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What is your biggest fear? What does it say about you?

It’s very simple. I’m terrified something bad will happen and I won’t be able to fix it. For a long time, that worry extended to my career. But I’m learning there are only so many things I can control. I need to focus on those. For today, I hope to convince Dad and Mum to let me move forward with Oscar’s house. I can’t control their answer, but I can control my part in asking the question. As for Mia, I have no control. I love her more than I thought it was possible to love someone, but she needs to sort her life. I can’t do that for her.

X ander closed his journal, downed the rest of his protein shake and got in the Jeep to drive over to his parents’. It was Tuesday morning, and they weren’t expecting him since they’d just had dinner last night. The subject of Oscar’s house had been dodged, much to Xander’s chagrin. At this point, Xander thought it best to wage a sneak attack.

“Mum! Dad! Everyone decent?” Xander called as he stepped into the foyer, closed the door behind him and took off his shoes.

His dad walked into the hall from the great room, concern and confusion painted on his face. “Everything all right, son? We just saw you last night.”

“Dad, we have to talk about the house for Oscar. And I figured it would be hard for you to avoid the topic at 11:00 a.m. on a Tuesday.”

His dad sighed. “Fair enough. Come on in. I’ll put on some tea.”

Xander followed his dad into the kitchen and watched him set the flame under the kettle while Xander fetched two mugs from the cabinet near the stove. “Where’s Mum?”

His dad got out the same Yorkshire tea Xander preferred. “She went into town to have an early lunch with a friend.”

“Oh. Wow. She seemed great last night, but I didn’t know that meant she was up to being out and about.” Xander was so pleased. This was a wonderful, unexpected surprise. “That’s so great to hear.”

His dad grinned. “You know what this whole thing has taught me?”

Xander couldn’t begin to guess. From where he was sitting, a diagnosis like MS came with dozens and dozens of lessons. “Tell me.”

“It’s taught me to appreciate the good days. Your mum still has lots of them and we’ll take every last one.”

How Xander loved the simplicity of that. He and Mia’d had so many good days together, especially when she’d been in England and they had their first chance to really get to know each other. Those long walks and card games might have seemed like ordinary activities to anyone looking in from the outside, but they were cherished memories for him now. It was the first time in a long time when Xander had simply felt like himself.

“That’s nice. I like that.”

The kettle whistled on the stove and his dad killed the flame, then poured the hot water into their mugs, handing one to Xander. “All right, let’s talk about Oscar and this house you want to build him.”

The pair sat at the kitchen table and Xander smoothed his hand over the wood surface, pondering his approach. Being direct seemed best. “I got a call from the architect. He says you haven’t been returning his calls.”

“He’s right. I haven’t.”

Xander and Mia had discussed this situation after the night she’d come to dinner. Xander would never forget what Mia had said to him after he’d explained everything. Her insight was right on the nose.

“You’re trying to protect Oscar. And I understand that. I’m sure when he was born, you and Mum had all sorts of questions and doubts about what his life would look like when he got older. But with all the love and support you’ve given him, and with therapy and many other things going in the right direction, he has a job, he has friends. And now he’s ready for the next step. He will literally be on the same property as you and Mum and me. He will be fine. He needs this.” Xander twisted his lips and looked up at the ceiling. He didn’t want to talk out of turn, but his father needed to know he was holding Oscar back. “And he has a girlfriend, Dad. He’s nineteen. He’d like some privacy. And I can’t blame him.”

“Is he calling her his girlfriend now? It’s just a crush, isn’t it?”

“It’s more than that. I think he’s in love. But you need to talk to him about it. I shouldn’t have said anything. But I really needed you to understand how important this is. He needs to live his life.”

“I see.”

“I get it, Dad. I understand you want to protect Oscar. Protect the family. I want to do that, too. But that’s what I was trying to do when I got myself so worked up about my poor showing this season. I kept thinking about what would happen if I failed. But doing that did not help me. It only made things worse. The truth is that bad things will happen. Good things will happen, too.”

“Like Silverstone.”

Xander laughed quietly. “Like Silverstone. But even more important than that, like meeting Mia.”

“You like her a lot, don’t you?”

