Page 15 of New Year (Reconstruction #3)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“All right, we’re home,” Chase said as soon as Zack closed the door. “Do you want to tell me why Nat looked like he’d been twisted up and then shaken back out? What happened at Shindig?”

Zack sank onto one of the counter stools, hot and confused, and not sure how to answer that. He hadn’t wanted to interrogate Nat while he looked so wild and spooked, and Chase had been his usual understanding self by not asking why they were leaving so abruptly. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Nat was taking a long time coming back, so I went to look for him. I found him behind the bathroom building, sitting on the ground with Clancy Jons and a woman named Sadie with him. There was vomit on the ground, and Nat looked kind of gray.”

“Sun stroke?”

“I don’t think so. He said he wanted to talk in private, so I got him out of there.”

“But? There’s a detail you haven’t mentioned.”

Zack drummed his fingers on the countertop. “Mr. Jons deliberately mentioned they had security cameras on the grounds, which leads me to believe Nat had an altercation he doesn’t want to talk about yet.”

“His ex?” The darkness in Chase’s voice surprised him. Chase was in his recliner, across the room, but anger still radiated from him.

“Very likely, yes. I didn’t want to interrogate him in front of strangers. I could tell he was embarrassed and shaken up. Thank you, by the way, for not being nosy.”

“I could tell something wasn’t right. I care about Nat. Obviously, not the way you do, if that furious thundercloud hovering over your head for the last thirty minutes is any sign of your feelings. I’m pretty sure your glare could have parted the Red Sea the way it parted other patrons.”

“I wanted to get Nat somewhere safe and comfortable. If he did see Austin at Shindig today, then I probably made the whole encounter worse.”

“How? You were sitting next to me at a picnic table.”

Zack moved from the stool to the couch and tried to pick his words so he didn’t overshare Nat’s private business. “Nat had a moment this morning. A flashback. We talked, and it did have to do with his ex, Austin. It was probably still in the back of his mind if he saw Austin today. I can’t think of another reason why he’d upchuck in such a public place.”

Chase slammed his cane against the side of the recliner. “Son of a bitch. I’m not going to ask what this Austin asshole put Nat through. I’m old enough to make an educated guess. Just take care of him, okay?”

“Of course, I will.”

“And it might not be a bad idea to find out what this Austin’s last name is. Know what he looks like.”

“You’re right. Today was probably an accidental meeting, but now Austin knows that Nat is still in Reynolds. He might come looking for him. Men who like to control others don’t like being left. They want to be the ones with the final say.”

“Yeah. They do. And like I said before, I have a shotgun.”

Zack pulled out a smile for his oldest friend. “I doubt it will come to that, but it’s nice to know. I better go see to Nat.”

“Go, go. I’m fine.”

“Call me if you need help with dinner.”

“With all the food I packed away today? I’ll probably just make a sandwich later.”

Zack leaned down to kiss the top of Chase’s head before leaving. He used his keys to turn the deadbolt on Chase’s door, then let himself into his own place. He left his shoes by the door, unsure how clean they were, and followed the sound of running water into the bathroom. It was hard to believe that less than eight hours ago, they’d had such a lovely shower together.

“Nat?”

“I’m here.”

Kind of obvious, but okay. “What can I do?”

“Get in with me?”

Zack shed his clothes fast and tossed them on top of Nat’s pile. He’d wash everything later. Nat was sitting on the bottom of the tub, his back to the spray, which cascaded from his neck to his shoulders, and all the way down. Zack didn’t have a lot of room, but he mimicked Nat’s position, putting his feet on either side of Nat’s hips. It was uniquely intimate, considering they were both naked and drenched in hot water.

Nat’s chin rested on his knees, eyes half-shut under the onslaught of water, but he seemed more at peace than before. “Is Chase okay?”

“He’s fine,” Zack replied. “He’d worried about you. So am I.”

“I know. We’ll talk soon. Sit with me?”

“Of course.”

They sat together until the hot water began running cool. Zack was stiff and sore from not moving for so long, and sitting in such a weird position, but he still got them both on their feet. Dried Nat off then sent him to get dressed, while Zack dried and put on his robe. He took a few extra minutes to gather his thoughts and compartmentalize his anger at Austin. The shower had helped slough off some of his negative emotions, but he didn’t want to do or say anything to further stress out Nat.

