Page 9 of Nothing to Beat (Nothing to… #13)

NO BABY.

She wasn’t disappointed. It worked out for the best. They’d swerved a bullet. Her idea to have Breck’s baby was crazy and she’d—where was he?

After the pregnancy test came out negative, she’d excused herself from Roxie’s and gone home.

Not much left to party for after her non-news killed the mood.

The memory of that night wouldn’t die. She’d have happily gone her whole life without walking into a room full of expectant Breckenridges only to disappoint them.

Alice, especially, was ready to meet the next generation.

The woman didn’t say it, wouldn’t, but an infant would’ve been the greatest gift.

Breck tried to join her when she’d declared her departure. The others expected him to go home with her because it was them. Them. That was exactly why she refused his company.

Fuck it.

Yes, okay, she was disappointed. Why did it feel so shameful to admit that even secretly in her own private thoughts?

Maybe because all she’d have to do was pout at Breck, confess her dejection, and he’d do whatever it took to make it better.

The solution was within reach, but she couldn’t pursue it, couldn’t take advantage of him… again.

They’d dodged a bullet, hadn’t she literally just thought that?

Guilt was too tame a word. What kind of horrible, despicable person—maybe she should quit her job.

Uh huh, sure, how many times did that idea crop up?

Every time her hormones salivated over the man working at the opposite end of the floor, that’s how often.

It wouldn’t happen. She’d never follow through.

What a coward. It was one thing to be aware that her proximity caused him damage. It was another to relieve that damage by never being near him again.

She was a junkie. Breck Breckenridge was her drug. Rehab didn’t exist for her addiction, and the most shameful part? Even if it did, she wouldn’t go. Her preoccupation with him was her life. Seeing him, even for the briefest moment, was what she lived for. How sad was that?

Which brought her to the question of the day: where was he?

Not just that day either. A week had passed since their Crimson catastrophe and she hadn’t seen him once since then. Not once. Jonesing for him had never been this bad… or maybe it had and she’d repressed the torment. How much longer could she live like this? Talk about cruelty.

For the last five days, she, as usual, worked in her office at Breckenridge HQ, pretending she wouldn’t catch glimpses out to the executive floor any time he went in or out of his office.

Or she would pretend, if he’d shown up to give her the chance.

In a normal week, she’d see him regularly.

Even if they didn’t interact, the game went on.

That week, she hadn’t seen or heard a whisper of him.

A week . Had she mentioned no sightings for a week?

One day of absence was an anomaly. Two was strange. Three was curious. Four was concerning, and they were all the way at day five now. Friday. Yep, that meant verging on panic.

She could ask. Any of the Breckenridges would answer. If it was her place to know where he was, which it wasn’t, because they weren’t together.

Ahh!

Or she could call him. He’d pick up. In a real pinch, she could go to Breckenridge House, no one would get in her way. She had rights. No, no she didn’t. Well, she did, though she shouldn’t. Why? Because they weren’t together.

If Breck wasn’t at work, he had to be home. Maybe. No. Logic didn’t work. He was supposed to be there, in the building, that was the logical answer to where he’d be. Except he wasn’t.

Goddamnit, the man’s life wasn’t her business. Something was wrong with her, way deep down in her screwed-up psyche. What the hell was a clean break? It wasn’t staring across the floor at his office waiting for someone, anyone, to go in there. To give her some hint—

She closed her laptop in the same snap of finding her feet.

This was insane. If something happened with the family, some tragedy, none of them would be in.

Everyone was in. Except him. Whatever was going on was Breck related, and damnit, Breck related was her related.

He wouldn’t hesitate to assume the same if the situation was reversed.

Hell, no way he’d wait five days to quiz her.

Ben was in some meeting, and going to the top as a first stop was more than dramatic. Darroch would tease her. Not that she couldn’t take it, but he wouldn’t be the best person to break bad news.

It couldn’t be bad news.

No.

Someone would’ve come to her with bad news… wouldn’t they?

If it was medical, the whole family would be at Breck’s bedside and she wouldn’t have seen any of them. She should get friendlier with Savanna. Alice was available to her twenty-four, seven, but the wonderful woman didn’t have time to get held up by gossip.

This wasn’t gossip, this was something. Gossip didn’t keep Breck from his office for a week. What could be happening in his life that didn’t affect the other Breckenridges? Another woman? Ha, funny. That was firmly in the “no way” column. No, it had to be something…

Sheesh, talk about FOMO. Something was going on in Breck’s life, he might need support, and she was out of the loop.

She was his loop, who did he think he was cutting her out?

Radio silence was not okay and she’d tell him that…

if he ever graced her with his appearance again.

Guy better wear a helmet and pads if he did because this was not okay.

Disappearing on her was not okay. Worrying her, scaring her, he’d need a shield and a stick to survive when she caught up with him.

Ward was in, but she bypassed his office to march into another.