“I love her, Dad. I told her as much, right after the podium at Silverstone. And she loves me, too.”

His dad smiled and reached across the table for Xander’s hand. “That’s wonderful. What’s in the future for you two?”

Xander shrugged, his heart heavy despite the hope he was clinging to. “I’m not sure. After that whole thing in The Daily Reflection , things are a bit barmy.”

“Not your finest showing, son. Sorry to say.”

“I know. I’m glad Granny wasn’t alive to see that.”

“Me, too.”

“Anyway, Mia has a lot to decide. About what she wants. Unfortunately, being involved with me does come at a price. The tabloid pictures are evidence of that. I’m just trying to sit back and give her time and space to think.”

“Sounds difficult.”

“It’s not fun. I’ll tell you that much.” Xander took a sip of his tea. “How did you know you were in love with Mum?”

“Are you questioning whether you’re in love with Mia?”

“I’m not. I just, I don’t know. I can’t explain how I came to the conclusion other than it popped into my head and wouldn’t budge.”

“Then you’re definitely in love.” His dad’s smile was even wider now.

“Just like that you deliver your diagnosis?”

“Just like that.”

“I love your self-assurance.” Xander smiled and took another sip. “Why is your tea so much better than everyone else’s?”

“It comes with age, I’m sorry to say. The self-assurance and the tea.”

“So? Oscar’s house?”

His dad nodded, seeming resigned. “It’s time to say yes. It’s time to move forward. I know I’ve dragged my feet, but you hit the nail right on the head. Your mum and I were trying to protect him and we have to let him live his life. I’m very fortunate to have a son who is so generous that he will pay for such an incredible thing for his brother.”

“It’s the least I can do.” Xander leaned over to give his dad a hug. “Thank you, Dad. I think it’ll be good for everyone.”

“Before long we’ll have a whole family compound.”

“Nothing wrong with that.”

“I completely agree. Also, I think you should prepare yourself to build something for Freya when the time comes. I’m afraid she’ll insist on it.”

They both laughed. “Of course she will.”

Xander finished his tea and returned to his house, but he felt nothing but restless. His first instinct after his talk with his dad was to text Mia, then maybe have a chat over the phone. But he’d promised to give her space, and he intended to keep his word. Even when not having her to talk to made him feel as uncertain and unsettled as he’d felt before he met her.

There was one quasi-substitute, and that was listening to her podcast. At least he could hear her voice. He had to admit he was surprised she’d uploaded a new episode. She hadn’t been home long. Turned out it was a quick listen—more like a memo than an episode. He listened twice. There was entirely too much apologizing and backpedaling for his liking, all because of him. It wasn’t right that strangers felt entitled to chime in on the state of her personal life. But when your livelihood was a public-facing endeavor and fully reliant on the opinion of anyone who chose to support you, that was where you landed, whether you liked it or not.

He really hoped people would show up for her event on Wednesday. He didn’t want to see her fail. More than anything, he wanted to see her succeed. In everything.

Reflect on a past hardship. How would you handle it differently today?

I look back at my long string of professional false starts and just see a mess. That was all one giant hardship. Now I’m trying to force myself to see it from a different point of view. I can’t stop thinking about what Xander said in the car. Was I really that astute? That I knew those things weren’t right for me? I’m not sure. It’s hard when you’ve had it framed for years as a shortcoming. Maybe it was just part of my journey.

* * *

The price Xander paid for his and Mia’s media snafu ended up being almost nothing. The trolls had some disparaging things to say about his choice of Mia as a person to be romantic with, but that was to be expected. She could be the most beautiful woman in the world and somebody would have something to say about it. Otherwise, he hadn’t received any flak from his sponsors as near as she could tell. She’d have to ask him on Thursday, when they would finally talk, but the word on the street was that his watch sponsor was over the moon about the primo placement of his wrist in the photos where he was clutching Mia’s neck during their kiss. Even in the middle of a firestorm, Xander managed somehow to come out on top.

Mia really wanted to text him and give him shit about it, but he was right. She needed to sort out her life on her own. After one night in her own bed and some time with her journal, she was only slightly seeing things more clearly. So she set her sights on her mom and dinner.

