Page 37
Story: Orders and Obsessions
“Mason?” I looked at her more closely. “The commander is the name of the man who has been taking care of your baby.”
“What!” I sat up and gasped for air.
“Riley?” I saw Mason in the corner, holding a small blue bundle in his arms. “You’re fine, Riley. You’re really high right now and you’re going in and out of consciousness.”
I pushed out in a hoarse voice, “The commander?”
“He’s not here; I wouldn’t let him near us. Shhh, look.” He whispered as he moved closer to my bed and lowered his arms so I could see my baby’s face.
He carefully put him in my arms. This little baby had tubes in his nose and fine, dark hair on his head. He was the best.
I began to cry.
I pointed out the sweetest parts of him and said, “He looks like you.” His button nose, the way his face looked like it was blowing in the wind, and the way his eyelashes fluttered with his dreams.
Mason said, “He looks like you; he’s a mix of us both.” I laughed.
“His face looks like a prune.” It was almost too big for him, and it was all wrinkled and new. I wanted to smother him with love because he smelt like a baby.
“We can only hold him for an hour, but he’s doing well and is strong. He has to stay in his incubator cot.”
“He doesn’t have a name.” After meeting him and learning about everything he’s been through, a name seemed very important. He ought to have a name.
“Yeah, he does, Riley.” Mason looked a little nervous and chewed on his lip a little. “They wanted to know what to call him, and you’ve been awake and asleep for two days. I named him Eddie because it means strong, and he is.”
I looked down at my lovely little boy and smiled. I think my happiness was so bright that people on the other side of the world could see it.
“Hi Eddie, I’m your mum, and I’m going to take great care of you. You’ll have a lot of toys, a lot of friends, and a lot of people who love you very much.”
I looked up at Mason and saw that he was watching me closely, his eyes full of love for his new little family.
“I can already tell that your daddy is going to be very protective of you because he loves you so much. But don’t worry, I’ll help him with his people skills so he doesn’t scare away people who want to get close to you.”
Mason asked, “Aren’t you scared?” with real interest. “Doesn’t it scare you that we are in charge of his whole life?”
“Of course I’m scared, but I’ve already built the foundations. I love him, so I’ll just go from there.”
He was quiet, lost in his own thoughts.
“What if I’m not good enough to be a father?” The doubts that his father put in his head were clearly bothering him. “What if I let him down or don’t meet his expectations?”
“Don’t listen to those bad thoughts; they are spoken in your father’s voice, Mason. You will be the best father.
He abused and manipulated you mentally your whole life, but now you can break that cycle. You can learn from our son that you are enough and always have been.
He nodded, and it was clear that he was holding back a lot of feelings. I think his eyes were full of tears that he wouldn’t let fall.
“Yes, I hope so.” That was all he could say, and he said it in a broken voice. “Please let me put him back in his cot so he doesn’t get cold.”
He put him back in his incubator and held his small hand through the holes in his cot. Mason’s hand was so big and strong compared to his junior’s that it was almost funny.
“Are you sure you want to leave your job as Lieutenant?”
I was scared to hear what he had to say. Mason has only ever known how to be a lieutenant, live on the bootcamp, and give orders. He was thrown into the deep end without a paddle all of a sudden.
In a split second, his life changed into something he wouldn’t be able to recognise. A father, a partner, living in the suburbs somewhere. I knew that he would have to make a lot of changes to give us the life he promised.
“Not at all. I don’t regret becoming a father, I don’t doubt my choice to leave my job, and I want to share my life with you more than anything else.”
He kissed me softly and pushed my hair back from my forehead.
“That ring, my mother’s ring, should be on your finger, Riley.”
I smiled more because I had never felt so complete, happy, and stable in my life as I did right now.
I was always a loose cannon, and no rules or even the law could stop me. I was just a criminal on a path of destruction.
He was the Lieutenant, ruining himself to fit someone else’s idea of perfect, but he never felt good enough.
Who would have thought that those two things that are so different would fit together so well?
It was easy for us to plan: we would raise Eddie at boot camp until my sentence was up, and then we would leave without looking back.
