Page 26 of Nothing to Beat (Nothing to… #13)

LINKING THEIR FINGERS, Breck took her away from the audience, without answering Tripp’s question, and through to the master bedroom.

Just like Bastian, he closed the door. Another talking to?

What was with the men in her life? Okay, so…

huh, maybe she deserved this one. Better to get a lecture and know he cared than to be ignored. Oh, it would break her heart.

“Did Bastian call?” she asked.

Was that what prompted the trip?

“No,” Breck said. “But he should’ve.”

Wandering from him, she went to sit on the edge of the bed. “I asked him not to call you. Not to tell you where I was… You knew where I was because of Roxie, right?”

He came to stand in front of her. “Were you really hiding from me?”

“No!” And she never would. “I didn’t want you to feel responsible for me. I don’t want you to feel responsible.”

“I’m always responsible for you, and you me, that’s the way it works.”

He’d been raised to believe relationships were that way. With parents who loved and adored each other as well as their children. Breck had a view of the world she’d never experienced in her own life. Not until meeting him and the Breckenridges.

“This wasn’t something I wanted you involved in. I had to do this myself.”

“You’re at liberty to do that; I have no plans to get in the way…” Sitting at her side, he ran his fingers into her hair, catching it between them as he cradled her jaw. “If you need to do this without me, do it without me. All I want is to be waiting here for you at the end of the day. Every day.”

Oh, sigh. Now he was being romantic when she could rip his clothes off. Kicking off her shoes, she slid herself back on the mattress until her legs were extended straight out.

The saucy smile wasn’t really required; he’d read her mood. “I could be ovulating.”

“You’re not.”

Damn the man and his math. “We could pretend…”

Though amusement relaxed his features, she didn’t sense a ravishing was coming up next.

“You keep saying we’re not doing this again.

” And this was the worst time to muddy the waters.

He was ready for their future, and her certainty was still gray.

“I won’t be your sperm donor. The next time we make love, it’s going to be for good, Coy.

Are you ready for that? Because once we start, there’s no more, ‘not doing this again.’ Do you understand? ”

Though almost every part of her wanted to be, she hadn’t started this journey only to give up before seeing it through.

Flopping from her elbows onto her back, she pressed her foot against his thigh. “We can cuddle, can’t we? Just lie together and… breathe. It’s been a tough couple of days.”

Her focus stayed on the ceiling though she heard him take off his shoes.

Then he was scooping her up, relaxing both of them, his head in a pillow, hers on his shoulder.

It did feel better to be there. Against the heat of him, the solidity, the strength.

Breck could calm and agitate her atoms simultaneously and at will.

As her eyes closed, she prayed he’d never stop, that this would never stop.

“Have you been sleeping?” he asked, fingers moving through her hair.

“Not as well as I do next to you.” Her palm skimmed up his torso and down, checking this was real, that he really was there holding her. “I have a lot to tell you.”

“You don’t have to tell me anything. That’s not why I came. I am not checking up on you.”

“I know that. I know. I want to tell you. I always knew I’d have to, that I’d want to. The wheels are in motion now, there’s nothing either of us can do to stop it. Before, I… I didn’t want you to talk me out of my purpose.”

“Which means you did something I’d have preferred you not do alone.”

“Bastian came with me, and don’t be mad at him for supporting me. I asked for his help and he did advise me, several times, to loop you in.”

“I’m not mad at him for supporting you. Though I don’t know how I’ll ever pay him back for being with you when I couldn’t.” His lips grazed her hair. “Is it over? Are you finished with whatever you were doing?”

“I have a meeting tomorrow. Bastian was supposed to come with me. After I tell you everything, if you’re still with me…” As in supporting her, not the other, more intimate way. “Maybe you could take Bastian’s place. Though…”

Would that be a good idea? Already walking in there was risky.

Did she want Breck to be seen going in there too?

With her? She’d been nervous enough about Bastian and the man lived in the state, had connections in government.

Maybe instead of him being with her, people would assume it was the other way around, she’d just been tagging along on one of Bastian’s errands.

With Breck, it wouldn’t be like that. Especially when any eagle-eyed onlooker noted her going into the same office twice in the same week. Twice in as many days.

“Though what?” he asked.

