Page 85 of On the Edge

She pulled over a spare chair and sat down next to her sister.The rhythmic sound of a respirator accompanied the rise and fall of Poppy’s chest.An ECG beeped slowly, mapping her steady heartbeat.

‘Have you got the CT results yet?’

Lauren shook her head.‘Jimmy rang,’ she said after a moment, turning to face her.There was an edge in her voice.‘He said Ryan Warner attacked you, that Poppy saved your life …’

‘She did, Lauren, she was so brave—’

‘I don’t want her to be brave!I want her to be safe!’

‘I know.I’m so sorry she got hurt, Lauren.I’m so sorry she got caught up in the confrontation between me and Ryan.’

A long silence.

‘I don’t understand why she was even there with you.’Lauren’s voice was a low murmur.‘We argued when she got home from school.She wanted to go down to the beach, but I knew the storm was coming so I said no.She charged into her room and slammed the door.I thought I’d give her some time to cool down, but when I went to try to talk it out, she wasn’t there.She’d switched off location tracking again, so I got in the car and went to find her.’

Tears welled in Lauren’s eyes.‘When I heard the siren and saw the flashing lights on the headland, I knew, somehow I justknewthat something had happened to her.’She rested her head on the edge of the bed.After a few minutes she sat up again.‘Why was she even there though?At the lighthouse?Did you tell her to meet you there?’

‘No!God, of course not.I suppose she was meeting Jack there.She was just … in the wrong place at the wrong time.’

Lauren’s face hardened.‘Like Leo was?’

‘What?’Nel frowned, not following.

‘Nothing’s ever your fault, Nel,’ Lauren said.‘But itisyour fault.Can’t you see that?You come back here after all this time, and first Leo gets into a fight because ofyou, and now this.’She gestured to Poppy.

‘I would never have intentionally put her in danger,’ Nel murmured weakly.

‘But youdidput her in danger!’

Lauren was right.Poppy had been drawn into Nel’s plan right from the start.

‘You’re right.I’m sorry,’ Nel said, her eyes hot with the threat of tears.‘I’m sorry that Poppy got hurt, and I’m sorry about Leo’s fight.’

Lauren said nothing.

‘I feel like you’ve been angry with me ever since I returned to Carrinya.’Nel blinked, and felt tears run down her face.‘I don’t know how to make any of it right.’

A long silence, then Lauren turned to her, tears in her eyes.‘I have been angry with you.For a long time.’

‘Why?’

Lauren frowned.‘For leaving us.From the moment Maddie died, it was all about you, Nel.I get why you left, I do, but did you ever think about what it must have felt like for us?’

She hadn’t, Nel realised now.Not really.

‘I would have loved for you to be there for me when I had Poppy,’ Lauren said.‘You didn’t even come to my baby shower.’

Nel remembered how angry her sister had been when she said she wasn’t going.She’d been confused at the time.Lauren had friends, she had Steve.Why did it matter if her younger sister was there?But she’d been hurt, Nel realised now.

‘I’m sorry,’ she said.

Lauren nodded.When she spoke again, her tone was softer.‘I know none of this is what you wanted.’She turned to Poppy and reached for her hand.‘Why didn’t she talk to me?Why did she have to lie?’

Nel wasn’t sure if Lauren wanted an answer but she offered one anyway.‘Maybe you need to trust her, for her to trust you.’

Tears flowed down Lauren’s cheeks as she rubbed Poppy’s hand.

Nel sighed.‘You’ve got to let her grow up—’