Page 20

As more and more water filled the raft, I could feel it sinking deeper and deeper into the water. The force of the water then pushed the boat over, tipping us all the way into the lake. I came up and coughed out the water that had gotten into my lungs.
Mason asked, looking as serious as ever, “Are you okay?” I nodded and held on to a rock so I wouldn’t be swept away. “We’ll have to swim with the current; there’s a cave up ahead. Someone will come looking for us sooner or later.”
It was looking really nice to lay out in the sun on the riverbank right now.
We got to the cave quickly, and the swim wasn’t too hard because we were going with the current instead of against it.
I climbed up on the rocky bank and took off my wet, cold clothes. I laid them out in the sun to dry. He stood there awkwardly, not knowing where to look.
“There is room for yours,” I said.
“I can’t take my clothes off in front of you.” I rolled my eyes at how shy he was.
“Mason, we’ve really showered together.” He took off his boots and T-shirt and put them out in the sun.
“Not by choice, and I’m on duty.” He sat down on the floor and leaned against a big rock to try to get the water out of his army trousers.
“Where did you get that?” He ran his thumb over a scar just above my ankle. I took my foot away.
“Please don’t look at my body. It makes me feel bad about myself.” His eyebrows shot up and a smile spread across his face.
He asked, “You feel bad about your body?”
“Is that really so hard to believe?” I raised one eyebrow, daring him to answer carefully.
“Uhm, yes. You literally take off your clothes any chance you get. I’ve seen you naked more times than I’ve seen myself naked.” I started laughing at how much he was overdoing it.
“I don’t!” I said in my defence. “I didn’t know you took my shower while I was naked. I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t drunk the other day.”
“And now?” He moved his fingers over my body.
“Now I’m wet! I kept my pants on!” I said, pulling at the waistband of my pants. He looked at the entrance to the cave and asked, “How long do you think it will be before someone finds us?”
“Could take a while; boot camp doesn’t end until five.” I sighed and took the hair tie out of my hair to let the wet strands fall free.
“Can’t you just get on your walkie-talkie thing?” I pointed to his pants, where he usually kept it. I didn’t know if it would work after being in water, but it was worth a shot. But there was nothing in the slot, which made me look confused.
“I left it on the bank,” he said in a casual way.
I asked slowly, “You left it on the bank?” My lips curled at the edges.
“Well, I… uh… set it down and forgot to pick it back up before getting into the raft.” I bit my lip to keep from smiling too much. This was on purpose.
I stood up, walked over to him, and sat down on his lap. His eyes moved around my face, and they stayed on my lips longer than usual.
“What are you—” he started to say, but I kissed him softly on the lips, feeling the soft warmth of his two beautiful pink pillows. He sat perfectly still, not moving his lips or trying to kiss me back.
I pulled back to look at him. “I don’t get it,” I said. “You planned all of this: me not having a partner, the boat sinking at the exact time and place that the current would bring us to this cave, and you forgetting your walkie-talkie so you couldn’t call for help. You wanted us to be alone, why else would you want to f**k?”
“Riley—” I got off of him and moved to the other side of the cave. “I can’t,” he said in a sad voice.
“Then why?” He stood up, and his trousers were dripping water all over the floor.
He said, “I don’t know why,” and I sighed and sat down on a rock nearby.
“I just… like you,” he said quietly, looking like he was confused about what he was saying.
“I like talking to you and being around you. I made a mistake. It won’t happen again,” he said, as if he was explaining it to himself and not me.
And then I couldn’t stop thinking about how lonely Mason was.
I asked quietly, “You don’t have any other friends?”
He shook his head.
“Do you not talk to any of the other high-ranking officers?”
He shook his head again and ran his index finger over his stubble.
He said, “You can’t be their friend and their boss at the same time.” “But I can’t be your friend and your Lieutenant at the same time, so I messed up. I’m sorry.”
“You didn’t have to do all of this to hang out with me. You could have just asked me.” He smiled nervously at me.
“Don’t you get it? I’m not allowed to spend time with you, Riley. I’m supposed to give you orders and deal with your punishments. I’m supposed to train you to be a soldier. I’m not allowed to be distracted or show human emotions. I took an oath. The commander sees it this way: I’m up here,” he said, holding his hand above his head, “and you’re down there.” He lowered his hand to just below his knees. “You’re a criminal because you held up a store at gunpoint. You’ve broken the rules over and over since you got here. Why would I want to be friends with someone like that?”
“Nobody is asking you to be.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest in defiance.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to,” he said as he walked over to me. “Maybe I did,” he added. “No,” he said to himself. “I don’t know why I would want to be friends with someone like that, but I do. I really do.”
“That’s not much better,” I said coldly, and he looked down. “But it’s a start,” I said.
I lay on my back and looked up at the concrete roof. Mason had gotten a fire going, and things weren’t going well between us. We haven’t talked much in the last half hour.
“So you know everything about me, huh? Tell me something about yourself.” I finally got the guts to start talking. He turned his head away from the flames, which had been mesmerising him, and I rolled onto my side, using my elbow to support myself.
He said in a straight voice, “I can’t talk about my private life.” I let out a loud, angry grumble. I sat up, crossed my legs, and moved closer to the fire.
“What was it like to have the commander as your dad?” A brief flash of emotion crossed his face, but then the soldier in him came back out. He straightened up, tensed his shoulders, and looked away.
“Riley,” he said in a stern voice.