“Where is he?” she demanded of the man behind the desk. He pushed back in his seat. “Caber, I swear to—”

“Tripp wins the pool. How does he always do that? You women have to stop confiding in him, puts him at an unfair advantage.”

She hadn’t talked to Tripp since leaving Roxie’s last Friday night.

“So you’re playing a game? Breck’s supposed to be the sensible one. He wouldn’t take a whole week off work for a bet. Is the point to rile me?” Talk about conceited. “This isn’t about me. This time off—

“Not time off,” Caber said, shaking his head as he picked up his pen to tap it on the desk. “He quit.”

If someone so much as sneezed in her direction, she’d go down. Bowled over didn’t begin to cover it.

He couldn’t mean… “Quit what?”

“Breckenridge.”

After the words bedded in, her smile reacted. “Bullshit,” she said on a burst of laughter. “Is that your bet? You think I would fall for that? Not a chance he’d—”

“He quit,” Caber said with a slight nod. “All the way. He no longer works for any Breckenridge company and claims he never will.”

Should she be startled or devastated? “Why?” the question just popped out. “Ben would never…” Maybe she should’ve gone straight to the top; this was insanity. “What could possibly have happened? Was there a fight?”

Arguments or disagreements might cause tantrums and forever rifts in her family, it would be alien for the Breckenridges. With them, respect and communication were everything.

“No. He’s just through. Says he has priorities.”

“He loves his job. His family. Working with—he loves his job.” She knew the man just as well as his mother, better in some arenas, yet she had nothing. No explanation. Her mind was blank, completely empty. Why would he choose this? “Is he stepping back to give the rest of you the chance to…?”

To what? The Breckenridges made space for each other.

Alice could deal with hurt feelings and Ben controlled the beast’s ego.

They were caring parents, involved, they didn’t favor one son over another.

If someone else wanted a crack at something, they’d give them the chance.

Breck wouldn’t stand in the way of his brothers’ ambition either.

It was a sight to see when they conversed; the family actually respected each other for real.

“It was completely his choice,” Caber said. “Kinda came from nowhere, but, yeah, he’s sure. This is what he wants.”

No Breckenridge would stand in the way of another following their chosen path, even if that path steered them away from the family.

“Why?” There it was again. “What possible reason…?”

Maybe it was a medical emergency and no one had noticed his psychosis. Could be he’d hit his head or swallowed something toxic.

Caber shrugged. “He has a plan.”

And now she was just incredulous. “What plan?”

His lips widened in a smile. “You expect me to answer that?”

No. Because on top of everything else, Breckenridges kept each other’s confidence.

This was the Twilight Zone. “It’s a secret plan?”

“I don’t know if it’s secret, just know I won’t be the one opening my mouth.”

Because he didn’t want the force of her wrath? That meant it was a stupid plan. And who better to tell him that?

“No, you’re right,” she said. “I’ll go to B House and browbeat him myself. Quit? Breckenridge? He is Breckenridge!”

“And while I’m over here doing my best not to be offended by that declaration…” Uh huh, not so much. Caber didn’t know how to be offended. Right then it seemed all he could do to hold in his amusement. “I’ll tell you, he’s not at home.”

Another curveball. Although…

“He found another job already? Where?” Because she wouldn’t hesitate to walk in there either, security clearance or not. In this state, she’d storm right through the damn walls. “You don’t have to tell me, but I’ll be sitting on your mother’s front steps until he gets back from—”

“Might be waiting a while, he’s not living at the house either.”

New job, new home, what next? She dreaded to think. Could involve a woman without a weight of baggage dragging him down. Did she want him to be happy? Yes. Did she want to imagine him bonding with anyone but her? Definitely not.

Hell mend any new woman in his life who tried to take him from his work or his family. Both were so intrinsic to his identity, the true him would cease to be if this new love interest tried to separate him from either.

“Are you going to tell me where he is or do I have to turn the thumbscrews on one of your little brothers? Ward’s in his office, within easy reach…

” She’d be wherever Breck was in a snap.

Providing it was in the city, the state—he wouldn’t go to another country for a job…

would he? He was good, amazingly good in many areas of life, another nation might offer him a better outlook.

“Stonewall me and I’ll file a missing person report. ”

His head tilted. “Your instinct’s to go to the cops? Where’d you learn that?”

Not from her family anyway. “Ha-ha, stop trying to change the subject. I’ll find him. One way or another—”

“He’s at Darroch’s,” Caber said, dragging a cellphone across his desk. “I’ll text you the address.”

So Breck wasn’t hiding from her? Good. He should be smarter than that.

“Darroch’s? Isn’t Savvy’s place a studio?”

She’d never been there, but had heard tell.

“A loft,” Caber said, pushing his phone away to show more amusement. “But, yeah, no walls on their bedroom. Roch’s been a little stretched this week.”

It was almost funny that Darroch Breckenridge lived in such a small place. He could afford the best, palatial, yet he was happy where his woman was, happy to be with her. Just like Breck would—no, she wouldn’t cut him any slack. Not until this secret plan was out in the open.