Mia cooked for several hours, slow roasting a pork butt in the oven with root vegetables and apples. She’d been intentional with her choice of recipe. She wanted her apartment smelling just as good as Xander’s parents’ house the night she and Xander ate dinner there. That was the night she’d realized there was a family feeling missing from her life, and she wanted that back with her mom. If she and her aunt couldn’t fix things, that was fine. But Mia and her mother? There was no reason they couldn’t reclaim their closeness.

A few minutes before six, there was a knock at Mia’s door. She already knew it was her mom, who was nothing less than perfectly punctual. Mia opened the door. “Mom, hi.”

“I couldn’t decide on a wine, partly because I didn’t know what you were going to fix, so I brought pinot grigio and a Grüner Veltliner.” She set her purse down on the kitchen counter. “The young man who was working at the wine shop was very good-looking and seemed quite knowledgeable. He’s studying to become a sommelier. Maybe I could introduce you two?”

“Mom. I’m already in a relationship with Xander. Bishop. The guy I was kissing on the front page of that British tabloid?” Mia could hardly believe she’d just uttered those words. “I don’t need you to set me up with some random guy from the wine shop.”

“If we’re going to talk about this, I’m going to need to open one of these bottles.”

“Yeah. Okay. I’m on it.” Mia went into the kitchen and grabbed two wineglasses, twisted the screw-top cap and gave them each a generous pour. “Here you go.” She presented a glass to her mom.

“Okay. So tell me everything.”

Mia carried the bottle into the living room, put it within easy reach, then she and her mom took seats at opposite ends of the couch. It would’ve been easy—effortless, really—for Mia to overthink the answer she was about to give her mom about her time with Xander, but she really was done with second-guessing herself. So she let it all out, unfiltered. Of course, she left out the sex stuff, which made it more of a short story than a lengthy tale, but it was by and large exactly what had happened while she’d been in England and Austria.

“And that’s how your daughter ends up on the front page of a British tabloid.”

Her mom reached for the wine bottle to give herself a re fill. When she sat back, she shook her head and Mia braced herself for a lecture. “You and I are so alike. This is why you should be a journalist.”

Mia narrowed her sights on her mom. “Um… I’m trying to connect the dots here. How do you come to that conclusion from the story I just told you? And we’ve been through this. I don’t think that’s for me.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, honey. I’m not telling you to get a job. I’m done having that argument with you.”

Well, that much was a huge relief.

“What I’m saying is that your instincts are strong,” her mom continued. “You were right to be hesitant to get involved with Xander. And you were right to want to keep it a secret once you did.”

“If I was so right, then why did everything go wrong?” Mia was desperate for answers since her mom was looking at this from a very different perspective.

“It didn’t. You were sure it would be a disaster if anyone found out and you were right. It went exactly as you thought it would.”

Well, shit. That was of zero comfort. “You know I love to be right. This time, not so much.”

Her mom scooted closer to the edge of the sofa cushion and turned to Mia. “Honey, I only ever give you a hard time because the world should be your oyster. You can do anything you want. So, the question is what do you want to do?”

“That has always been the question, hasn’t it? That’s all anyone is asking me these days.”

“Do you want to know what I think?”

Normally, the answer to that would be no . But everything was upside down right now, so Mia figured she had nothing to lose. “Yes.”

“I think you want everything to make sense. And life isn’t like that. You pick a path and you work hard and you hope for the best. But if something can go wrong, it will. I guarantee you that. Almost nothing in your life will happen the way you think it will.”

“I think that makes it harder to make a decision.”

“Of course it does. But look at it this way. You’ve made the wrong decision before and you’re still here. So, no matter what you decide you want, you’ll survive. You’ll make it through.”

Wow. Her mom was dropping truth bombs like nobody’s business. “This sounds a little weird coming from the person who said I shouldn’t go to Italy because I might get murdered.”

Her mom twisted her lips. “I think I’ve been consuming too much true crime lately.”

“Let me guess. Dateline? The podcast?”

Her mom leaned forward and touched Mia’s arm. “It’s like candy. I can’t stop.”

“I know. I get it.”

