Page 89 of On the Rocks

“I can’t,” I whimpered.

“Why not?” He stepped into me, hands reaching forward, and this time, I didn’t rip away when his hands found my arms. “Just tell me why. Tell me therealreason why, and I swear, I’ll leave you alone.” His hands trailed up, framing my face. “If that’s what you want.”

Noah swallowed at that, like the words tasted as bad as they sounded. He lowered his forehead to mine, and both of us inhaled a breath that sounded like a roar of thunder.

“I promise I will,” he said again, this time softer. “But I don’t want to. I want you to stay. Please, Ruby Grace.Stay.”

His lips found mine, hard and pleading, and I melted into him, my hands tugging at his wet shirt as another crack of lightning split the sky. I took that kiss selfishly, eagerly, opening my mouth and letting him slide his tongue inside as I moaned and leaned into him even more.

I wanted him to brand me.

I wanted to brandhim.

For as long as I lived, I knew I’d never forget that last kiss with Noah Becker.

But when the lightning was gone, the thunder rolling behind it, I broke free, panting, and I didn’t meet his eyes when I said the last words I’d ever say to him.

“Don’t follow me.”

With that, I was gone.

Noah

Two weeks.

Those words were on repeat in my head Sunday evening as I sat with all my brothers on Mom’s front porch, holding a full beer in my hand, knowing I couldn’t stomach even one sip of it. I hadn’t touched anything Mom had made us for dinner, either.

Two weeks.

I counted the days, the hours, the minutes and seconds that fit inside that time period.

It was only fourteen days. Three-hundred-and-thirty-six hours. Twenty-thousand-one-hundred-and-sixty minutes. One-point-two-million seconds.

And then, she would be Ruby Grace Caldwell.

My fist tightened around the can, a bit of the beer spilling over the side as I fumed at that fact. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to church, shouldn’t have put myself in her vicinity where I could stare at her and sit in my misery like a masochist.

But Ihadto see her.

After she left that night, I followed her even though she told me not to. I had to make sure she made it back to her car okay. But, I stayed back, gave her space, and once she was in her car, I did as she asked me to.

I left her alone.

I thought she’d call, or text, or send a fucking smoke signal.Anything. Something to tell me that she’d just had a moment, but she was okay now.

But it never came.

And earlier, at church, our pastor announced that the wedding was just two weeks away.

Which meant it was still happening.

Which meant I didn’t meanshitto Ruby Grace.

I sighed, releasing my grip on the can a bit as my eyes wandered over Mom’s garden. I felt so many things in equal measure — betrayal, longing, confusion, anger, heartbreak. But more than anything, I felt foolish.

I was the biggest fool.

I’d chased a woman who had another man’s ring on her finger, a woman out of my league by any standard, a woman younger than me, a woman who, in reality, was still just a girl in so many ways. I’d wanted to save her, to be her partner in everything, to fill the emptiness in my life with her and be the one to do the same in her life.