Page 10 of Nothing to Beat (Nothing to… #13)

KNOCKING AT SAVANNA’S place only heated her blood.

It was anger. Maybe it was anger. Frustration?

Annoyance? Impatience? He better not feed her some line about secret passions or artistic ambition.

He didn’t conceal some hankering for a life on stage or blasting into space.

They’d done talking through the night too many times to count and he’d never once mentioned being held back from fulfilling a childhood dream by any obligation to the family firm.

But it had to be something that drastic. Why else would he quit not only his career, but his family legacy?

This was so out of left field. It had to be medical. Had to be. Man better be in some kind of fugue state if he believed she’d let him throw away everything he’d worked to build for the Breckenridge future.

The loft door opened and there he was: the man she’d missed all week. That in itself was enough to shake her head. What was he doing answering the door?

“You should be too busy to answer the door,” she said, fighting against gritting her teeth. “Have you contracted a brain eating parasite?”

“Coy—”

“Ah!” she exclaimed, prodding him hard. “No. We don’t know each other. We’re complete strangers. I don’t know any man who would be so reckless and ridiculous. I must’ve misheard your brother because there’s no way it’s true, you quit the firm?”

“Coy—”

“You don’t quit your job without talking to me—” She looked down. “Why am I still on this side of the threshold?”

He stepped aside and in she went, ascending into an open plan space with stairs to the far right up to, what she guessed, was the wall-less bedroom. What a set up.

“Would you like a drink?”

Like this was just any normal visit. Breck’s unwavering calm had never unnerved her, not until right then. This was like talking to a stranger.

“This is where you’re living? Why?” Spinning on the spot, she tried to see into the man she knew so well, who she thought she knew. Nothing. She got nothing. “Are you on drugs?” She went to take his hand. “You can tell me. I’ll support you through anything. We all will.”

Did she really believe he was strung out on some foreign substance? No. Though it could be a preferable motive versus whatever truly prompted this.

“Only thing I’m hooked on is you, Coy.”

“I shouldn’t have come here first. I should’ve gone to your mother to arrange an intervention.” If it wasn’t medical or chemical—“Are you being blackmailed? Did someone bribe you to make space or sabotage—”

“You know me better than that.”

The Breckenridges had an all for one thing; what happened to one, happened to them all.

Someone else would have a clue what was in his head, should have a clue, better have a clue.

As it stood his intention was murky. Good thing she was back in the loop, sort of, no one was better equipped to get answers.

If she struck out, answers didn’t exist.

“Didn’t you hear me? I don’t know you at all, Strange Man from Outer Space,” she said, whirling around to march to the couch and throw her purse down.

To be honest, she didn’t know where to begin.

“You’re living here? How do you expect that to work out?

You’re crashing your brother’s life. Are you worried about him? Is it Savvy? You don’t trust her?”

“No, no one’s worried about Darroch or Savvy.”

“Can’t say the same about you, Stat. If you didn’t want to be at B House, why not go to a hotel? There’s a Grand in town, you know, two, at least. And, you have a bunch of friends who’d walk through fire for you. Are you telling me none of them would take you in?”

“I didn’t ask.”

“If you wanted to be free of everything Breckenridge—why would you want to be free of everything Breckenridge? You love your family. I love your family. Your family are amazing. And if you say any different, I’ll know this is some government cover-up, a high-level conspiracy.

If Xavien Rourke has roped you into something—what’s going on? ”

“You never answered on the drink,” he said, strolling to the kitchen. Such slow, lithe movement, his purpose was sure, though not betrayed in the certainty of his gait. “Still off alcohol?”

“It’s barely dinnertime. Is that what you do now? Spend your days drinking? Hell of a long time to conceal a habit.”

“Are you hungry?”

It was like she wasn’t speaking at all. Did he have his hearing off?

“You want to take me out to dinner?” With him in sweats and a tee-shirt, nothing on his feet, he was hardly ready for their usual haunts.

“Too bad, I don’t date crazy people.” Or ignorant ones, which seemed to be his current persona.

“We’re not going out before we talk about this.

Ignore me as long as you like, Stat, I’ll just keep asking.

Have you forgotten I can be persistent? I get what I want, Breckenridge. ”

From him anyway. Usually.

“Talk about what?”

Like it was—this guy. “Why did you quit? Spell it out for me because I’m absolutely… flummoxed. This is not the Breck I know. Why?”

“Because I’m done.”

“Done?”

“The other night…” He produced two bottles of water from the fridge. “Zairn and I talked. Our conversation put some things in perspective.”

“How is that an answer to—what did he put in your head? Are you telling me to ask him your reasons? I will. Don’t think I won’t. I’ll go right over there and—”

“Nothing is more important to me than you. Nothing.” Wha—what? Was that a…? What were they talking about now? Was this another subject change? “Life is simple when love’s involved. You decide how much you want it. What you’re willing to sacrifice.”

And she didn’t get it. “Who asked you to sacrifice?”

“I don’t know why I didn’t see it. Being together is an option; it’s always an option.”

“That’s what Zairn told you? He’s not a guy you’ve ever aspired to be. I love Zairn, you know that, but you’re very different men. His life is not your life.”

“No, he found clarity long before I did. He wouldn’t take my bullshit and was right to call me on it, to make me face it.” He came to hand her one of the bottles of water. “What’s worth most to you, that’s what your life’s about. Time is finite.”

“Your mortality? That’s what this is about.”

“Zairn’s in love. Him and Roxie, it’s what his life’s about, and that wasn’t an easy path. Didn’t matter; he owns his choice, doesn’t doubt for a second it was the right one.”