She sat up, curling her legs at her side. “I’m going to tell you everything. After that, we can decide together.”

“Okay.” His hands relaxed on his chest. “Start talking.”

And she did. Everything came out. Her intention to go to Trish, Roxie’s diversion to Porter’s, all the way through to Bastian leaving her at the suite door not long before Breck arrived.

“And that’s it. Ackley wants to meet again tomorrow, probably wants to check out the details I gave him today, to make sure my claims are legitimate.”

“Why?” he asked through narrow eyes.

Wasn’t that obvious? “Because he doesn’t know me and I think—”

“Why now?”

Oh, he wasn’t talking about Ackley confirming whether her story held weight, Breck wanted to know why she’d begun the mission at all. Shouldn’t that be obvious?

“You can’t tell me that you flipped your life upside down for us and then not expect me to act.

I’ve been clear. As long as there’s a chance my father can interfere with us or exploit the connection to your family, we can’t be fully committed to each other.

The only way we can be together is if he’s off the board completely. ”

“Prison. You want him behind bars.” He didn’t move but lingered before speaking again. “Do you want to testify?”

Why did everyone ask that? It wasn’t like she’d expressed any desire to do it… ever. Okay, maybe not ever, she may have screamed it at her father once or twice as a teenager, but who didn’t threaten their mafia dad with that kind of thing occasionally?

“No. I don’t want to testify. I never wanted to testify.”

“Because Acre and Axon can keep us safe. And if you want to go into official witness protection—”

“You’ll come with me, I know,” she droned. “I’ve already had that conversation with myself.”

Sitting up, he repositioned the pillow at his back to lean against the headboard. “Now have it with me.”

“I haven’t been a part of my father’s world for a long time. Anything I know is old news. Enter Out is still up and running, I checked. I’ve kept an eye on it through the years, because it was something I had that he didn’t know I had.”

“Your file.”

And was she really surprised he knew it existed? No. He’d seen it once, lying on her dining table, during one of his first visits to her apartment. Man never forgot anything.

“I didn’t know we were going to Porter, so I couldn’t give him all the specifics.

And Ackley, I decided it was time to play this card when I heard how intent Ackley was to get Joey.

If he really is as dogged and determined as people say he is…

I know that works against Roxie and Zairn.

They have a legitimate conflict with him.

I’m not saying I trust Ackley a million percent… ”

“But while it’s in his interest, there’s no reason he should have conflict with you.”

“He said he’s having trouble communicating with Trish.”

“Probably because Zairn doesn’t like dealing with him, or Trish is just as pissed at Ackley for the way he treated Zairn as the rest of us.”

“If I had a choice, I wouldn’t—”

“You don’t get to pick who’s in office. Is Roxie upset with you?”

“No! She’s supported me more than… she’s been incredible.”

“Did he ask you to testify? Ackley?”

“I think that’s what he expected,” she said. “When he found out who I was he… Maybe there’s some moral argument here, that I should be willing to stand up in front of my father and call him out for everything.”

“You’re under no obligation to do anything. That said, if it’s the path you choose—”

“I would never take you from your family.”

“And they would never ask me to watch you walk away.”

“Would you really want to raise our children that way? We’d never be safe. I wouldn’t want that. I wouldn’t want them to fear for their lives on a daily basis. The life we have, we could have, the one I’m fighting for, doesn’t involve us running and hiding.”

“We can give Porter the file.”

“Yes,” she said. “Although I don’t know how to get it to him without using means that could be tracked.”

Phone calls would be on record; the postal service and couriers would keep paperwork too. Maybe it meant another trip to Chicago in the not-too-distant future.

“I can take care of that.”

Proof she wasn’t on this journey alone any longer. Why had she ever thought she might be? Roxie and Tripp had been there, Bastian had been there, but Breck… he didn’t just exist beside her, he was her, and just as invested in the possibilities of their future.

Slipping her hand under his, she laced their fingers together again. “This isn’t a done deal, not yet. We’ll have to wait, I don’t know how long.”

“What are we waiting for? Your father to be arrested again? A trial? Sentencing? Our life is on hold.”

“Your life doesn’t have to be,” she said, attempting to withdraw her hand. His fingers clamped around hers, proving he wouldn’t let her go anywhere. “You never have to wait. I’ve never asked you to wait and if you’re done—”

“I’m with you now,” he said. “I’m not waiting to be with you, I am with you, whether you accept that or not.