They both laughed for a moment, then quiet fell between them and Mia decided this was as good a time as any to broach the most difficult subject between them.

“Mom, is there any hope for you and Aunt Judy reconciling? Because it would mean a lot to me if you mended things.”

Her mom took a long drink of wine. “I’m not sure. Everything that happened between us was so long ago. In some ways I wonder if simply too much time has passed.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

The heaviest sigh Mia had ever heard escaped her mother’s lips. “A lot of it comes down to you, unfortunately.”

“Me?” Mia was shocked to hear the answer.

Her mom nodded silently. “After your father left, I was suddenly a single mom who was trying to have a career and raise a daughter. I needed help, so I asked her to play a bigger part in your life. But she didn’t want the responsibility. She wanted to breeze into town and feed you chocolate ice cream for dinner and get you hooked on Formula One, then leave and forget to call me back for a month. Eventually, I just got sick of it.” Her mother picked at a spot on Mia’s couch. “That wasn’t a one-time thing. It happened over the course of a few years. She kept telling me I didn’t need a man and I should be strong. I should do it all on my own. But the reality was that being a single mom was hard. I was trying to establish my career, not so much out of fulfilling hopes and dreams, but mostly so I could put food on the table and so you could have things like shoes.”

“Mom, why did you never tell me this? I would’ve understood. Completely.”

“Because I was embarrassed. I didn’t want you to know that I ever questioned being capable of raising you on my own. That is not something a mom wants to tell her child.”

Mia knew her mom had made a lot of sacrifices for her, but she hadn’t ever thought about them quite like that. That was another parallel between Mia and Xander—they both were lucky enough to have parents who were willing to go the extra mile for their kid.

“Thank you, Mom. For everything you did.”

“It’s okay. It’s what a mom does. But Judy wants to breeze in and be the fun aunt. And I guess that morning of your Monaco party, I just saw a repeat of the past.” She looked Mia in the eye. “For the record, I don’t hate Formula One. It just brings up bad memories. Maybe you can teach me about it. That would be nice. Maybe it could be something you and I share, too.”

“That would be amazing. I would love that. So much.” Mia felt a bit like she’d been hiding under clouds and was finally seeing a ray of sunshine. “Now that I know more of the backstory, do you think that could pave the way for you and Aunt Judy to spend some time together?”

“What did you have in mind, exactly?”

Mia scooted a little closer on the couch. “Christmas? I have the best memories of you two on Christmas Eve.”

Her mom smiled. “We did have fun, didn’t we? Your dad never liked Christmas much. After he left, Judy and I could revel in it as much as we wanted. And spoil you, of course. For a few years, at least. We both always loved to do that.”

“I just remember feeling so loved and like I was a part of something warm and wonderful. I would love if we could do that again. But only if you’re up for it. I don’t want you to think you aren’t enough family for me. Because you are.”

A tiny tear leaked from the corner of her mom’s eye. “For you, I will make Christmas amazing this year. And we will invite my sister and see how it goes. Does that work?”

Mia was getting misty-eyed, too. “That’s all I could ever ask for.”

“Great. Good.” Her mom pressed her lips together tightly, then smiled. “You know, you haven’t told me how you feel about Xander. Is it serious?”

“I love him.”

“Well, that’s about as serious as it gets.”

“I love him a lot. But I still worry that I don’t really fit into his world.”

“Aren’t you already in his world? Mia, I was there that day for the Monaco race. There were dozens of people attending, all because they value your opinion of the sport. You have a place in his world and, more importantly, you’ve earned it. All on your own. Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t belong there.”

“What if I’m telling myself those things?”

Her mom arched both eyebrows and tilted her head to the side. “Then I think that means that you’re scared.”

“You’re right. I am scared.” It was such a relief to simply admit it.

“Sticking to one thing has always made you nervous, honey. And you’re always second-guessing yourself. But don’t let something silly stand between you and love and whatever you want to do.”

Mia would need some time to mull over that little bit of wisdom, but the timer buzzed in the kitchen.

Mia hopped up from her seat. “That should be the pork. Ready to eat?”

“I am. It smells wonderful. It smells like home.”

Mia turned to her mom. “Good. That’s exactly what I was going for.”