Page 16
Story: Orders and Obsessions
I sat down on the bed, but I almost missed it and fell to the floor. Sierra pushed my shoulder to get me to sit up straight.
I put on my combat boots and tied the laces.
“I would have liked heels better, but I don’t have any, so combat boots will have to do.” For the state I was in, I was able to say something that made sense. I hit my two booted feet together. “Are they shiny enough?” I asked.
Amber teased, “I don’t think he’s going to look at your shoes.”
I stood up straight again, or at least I thought I did. The whole room wasn’t, though; it swayed and spun.
“I’ll walk in there and tell him he’s earned twenty laps around my body.” Everyone laughed, even me.
“Riley, go to bed,” Amber said.
“No, I’m going to Mason. I’ll give you all a full report on his genitals tomorrow.” I nodded sternly and walked towards the door.
Sierra yelled, “Wait!”
She took a camouflage jacket off a hook on the wall and gave it to me.
“You can take it off in front of him for a big reveal. You’re going to need something to keep you warm when they send you away in the middle of the night.”
I put on the jacket, which came down to just below my b**t, and tied it closed in front.
“We love you, Riley, and we’re going to miss you. Stay safe in prison.” They shouted their goodbyes, and I opened the door, letting the cold night air hit my almost bare body.
I slowly made my way through the hedge, not caring too much about sneaking around the staff quarters. Then I found his small living space.
I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open with all my strength.
I walked in and saw that the whole room was dimly lit. I saw a few candles here and there.
He was sitting on his couch watching TV and wearing only sweatpants. His chest tattoo was clearly visible. I held back a smile.
“Riley what—” he started to say, but I found the edges of my jacket and very slowly pulled it open and dropped it to the floor.
He looked at my whole body really slowly, and his eyes sparkled. I could hear him gulp from across the room, and he tightened his grip on the remote. His eyes glazed over with desire, and I walked over to him, got his full attention, and sat on his lap with my legs spread out on either side of his.
He put his hands on my waist, and his dark brown eyes moved between my lips and mine. I put my mouth on his, and he hesitated for a moment before fully committing.
He tasted like everything that was off-limits, which made it even sweeter. In the candlelight, his hand moved up my back, gripping my skin. I thought his kiss would be demanding, but he let me take the lead. It was almost like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it, but he couldn’t help himself.
He pulled away and looked at me with scared eyes.
“You’re drunk,” he said in a flat voice.
“Shh.” I put my index finger on his lips. They felt warmer and fuller than Sierra’s had earlier. He raised his eyebrows and gave me his best scary look, but it didn’t work. He was at his most vulnerable right now, and no amount of fake emotions was going to make me forget that.
“God Riley!” He picked me up and put me down on the sofa, then stood up and looked through his drawers. “Why do you put me in these situations? You drive me crazy.” He threw me one of his T-shirts, and I just looked down at it with disapproval.
“You’re sending me away tomorrow. Can’t we just have tonight?” I looked at the bed, and he followed my gaze.
“No, you’re drunk. Put on the T-shirt. That’s an order.” I sighed and tightened my lips.
“So you’d f**k me if I weren’t drunk?” I asked, not following his order.
He simply said, “No.”
I got up, threw the T-shirt away, and walked over to him. I ran my hand down his chest and over his tattoo. It was an eagle flying with its wings spread wide, and it looked really cool. I could feel his heart rate go up and his chest move faster under my hand.
“Why?” I whispered, and the heat between us grew. He swallowed and looked straight ahead, not looking at me and keeping his eyes straight as if he were talking to someone of higher rank.
“Riley, please don’t do this. I can’t.” He whispered, and the desire in his voice was louder than most of his orders.
“Because of the vow?” I laughed and said no to the silly idea.
“Because you’re a recruit and I’m the lieutenant, it’s wrong. I can’t abuse my position of power.”
“Because you promised not to?”
“Whoever told you that, it’s not true unless you hear it from me.”
He stepped back and opened the fridge. The bright light shattered the illusion of calm that had been in the room. He took a sip from a bottle of water.
“I can’t get involved with the recruits. I never have and I never will. I’m flattered; you’re beautiful, but I can’t go there.” He took another sip.
I took the T-shirt and put it on, then lay down on his couch. I looked at the TV, which was now off, and thought about when he had done that.
“You watch TV?” He laughed at my random question.
“Of course I do.” He came over to me and sat down on the arm of the couch, probably to keep his distance from me.
I really wanted to know, so I asked, “What else do you do that normal people do?” “Do you eat?” He laughed again.
“I eat. I shower. I shit. I shave.” His whole face looked softer. I had never noticed how tense his shoulders were before, but now they were relaxed.
“Do you feel things that other people do?” I asked, and he frowned. “Are you sad?”
“Yes.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Yes.”
“Do you get turned on?”
Pause.
“Yes.”
“You hesitated,” I said with a smile.
“I don’t do anything about it when it happens, but I’ve learnt to keep it under control.”
“What—”
“God, why am I telling you this? You need to leave.” I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. He just looked at me with a blank look. I got up and walked to his bed, and he watched me carefully the whole time.
There wasn’t a single wrinkle in his sheets, and each edge was tucked in tightly.
I asked, “Is it okay if I take a short nap?” as I kicked off my boots and pulled back the duvet. He walked back and forth in the room.
He said, “No, it’s not,” but I had already gotten under the covers.
His bed was a lot more comfortable than mine. He had a mattress, but I only had springs. He had cotton sheets, but I had scratchy fibre. His bed smelt like him, fresh. I moved around to make my body comfortable and closed my eyes.