Just the three of us—the criminal, the lieutenant, and our beautiful baby boy—start over somewhere else.
Together, we march on.
“What!” I sat up and gasped for air.
“Riley?” I saw Mason in the corner, holding a small blue bundle in his arms. “You’re fine, Riley. You’re really high right now and you’re going in and out of consciousness.”
I pushed out in a hoarse voice, “The commander?”
“He’s not here; I wouldn’t let him near us. Shhh, look.” He whispered as he moved closer to my bed and lowered his arms so I could see my baby’s face.
He carefully put him in my arms. This little baby had tubes in his nose and fine, dark hair on his head. He was the best.
I began to cry.
I pointed out the sweetest parts of him and said, “He looks like you.” His button nose, the way his face looked like it was blowing in the wind, and the way his eyelashes fluttered with his dreams.
Mason said, “He looks like you; he’s a mix of us both.” I laughed.
“His face looks like a prune.” It was almost too big for him, and it was all wrinkled and new. I wanted to smother him with love because he smelt like a baby.
“We can only hold him for an hour, but he’s doing well and is strong. He has to stay in his incubator cot.”
“He doesn’t have a name.” After meeting him and learning about everything he’s been through, a name seemed very important. He ought to have a name.
“Yeah, he does, Riley.” Mason looked a little nervous and chewed on his lip a little. “They wanted to know what to call him, and you’ve been awake and asleep for two days. I named him Eddie because it means strong, and he is.”
I looked down at my lovely little boy and smiled. I think my happiness was so bright that people on the other side of the world could see it.
“Hi Eddie, I’m your mum, and I’m going to take great care of you. You’ll have a lot of toys, a lot of friends, and a lot of people who love you very much.”
I looked up at Mason and saw that he was watching me closely, his eyes full of love for his new little family.
“I can already tell that your daddy is going to be very protective of you because he loves you so much. But don’t worry, I’ll help him with his people skills so he doesn’t scare away people who want to get close to you.”
Mason asked, “Aren’t you scared?” with real interest. “Doesn’t it scare you that we are in charge of his whole life?”
“Of course I’m scared, but I’ve already built the foundations. I love him, so I’ll just go from there.”
He was quiet, lost in his own thoughts.
“What if I’m not good enough to be a father?” The doubts that his father put in his head were clearly bothering him. “What if I let him down or don’t meet his expectations?”
“Don’t listen to those bad thoughts; they are spoken in your father’s voice, Mason. You will be the best father.
He abused and manipulated you mentally your whole life, but now you can break that cycle. You can learn from our son that you are enough and always have been.
He nodded, and it was clear that he was holding back a lot of feelings. I think his eyes were full of tears that he wouldn’t let fall.
“Yes, I hope so.” That was all he could say, and he said it in a broken voice. “Please let me put him back in his cot so he doesn’t get cold.”
He put him back in his incubator and held his small hand through the holes in his cot. Mason’s hand was so big and strong compared to his junior’s that it was almost funny.
“Are you sure you want to leave your job as Lieutenant?”
I was scared to hear what he had to say. Mason has only ever known how to be a lieutenant, live on the bootcamp, and give orders. He was thrown into the deep end without a paddle all of a sudden.
In a split second, his life changed into something he wouldn’t be able to recognise. A father, a partner, living in the suburbs somewhere. I knew that he would have to make a lot of changes to give us the life he promised.
“Not at all. I don’t regret becoming a father, I don’t doubt my choice to leave my job, and I want to share my life with you more than anything else.”
He kissed me softly and pushed my hair back from my forehead.
“That ring, my mother’s ring, should be on your finger, Riley.”
I smiled more because I had never felt so complete, happy, and stable in my life as I did right now.
I was always a loose cannon, and no rules or even the law could stop me. I was just a criminal on a path of destruction.
He was the Lieutenant, ruining himself to fit someone else’s idea of perfect, but he never felt good enough.
Who would have thought that those two things that are so different would fit together so well?
It was easy for us to plan: we would raise Eddie at boot camp until my sentence was up, and then we would leave without looking back.
Just the three of us—the criminal, the lieutenant, and our beautiful baby boy—start over somewhere else.
Together, we march on.