“You think we’ve chosen an easy path?”

“I think it’s about time we both got our shit together.”

She tossed the water onto the couch too. “Speak for yourself, my shit is fine.”

Before that morning, she’d have said his was better. Showed what she knew, and how quickly things could change.

“You’re right. This is about me. My choices.”

“You don’t suddenly choose to abandon your family. Something else is going on here.”

He twisted the cap from his bottle and took a long slow drink, never breaking eye contact, not even after he lowered it.

“Something that should’ve happened long ago. Coy, this is my decision. It’s one I hope you’ll support. My family are confused too…” He exhaled a snicker and sipped some more water. “Which is funny, because life has never been so clear to me.”

“And this is it, what you choose? To sleep on your brother’s couch, hang out all day alone?

This is better than working with your family?

With me?” She got a little closer. “If this is about me, do you need me to leave? To quit Breckenridge? If one of us needs to step aside, it has to be me. Why wouldn’t you just—”

“No, I need you at Breckenridge,” he said. “For now anyway. In the future, we can decide—”

“Stat,” she said, taking his hand to reverse to the couch and sit down. This wasn’t working, whatever he was thinking, it wasn’t translating. “Tell me the plan. What’s the plan?”

He sat, putting his bottle on the coffee table to gather her other hand into his too. “First, I have to get a job.”

“You had a job. Breckenridge is your job. More than a job. Why—”

“I need something unconnected to the family. Something unconnected to anyone we care about.”

Which immediately excluded Rouge, Crimson’s parent company, the Grand Hotel chain, and CollCom, all places that would hire him in a heartbeat. Truth was, when the world at large heard Rankin Breckenridge was job hunting, he’d be inundated with offers. Still didn’t explain his actions.

“Why?” she asked again like it was becoming her catchphrase. “Why avoid the people we care about? Is this some deluded notion about making it on your own? Because you earned your spot. It’s not nepotism.” Not only nepotism. “You’re amazing at what you do.”

“No, this isn’t about ego. You know me better than that.” Did she? Because she hadn’t seen this coming, had never even entertained the notion. “I’ll have to take a pay cut; I’ve already relinquished my trust and frozen my bank accounts.”

Though her lips puckered, ready to ask the question again, they stalled.

He hadn’t just quit his job and left the family home, he was shunning the fortune too.

Money he’d earned in addition to the fortune he’d been bestowed.

Rather than enlighten her, everything he said only served to confuse the situation even more.

“I don’t understand.”

Being a man who exhibited infinite patience and care, he’d never taunt her ignorance, she did wish he’d satisfy it though.

“This is what I choose. You are what I choose.” When her head shook, he tightened his hold on her hands. “I promise you I’ll find employment. I will find somewhere for us to live. I will build us a life that no one can take advantage of.”

Ah, and suddenly, all became clear. “This is about my dad. Goddamnit.” Throwing his hands back, she shot to her feet. “The man is a thousand miles away and he still comes between us.”

“I should’ve heard you. From the beginning. We might not have a billion-dollar lifestyle, but we’ll be free. Money means nothing. We can be together.”

“So what? You think this fixes everything? You think this is what I wanted? I love your family; you love your family.”

“We can still love them without working for them.”

“This isn’t right. Don’t you see? This is exactly what I was worried about. You’re giving him power over us.”

“No. I’m taking that power back. Being together is an option. And if, for that to happen, you need me to insulate my family from what yours might do to them, that’s exactly what I’ll do. I’ll have no influence, I’ll have no sway. Regardless of whatever your father asks—”

“I don’t want him to cause a rift. It’s wrong.”

“I won’t work for people we care about. I won’t earn enough to flag on his radar. If we have nothing to offer him, he’ll leave us alone. That’s what you always wanted, for us to have a life together that can’t be infiltrated by him. I’ll give it to you, Coy, just give me a little time.”

“How can you think—you really think you can do this?”

“It’ll take time.”

“And in the meantime? I just wait around until you make it all better?”

She so wasn’t that woman.

“I’ll wait,” he said. “I won’t ask you to do the same.”

Zairn damn Lomond had a lot to answer for. He shouldn’t go around putting ideas in people’s heads. What? Because things were all roses for him and Roxie, somehow, he believed that should make things roses for everyone? Life wasn’t like that.

“Go back to Breckenridge.”

“No.”

“Go back to the house at least, it isn’t right for you to be here like this.”

“I’ve made up my mind, Coy.”

And that stern attitude betrayed his adamance. Great. This train was on the tracks. How long before it wrecked?

This was surreal. “You’re sleeping on your brother’s couch.”

“It pulls out.”

Oh, and that made all the difference?

“You’re being a regular joe, not taking advantage of the generosity of those who care about you…” Which was funny given how generous he, and all the Breckenridges were. “You’re playing this like you know no one, like you don’t have access to what you have access to.”

“I don’t need access to do this right. Darroch and Savvy don’t mind me being here, they stay at B House too. They have space anywhere they need it.”

Support not judgment. Oh, Breckenridge.

“Regardless, you can’t kick them out of their place.” She exhaled and swiped up her purse. “You still have a key to my apartment. Use it. Stay there.”

“Coy, I won’t rush you—”

“Yeah, you’re not getting any, don’t even think about that. I have a second bedroom.” That she had designs on turning into a nursery. With those ideas on hold, there was no reason he shouldn’t use it. “And don’t go telling people we live together. It’s temporary.”

She got two steps before he snagged her wrist to halt her. “Where are you going?”

“To the source,” she said, as fueled by urgency then as she had been on arriving, though for different reasons. “To do something I should’ve done a thousand times already.”