Page 19 of Nothing to Beat (Nothing to… #13)

If Porter proposed to Roxie, the relationship must’ve been serious.

Feelings didn’t go away overnight. No matter how acrimonious or amicable the split, Roxie hadn’t hesitated to call Porter and let him know she was worried.

No, more than that, the riot act suggested anger, panic.

The man had once been the most important in her life, and Roxie hadn’t switched that off.

Maybe their love took on a different hue, but it was still love.

Was that enough? Had Porter shown enough trust to gain hers? If she didn’t want Roxie or Tripp to know about this meeting, she didn’t have a lot of time to sit and shoot the shit.

Big breath. “My father has five safe deposit boxes.”

The physical paper didn’t have to be handed over yet. Baby steps.

Porter stiffened just a little, adopting a stance that betrayed his transfer to work mode. “In the city?”

“Not all of them.” In both hands, she held the sheets a little closer to her chest. “I have a file in New York, if I’d known we were coming here…”

Would she have brought it? Probably not.

She barely looked at the heavy weight it represented.

Roxie did the right thing keeping their destination secret.

If she’d known Chicago was their goal, she wouldn’t have got on the plane.

Now she was there, it might work out for the best. Emphasis on the might .

In her family, the unpredictable flared whenever it felt like it.

“We can arrange to pick up—”

“No,” she said, shaking her head and putting the papers on the desk. Not for him, not yet. “I’ve written down as much as I can remember. When I’m back in New York, if there’s anything I’ve missed…”

“Did you take it from him? The file? Does it belong to your father?”

“No.” She swallowed. “It’s mine.” And her burden to bear alone, until now anyway. “As a teenager, when I learned more about what my father did and how dangerous he was, our relationship…”

“Soured?”

Good word. “Yes. I didn’t want to be a Gambatto if it meant hurting people.

” And worse. “The way he treated people… There were different versions of him, sometimes I didn’t see the same one twice in a day.

There was no reasoning with him, no understanding, no compassion.

I didn’t want to live my life that way. Being a Gambatto, all that came with it…

” This was irrelevant. She was rambling.

“Anyway, I started collecting what I could, little things, taking notes, no gotcha moments exactly, but there are things I know, things that might help.”

“Because if he’s in prison, he can’t influence your relationship with the man you mentioned.”

Influence. Something her father craved. Much as she didn’t want to admit it, some part of her had to concede his influence wouldn’t leave her completely, even if he was encased in concrete walls.

As for her and Breck? She’d always kept her father as far from her personal life as possible, but wasn’t na?ve enough to think he didn’t keep tabs on her when it suited him.

After all this time, he wouldn’t expect her to turn against him.

No, that wasn’t right, he’d known they were against each other since her teen years.

But to actively do something that would hurt him?

He’d doubt she had the ability. Maybe she didn’t.

Maybe nothing she’d collected would mean anything or help the prosecution. Still, she had to try.

“I want freedom to have a future. One that doesn’t end in prison or hiding. You know, Joey’s an asshole who deserves to be punished, but he’s also who he is because of my father. Yes, he’s taken it too far and can never be forgiven, but our father wormed his way into our psyche’s young.”

Like brainwashing or grooming. Once upon a time, she’d worshipped her father, looked up at him with adoring eyes, beholding him as the best of humanity.

Na?veté reigned when she played with dolls and tea sets.

It was whittled down piece by piece until the moment it struck her that he was the worst of men.

Despite his actions being the cause, she carried so much shame for the association.

Like blood stained her skin, she could scrub and scrub, but it would always come right back.

“Trish is immune,” Porter said.

That was supposed to be optimistic, to make her feel better? Too bad she disagreed.

“No—” Except it wasn’t her place. “I suppose I shouldn’t speak in absolutes, it’s been a long time since we talked. Maybe you’re right. Could be she’s had a whole personality transplant.”

And who knew what Trish had endured that immunized her to their father’s hegemony.

“I wouldn’t say that. She’s vibrant. He hasn’t broken her, this hasn’t broken her.”

“How often do you see her?”

An exhaled laugh joined the whisper of a smile. “I don’t know if I should answer that. I have to be conscious of her safety.”

Good. Yes, the implication she’d hurt her sister was offensive, but she couldn’t be a hypocrite. Hadn’t she wondered if Porter took Trish’s wellbeing seriously? He was gaining points, sure, but she’d love Breck’s take. He wasn’t there. And whose fault was that?

Breck was an amazing judge of character.

No, he didn’t have a lot of patience for people who wasted his time or tried to take liberties.

He sized people up quick, picked up on signals she sometimes missed.

Roxie might be a new friend, but Alice liked her.

So if Roxie trusted Porter enough to be in a relationship with him, should she trust in that?

“My sister was always harder than me, better at the intimidation stuff.” For a time, Trish embraced that life. Something must’ve changed. And it was on her that she wasn’t around to be a part of that development. “She deserves your loyalty. Thank you for looking after her.”

“That’s all on Zairn. He does most of the handholding too. For what it’s worth, I’m impressed by her strength and have never doubted her sincerity. She’s been through a lot.”

Alone. That’s what she heard. Trish had been through a lot alone, without a sister at her side.

Any time she thought of contacting her sister, she’d talked herself out of it, deciding all she could do was be receptive if Trish reached out.

She didn’t want to put her sister in the awkward position of go-between after all. God, what a lousy excuse.

“We were so different. She looked out for me, protected me from a lot of it. I suppose I saw strength, her impervious nature, her ability to deflect and avoid. It never seemed like she needed me.”

“You should talk to Zairn. I think he’d have a lot to tell you. The kind of things neither of them would tell me.”

She should go to Zairn, to apologize for ducking what should’ve been partly her responsibility too.

With her sister out of the game, separated from the family, there was no reason they shouldn’t reconnect.

If Trish wanted to reconnect. She didn’t want to endanger her either, or be seen as an access point.

That wouldn’t leave her and Breck much safer.

And what about Trish? Could be once this was all over, she wanted to be left alone to build her new life.

After another slow, deep breath, she laid her palm on the papers.

“I’ll take you through this, as much as I can.

Some of the details, dates and times, etc.

I’ll get those to you later.” Though she’d have to ensure it was done without leaving a trail.

Trust only went so far with a man who may have to prove provenance.

“What’s in here will give you leads to follow.

New avenues to explore. Anything you find from this anonymous tip…

” Widening her eyes, she waited for his single nod of understanding.

“Could help you, or the feds, with the prosecution. Now I am not a source, you can’t call me up and ask questions, this is it. A one-shot deal. Take it or leave it.”

He shifted to the edge of the chair, getting closer to the tantalizing stack that saw him almost salivate.

“I’ll take it,” he said. “Let’s get started.”