll her nipples around. She tells me she likes this by arching her head back with a sexy moan. I need to hear her make more of those sounds.

On my way up her thighs, I pepper lingering kisses until I reach what I’m after. I hover there for a second to see if she’ll stop me. When she doesn’t, I go for it. She gasps sharply when my mouth presses against her clit. At first, I go slow, taking in how soft she feels against my tongue. I go in circles, then side to side. Once she gets used to me, her body melts beneath me.

I wish I could sense her. I wish I could feel everything she’s feeling right now. I want to know how good it is for her without having to focus on her moans and watch her every move. Without my gift, I’m constantly second-guessing myself.

I keep asking for verbal confirmation. “How’s that, baby? Do you like it better like this? Want it harder?”

Her answers come out in breathy yeses and a guttural “Just keep going.”

I do. I lick and suck her clit until she cries out my name, and I watch her fall apart with a scream. I don’t even know she’s coming until I see it on her face. I’ve never not known before. Every time I’ve made a woman orgasm, I could always sense it building inside her.

Not sensing Arella’s climax but seeing it happen is surprisingly still as hot. Maybe a little hotter, because now, I know I can do that to a woman without the help of my gift. Plus, it’s Arella. She’s the hottest woman I know. My mind can’t even comprehend it because she’s an Ordi. I shouldn’t be this attracted to her, yet here I am, craving to kiss every part of her body.

Lately, Arella’s been consuming my thoughts. She’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing on my mind when I fall asleep. During the long boring hours when I’m not with her, I wish I were, and it’s not because I should be for the mission. I just miss her company. Her presence eases me in ways I can’t explain.

When I feel anxious, her touch settles it. If a bad memory creeps through my mind, her smile erases it. I always feel lonely in my big empty house, but when she’s around, my house feels full and lively.

When I’m with her, I don’t feel like I have to put on a show like I do with other people. I don’t have to act tough or pretend like I know everything, because Arella’s not the type who likes that shit. Around her, I can simply be me.

I told her that I saw my parents get blown up, and not once did she give me a look of pity. I like how she treats me like I’m strong instead of someone who needs to be fixed. I know I need fixing. Liz has made that clear. The difference is that Arella seems to be fixing me without making me feel like I’m broken. She’s doing it simply by the way she laughs at my lame jokes and the way she spends time with me without expecting anything in return.

Not sex.

Not money.

Not a performance.

Not a “better version of me” that she knows “exists under the fistfights.”

Arella just wants me, and that seems to be enough for her. I’ve never had that before.

“Your turn,” she says, still panting from her climax.

I chuckle, then hop off the bed in search of my shirt. I find it on the floor across her bedroom and slip it over my head.

Arella dips her eyebrows at me. “What?”

“What, what?”

“I said it’s your turn.”

I give her a firm shake of my head. “Don’t think so, babe.”

“Why not?”

“Are you ready for me to be inside you?”

The way she hesitates tells me all I need to know. “We don’t have to do that. I can just do to you what you did to me.”

“Nope. Can’t. Thanks for the offer though.” I can’t remember the last time I turned down a blow job—don’t think I ever have.

She side-eyes me, smirking. “Are you afraid that I’ll see how small you are and break up with you?”

I let out a loud ha! and laugh deep from my chest. “Is that what you think?”

“Why else would a man who’s had a plethora of one-night stands refuse to let me into his pants three weeks into the relationship?”

Three weeks? Is that it? It feels like I’ve been with her longer. She’s probably counting it from the night we made things official, not the day we met six weeks ago.

“Trust me, baby. I want nothing more than for your lips to be around my cock, but I can’t because it won’t be enough. I’ll want to fuck you properly, which means you’ll be sore and screaming my name. You’re not ready for that yet, so it’s better if we play it safe. I can take care of myself when I get home, where I won’t be tempted to cross any lines.”

She gets this look on her face that I don’t recognize. It’s a mix of astonishment and something else. Before I know it, she’s got me pinned to the bed and is attacking me with kisses. I’m a willing victim.

A feeling of warmth and light fills my chest. The only word I can think of to describe it is happiness . That’s only half of it though. There’s something else there that’s making my stomach tighten into knots of bliss and panic all at the same time.

Arella pants as she draws back. “You’re the best boyfriend ever, you know that?”

Her compliment warms and breaks me. I’m enjoying being her boyfriend. Unfortunately, this boyfriend-girlfriend thing is only temporary. In time, our relationship will come to an end. What then? Will she find a new boyfriend? Will she tell him that he’s the best, too?

What happens to me? What will I do without her? What did I ever do before Arella? Lounge around? Drink excessively? Have meaningless sex? None of that sounds appealing anymore.

The idea of Arella with someone else sounds even more unappealing. I want her to be with me . I want her best to be me .

Internally, I slap myself. Things between Arella and me can’t be like this forever. At the end of the day, she’s still an Ordinary and it’s illegal for me to be with her.

Besides, this relationship isn’t real. Arella doesn’t know that though, so of course, to her, this is real. To me, even though I know it’s not, it feels real. Like when we hold hands and I get a sense of ease and joy. That feels real. The way she cups my face and makes the pain wash away. That feels real. How hard it is to let her go when we have our late evenings, making out against her apartment door. That feels real.

Does that mean what we have is... real? How is that possible? Maybe pretending to want her has tricked my mind into actually wanting her. Even so, that doesn’t change that my body physically yearns for her whenever we’re apart.

“Can I ask you something?” Arella asks as she slides off the bed to retrieve her clothes.

I would help, but all of a sudden, my mind feels foggy, and it’s getting hard to breathe. My thoughts are consuming me.

“Trey?”

Shit. I haven’t answered her yet. “Yeah, babe, what’s up?”

“Maybe this is something we should have established three weeks ago, but I’ve been wondering... what do you want to get out of this relationship?”

“What do you want to get?”

Dressed now, she blows her runny nose into a tissue as she scowls at me. “I hate when you do that.”

“Do what?”

“Answer a question with a question. You do it whenever you don’t want to give someone a straight answer.”

I won’t deny that the second she asked that question, my throat closed up. My gut reaction was to ask her the same thing to avoid answering it.

I repeat her question in my head and actually think about it this time. What do I want to get out of this relationship?

A month ago, my answer would have been simple: I want information about her that will explain her immunity. Now, I think I want more, but I can’t have that. We’re from two separate worlds. Worlds that coexist but aren’t meant to fully intertwine.

I stand to hug her because it’ll ease the heaviness growing in my chest. Also, I can’t take her looking into my eyes anymore.

I plant a soft kiss against her forehead. “What I want is more time with you.”

It’s the most honest answer I can give her because I’m so torn. We’re like different species of the same animal family. Like how lions and cheetahs are felines with different genetic makeups. They aren’t meant to be together, and neither are Zordinaries and Ordinaries. It’s unnatural. Except, the way Arella and I are together feels more natural than blinking. Everything from the way she fits against my body to the way she looks at me to the way she says my name.

The more I think about it, the more my feelings get jumbled up.

Feelings... something I know so much about, yet so little.