Page 8 of Nothing to Beat (Nothing to… #13)

SITTING THIGH TO THIGH with Roxie on the bathroom ottoman, the pair fixated on the unused pregnancy test balancing on their knees.

“You don’t have to take it,” Roxie said. “We can just tell them it was negative.”

The solidarity was appreciated though not realistic.

“I work in the same building as various Breckenridges. If it came out positive, how long do you think I could keep that secret?”

Even if she managed to hide her bump, if she got one, hiding a child would be harder.

“God, I’m an idiot.” Sweeping the test to Roxie’s lap, she got up to march to the mirror and set her hands on either side of the sink. “What was I thinking choosing him?”

“From what I know of the eldest Breckenridge, which, granted, isn’t much, it wouldn’t matter who the father was. If you walked in there pregnant, he wouldn’t ask questions. Why don’t you want to know?”

“I told Breck I wanted a child the day we… you know.”

“And he was okay with it? You planned this?”

“I planned to have a child. I thought it would be an easy in and out.” So to speak, no pun intended. “I told him I was ovulating.”

“Just like that, and he was okay with it? Have you discussed it before?”

“I took advantage of him, didn’t I? I know he’s in love with me. It’s not possible for him to refuse me. I needed something and I went to him. It’s in my bones, it’s not my fault, it’s instinct.”

That was all excuses; it was her fault. Though, honestly, could she imagine any other man touching her? Ever? Maybe Alice wasn’t far wrong about the prospect of Breck’s romantic future. Hers might wind up the same.

“Looks like love to me. So what’s the problem? The Breckenridges are amazing.”

“Yes, they are. My family aren’t so scrupulous.

Breck and I finished our relationship because I didn’t want my father to take advantage of such an amazing family.

I don’t want them tainted; I won’t be responsible for that.

They don’t deserve it. My father’s one entitled S-O-B.

That’s why I told Breck not to tell anyone about the baby.

Now everyone knows, I can’t envision how this will play out.

Yes, there was always a chance my father would find out I had a child, but there was no need for him to ever know it was Breck’s child. ”

Behind her, reflected in the mirror, Roxie approached. “Your dad isn’t just a scrounging loser, is he?”

An ironic, despondent laugh escaped on her next breath. “My father is a respectable member of society…” or so the script went. “That’s what he wants the world to think. He goes to great lengths to hide the truth.”

“What’s the truth?”

“That he’s into about every shady scheme going; he’s responsible for instigating most of them.

On top of that, he’s a bully and a tyrant.

Not qualities anyone wants for their children’s grandparent.

” What was she supposed to do? Just never have children?

Maybe that would’ve been the smarter choice. “I broke ties with him years ago.”

“You think he’ll reappear in your life if he finds out you’re pregnant?”

“I think he keeps tabs on me. I may have cut ties with him, I can’t say he’s done the same with me.”

“Tell him to go to hell. Acre and Axon have—”

“I know.” Another snicker flavored her breath. “I know. I know. The Breckenridge family have been my life for years. Look, it’s all about appearances, it starts that way anyway. You don’t know how my father operates, how he weasels his way in. If I get married, he’ll be there.”

“He doesn’t have to be. Acre will keep him away. Z and I have contacts—”

“Don’t you see it doesn’t matter? Whether he gets an invite or not, he shows up. There’s a scene, a ruckus, scandal.”

“The press don’t have to be there either. Zairn and I can help with that; it’s our area of expertise. We get a lot of practice.”

“The press? I don’t care about the press.

Yes, that would be embarrassing, and the news would get further faster, but the media doesn’t matter.

What my father does is illegal, and he’s a master of manipulation.

Tying my name to the Breckenridges is the same as tying his to them.

The Breckenridges are wholesome, their name means something.

It’s goodness, kindness, it’s the best of humanity. ”

“You think your father would ask Breck for a favor?”

“More than one. Just standing next to each other would be enough to get the feds interested, and my father won’t care if the Breckenridge name is tarnished.

Association is enough. And my father could do with some legitimacy right now.

My father is the lowest of the low, he’d waste no time and use the Breckenridge name to get what he wanted.

He’s not beyond blackmail or bribery. I’m in the muck, have been since I was born.

I won’t do that to my child; I won’t do it to Breck. ”

“This is conjecture, you don’t know for sure that your dad will—”

“I do. He’s in my whole life. Control gets him off.

He needs to be a part of every little thing.

When I refused to join the family firm, he systematically attempted to destroy every part of my life.

My professors were marking down papers, and I couldn’t get an internship anywhere.

I applied and applied, nothing. Until Breckenridge.

Ben was so nice, the interview went great.

It had been so long since anyone interacted with me without fear or anger. ”

“You can see where his boys get it from.”

“He was so kind, so open. We were saying goodbye and stood up. I could’ve kept my mouth shut, maybe I should’ve. Who knows where I’d be now if I just walked out of there.”

“You told him about your dad.”

She nodded. “It didn’t feel right concealing something so important, not in the face of Ben’s kindness. He had to know if he took me on what they may face. Forewarned is forearmed, so I thought.”

“What did he say?”

“He sat us down and poured me a drink that I really shouldn’t have drunk in the middle of the day.

” Roxie’s warm smile followed hers. “I told him everything.” Looking back it felt long ago, years had passed since then.

Yet she’d never forget Ben’s patience, his generosity.

“Took hours and he didn’t rush me, never once looked at his desk or answered his phone.

After I started, I couldn’t stop. It all spilled out, I don’t know why he listened. ”

“Because he’s Benedict Breckenridge, and, you know, Alice would’ve kicked his ass if she found out he’d turned you away.”

Damn straight. “I apologized for wasting his time, with the interview. No one else would even look at me, I appreciated him being patient. I should’ve been upfront the moment I walked in. I told him to expect a call from my father. That as soon as he got it…”

“Let me guess, Ben said he’d tell your dad to go to hell.”

She rested her hip on the vanity and took a deep breath. “He said my father had already called three times that week. Ben knew who I was from the second I walked in and he saw me anyway, listened anyway.”

Roxie’s incredulity matched what she felt that day too. “Wow, and he never said a word?”

“No,” she said, laughing at the memory. “He just let me go on and on.”

“Did he hire you on the spot?”

“He took me home for dinner first.”

“To Alice?”

Gosh, a million years ago. “To support not judgment.”

“That’s when you met Breck.”

“Not that night, but not long after.”

“Love at first sight?”

In a way, she couldn’t deny that. Except… “When are things ever that simple?”

Lust at first sight for sure, though at Breckenridge House there was plenty to lust over.

“You broke up with Breck to protect him. As a boyfriend, you’re not permanently linked, that’s why you broke up with him. To protect him. You don’t believe he would do the same for you?”

“No one can protect me from my father.”

“What comes next? One way or the other you have to do this test; the truth is the truth. The more time you have to get used to this, to prepare for this, the better.”

She’d been putting it off for all the reasons mentioned, everyone was right. Including Roxie. Her newest friend held the test aloft for a moment before holding it out. Yes, they did have to know.

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it.”

The moment the plastic touched her fingers her heart beat a little faster.

This was it. Pee on the stick. How hard was that?

Not hard at all if she didn’t think about the consequences of an affirmative answer.

That was what she wanted, what she had wanted until Breck opened his mouth.

Right. She’d pee on the stick and deal with whatever came after, one step at a time.