” That was sweet. He sure didn’t make it easy for a woman to uphold her resolve.

“But you want something, now, and I don’t want you to wait.

Not for the sake of a family who never deserved you. ”

“A child was a good idea…” in her head anyway, “when I thought we’d be the only ones to know its parentage. But someone…” Her eyes widened as she bowed a little his way. “Someone went around telling everyone.”

He remained impervious. “Do you really think they wouldn’t have known?”

“Maybe they’d have suspected, but if we’d stuck to concealing the truth…”

“I could never have lied about something like that.”

“I didn’t ask you to lie, just not offer anything.”

“My mother would’ve asked.”

“Like you’ve never tap-danced around your mother’s questioning before.”

“Do you think she would be a bad grandparent? A negative influence?”

“No.” This time she did take her hand away, regardless of his fight to keep it. “I love your family, but I can’t keep them safe, not while my father is free to walk the streets.”

“They can keep you safe—”

“No, God…” Climbing off the bed, she took a few breaths before stopping at the bottom. “We’ve had this argument.”

“I don’t want your needs to be on hold, to leave the future up to strangers.”

“Yes, I want to have children. That is my need. But it’s also my need that they live safely. That’s the priority, the safety of our children.”

Something she couldn’t yet promise him.

“Okay,” he said on an exhale. “I’ll do it your way.”

He always did. In the end.

Good.

Now maybe they could forget their stresses for a minute.

“Are you going to take me out to dinner now?” she asked, ready to move on from the topic of her father.

“If you’re paying…”

“Oh, that’s right,” she teased. “You’ve taken a vow of poverty.”

“It’s not a vow.”

“But, wait, how did you get here if…”

Her suspicion didn’t come to fruition; his next words gave her the answer.

“We’ve been invited to Carolyn’s for dinner.”

“Ca—Bastian’s mom? How does she know you’re in town?” Her lips quirked until her cheeks bulged. “Your momma brought you here, didn’t she?” Carolyn Hunt and Alice Breckenridge had been friends all their lives. They’d grown up together. “Aww, that’s so sweet.”

“She was coming to LA this month anyway.”

“Aww,” she mocked in her swoon. “That’s adorable. Your mommy gave you a ride.”

“Mm hmm,” he said, not amused, but not riled either. He got up off the bed. “Tripp and Roxie are invited too.”

“They want to go to the club. Maybe they’ll come to eat, but they’ve done so much for me. They should have a night off.”

“They can have the rest of the trip off now I’m here,” he said, sliding his hands onto her waist. “We may as well stay.”

“I have to get a dress for the wedding.”

“Mom will help you out with that.”

“I can afford my own dress,” she said, unable to hide her smile. “Do you need me to get you a tux too? We should discuss an allowance if you’re expecting me to support you financially. You know, a little bit of freedom money, so your masculinity isn’t threatened by coming to me hat in hand.”

“I meant…” he said, pacing his words and his breathing. “Mom can help with the traipsing around stores, trying on fifty different things only to end up back where you started.”

“Why palm me off on your mom?” she asked, pressing herself close. “It’s not like you have anything else to do.”

“This is a good time for me to look around. Maybe I’ll get a job in LA.”

“We are not LA people,” she said, stroking him. “And I do not want to raise LA children.”

“My mom was raised in California.”

“Yes, and now she lives in New York. Where we live.” Stating it categorically was as much playing as it was sincere. “We will have New York children—if we have them.”

“That will be fun.”

“I have to take a shower before we go out. Will you talk to Tripp and Roxie? Find out their plans?”

“Yes. Then I’ll come and check you’re okay.”

“Oh no,” she said, slinking out of his arms, wiggling a finger his way. “You had your chance, buddy. If you wanted to see the good stuff, you should’ve taken advantage of my surprise you were here, when I was all soft and gooey and grateful.”

“You’ll give in one day.”

“One day.”

One day, she would. Hell, she’d have him right there in the moment if it wouldn’t mean disappointing him again. Being intimate with him was her greatest pleasure. Reminding him that the shackles of commitment remained loose, that was her biggest sadness. He was ready. She had to hurry the hell up.