I put on my combat boots and tied the laces.
“I would have liked heels better, but I don’t have any, so combat boots will have to do.” For the state I was in, I was able to say something that made sense. I hit my two booted feet together. “Are they shiny enough?” I asked.
Amber teased, “I don’t think he’s going to look at your shoes.”
I stood up straight again, or at least I thought I did. The whole room wasn’t, though; it swayed and spun.
“I’ll walk in there and tell him he’s earned twenty laps around my body.” Everyone laughed, even me.
“Riley, go to bed,” Amber said.
“No, I’m going to Mason. I’ll give you all a full report on his genitals tomorrow.” I nodded sternly and walked towards the door.
Sierra yelled, “Wait!”
She took a camouflage jacket off a hook on the wall and gave it to me.
“You can take it off in front of him for a big reveal. You’re going to need something to keep you warm when they send you away in the middle of the night.”
I put on the jacket, which came down to just below my b**t, and tied it closed in front.
“We love you, Riley, and we’re going to miss you. Stay safe in prison.” They shouted their goodbyes, and I opened the door, letting the cold night air hit my almost bare body.
I slowly made my way through the hedge, not caring too much about sneaking around the staff quarters. Then I found his small living space.
I grabbed the door handle and pulled it open with all my strength.
I walked in and saw that the whole room was dimly lit. I saw a few candles here and there.
He was sitting on his couch watching TV and wearing only sweatpants. His chest tattoo was clearly visible. I held back a smile.
“Riley what—” he started to say, but I found the edges of my jacket and very slowly pulled it open and dropped it to the floor.
He looked at my whole body really slowly, and his eyes sparkled. I could hear him gulp from across the room, and he tightened his grip on the remote. His eyes glazed over with desire, and I walked over to him, got his full attention, and sat on his lap with my legs spread out on either side of his.
He put his hands on my waist, and his dark brown eyes moved between my lips and mine. I put my mouth on his, and he hesitated for a moment before fully committing.
He tasted like everything that was off-limits, which made it even sweeter. In the candlelight, his hand moved up my back, gripping my skin. I thought his kiss would be demanding, but he let me take the lead. It was almost like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go through with it, but he couldn’t help himself.
He pulled away and looked at me with scared eyes.
“You’re drunk,” he said in a flat voice.
“Shh.” I put my index finger on his lips. They felt warmer and fuller than Sierra’s had earlier. He raised his eyebrows and gave me his best scary look, but it didn’t work. He was at his most vulnerable right now, and no amount of fake emotions was going to make me forget that.
“God Riley!” He picked me up and put me down on the sofa, then stood up and looked through his drawers. “Why do you put me in these situations? You drive me crazy.” He threw me one of his T-shirts, and I just looked down at it with disapproval.
“You’re sending me away tomorrow. Can’t we just have tonight?” I looked at the bed, and he followed my gaze.
“No, you’re drunk. Put on the T-shirt. That’s an order.” I sighed and tightened my lips.
“So you’d f**k me if I weren’t drunk?” I asked, not following his order.
He simply said, “No.”
I got up, threw the T-shirt away, and walked over to him. I ran my hand down his chest and over his tattoo. It was an eagle flying with its wings spread wide, and it looked really cool. I could feel his heart rate go up and his chest move faster under my hand.
“Why?” I whispered, and the heat between us grew. He swallowed and looked straight ahead, not looking at me and keeping his eyes straight as if he were talking to someone of higher rank.
“Riley, please don’t do this. I can’t.” He whispered, and the desire in his voice was louder than most of his orders.
“Because of the vow?” I laughed and said no to the silly idea.
“Because you’re a recruit and I’m the lieutenant, it’s wrong. I can’t abuse my position of power.”
“Because you promised not to?”
“Whoever told you that, it’s not true unless you hear it from me.”
He stepped back and opened the fridge. The bright light shattered the illusion of calm that had been in the room. He took a sip from a bottle of water.
“I can’t get involved with the recruits. I never have and I never will. I’m flattered; you’re beautiful, but I can’t go there.” He took another sip.
I took the T-shirt and put it on, then lay down on his couch. I looked at the TV, which was now off, and thought about when he had done that.
“You watch TV?” He laughed at my random question.
“Of course I do.” He came over to me and sat down on the arm of the couch, probably to keep his distance from me.
I really wanted to know, so I asked, “What else do you do that normal people do?” “Do you eat?” He laughed again.
“I eat. I shower. I shit. I shave.” His whole face looked softer. I had never noticed how tense his shoulders were before, but now they were relaxed.
“Do you feel things that other people do?” I asked, and he frowned. “Are you sad?”
“Yes.”
“Are you jealous?”
“Yes.”
“Do you get turned on?”
Pause.
“Yes.”
“You hesitated,” I said with a smile.
“I don’t do anything about it when it happens, but I’ve learnt to keep it under control.”
“What—”
“God, why am I telling you this? You need to leave.” I laughed so hard that my stomach hurt. He just looked at me with a blank look. I got up and walked to his bed, and he watched me carefully the whole time.
There wasn’t a single wrinkle in his sheets, and each edge was tucked in tightly.
I asked, “Is it okay if I take a short nap?” as I kicked off my boots and pulled back the duvet. He walked back and forth in the room.
He said, “No, it’s not,” but I had already gotten under the covers.
His bed was a lot more comfortable than mine. He had a mattress, but I only had springs. He had cotton sheets, but I had scratchy fibre. His bed smelt like him, fresh. I moved around to make my body comfortable and closed my eyes.