Page 73 of On the Edge

‘I’ve only got half an hour.’

‘That’ll be fine,’ she said, stepping forward.

He held the door open wider to allow her inside.She followed him to the kitchen where a teapot sat on the wooden bench in a red tea cosy.

He cleared his throat.‘I’ve just made a pot of tea, if you’d like a cuppa.’

‘Lovely, thank you.’She smiled at the colloquialism, which reminded her of her dad.

She sat at the table and watched him pour the tea, wondering how to start.She’d never had a proper conversation with Geoff before and she felt acutely aware of the strangeness of it.

‘I hope it’s nothing serious,’ she said.

He looked at her blankly.

‘With Faye, I mean,’ she added.

‘Nothing serious, no.’He carried the mugs to the table and sat down.‘Do you take milk and sugar?’

‘Just milk, thanks.’

Another silence.She sipped her tea, but it scorched her throat.Geoff spooned sugar into his and stirred it with a teaspoon that clinked against the cup.

‘How are you finding it, being back in town?’he asked.

She blew gently on the steaming surface of the tea, thinking about how to answer.She decided to tell the truth.‘It’s always been hard for me here.Well, not always, but since … you know …’

Another silence.The small talk wasn’t coming easily, so she took a breath and spoke again.

‘I’ve been thinking a lot about Maddie since I’ve been back.’

He nodded.‘You were a good friend to her.’

‘For a long time I’ve thought that I wasn’t.That if I hadn’t left her alone that night she’d still be here.’

‘Faye shouldn’t have said what she said.It wasn’t your fault.You can’t blame yourself.’

She swallowed.‘Since I’ve been back, I’ve been looking into it.Trying to find out the truth.’

Geoff leaned forward, rubbing his forehead with his hands, then he looked up and fixed his eyes on hers.He lowered his voice.‘I’ve always been careful not to say this to Faye—god knows she struggles enough as it is—but I think we need to accept that it was suicide.’

The word hung in the air between them.

‘It wasn’t.’Nel shook her head.‘I’m sure of it.’

He looked at her with dull eyes.‘I know it’s hard to accept—’

‘It’s not that it’s hard to accept.It’s that it isn’t the truth.It doesn’t make sense.It doesn’t explain the missing ring.’She’d raised her voice unintentionally, and she took a steadying breath.‘What does Faye think?’

‘She thinks it was an accident.It’s the least painful thing to believe.’He shrugged his shoulders.A simple gesture, but so full of resignation.She could feel the burden of his loss, not just of his daughter, but also, in some sense, of his wife.

‘You said you discovered something?’he prompted.

She nodded and took a deep breath.‘Maddie was pregnant.’

She watched his face closely, observed his eyes narrow almost imperceptibly.

‘You knew?’she said gently.