The bedroom was empty. Zack grabbed a pair of gym shorts and a clean t-shirt. He found Nat on the corner of the sofa, dressed in sweats, even though the apartment’s warmish temperature left Zack uncomfortable in his chosen clothes. But if Nat wanted to be covered up, Zack wouldn’t comment. He did tick the air conditioning down a few degrees for himself.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Zack asked. “Coffee? Soda? I think there’s some cranberry juice left”

“Cold water would be great, thanks.”

“Right.” He poured them each a glass and brought them back to the sofa. Sat in the middle, close to Nat, while still giving him space.

Nat sipped his water. His color was better but his eyes were still haunted. “I can’t believe you knelt in my barf.”

The complete non-sequitur startled Zack into laughing. “Well, I didn’t give it a lot of thought. You were upset, and I needed to do something.”

“Still. Austin hated that kind of stuff. I had the stomach flu once, and he stayed in a hotel while I suffered alone in our apartment.”

Zack growled. “Did you see Austin today?”

“Yeah.” Nat put his glass on the coffee table and wrapped his arms around his legs, hugging his knees close. “I was leaving the bathroom and someone grabbed my arm. Austin dragged me over toward the back wall. Trapped me there. Asked where I’d been. Acted like he was so relieved to see me, that he’d been worried since I disappeared.”

His lack of real inflection didn’t give Zack any emotional clues to go on, but that didn’t stop a flash of fury that Austin had put his hands on Nat. “Did he threaten you?”

“Not really. He said I did a bad thing, and he was disappointed in me. His tone was…angry, but we were in public, so he couldn’t hurt me. But I couldn’t do or say anything. I just froze like a complete fucking coward.”

“Freezing isn’t cowardly, Nat. It’s how you protect yourself, by minimizing damage.”

“Maybe.” Nat extended one hand; Zack squeezed it tight, so happy Nat had reached out first. “He asked if I wanted to drive out to our spot. It’s this picnic spot in the mountains by Sparrow Creek, semi-private. I obviously didn’t want to go, but then he had his hand on my hip, and his hand started to grab my ass, and everything just went gray. I didn’t plan to vomit on him, but I’m glad I did. He ran away.”

“It was definitely a creative way to scare off an ex.” He drew Nat’s hand up so he could kiss his knuckles. “I am so sorry he scared you so badly today. I should have gone with you.”

“To the bathroom?” Nat yanked his hand back, scowling. “I’m an adult, and I was having a fantastic time today. Austin was in the very back of my mind, and he caught me completely off guard. If I’d needed to take a piss five minutes sooner or waited five minutes longer, we might never have seen each other. It was pure chance.”

“Are you sure?”

“No. I want to believe it, but no, I’m not sure. How can I be? I do believe he’s been looking for me, which is why I stayed under the radar for so long. But today was a lot of fun. Until it wasn’t. I’m just sick of hiding from him, you know? He’s a user and a bully, but he’s not the bogeyman. He scared me a little today, but he wasn’t going to hurt me.”

“Not in public. But I’ve known men like Austin. Brett was the exact same kind of guy. A user and abuser, and a narcissist who doesn’t like being left. Austin wants to be the one to dump you, and I’m worried now. That he’s going to try and do something to put you in your place.”

Nat picked at the knee of his sweats. “I know he could. He did it before. Last year.”

When Nat didn’t elaborate, Zack asked, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Last fall, Austin and I broke up. I thought it was mutual, but looking back, it was definitely Austin’s decision, so I moved on. I ended up dating this amazing guy named Angelo for about a month. Things were great with him, and I honestly started seeing a future for us.” Nat’s faint smile flattened. “Then Austin wanted to get back with me. He threatened Angelo if I didn’t break up with him.”

Zack’s eyebrows hit his hairline. “He threatened to hurt your current boyfriend, unless you dumped him and went back to Austin?”

“Yeah. I know what Austin is capable of, and he knew who Angelo was, what his business was, who his friends were. I couldn’t risk Austin screwing any of that up for him.”

“Did, um.” Zack fisted his hands, trying to send his rising anger into the pain of his fingernails digging into his palms. He didn’t want any of it directed at Nat, or to scare Nat into not answering. “Did Austin punish you?”

Nat nodded. “Outside of sex, Austin wasn’t very physical. His punishments were more psychological, because mental scars are easier to hide from your coworkers. Instead of hitting me, he’d give me the silent treatment at home. Only order dinner for him and not for me. Criticize everything I did, even if I knew I’d done it perfectly. Every time I had so much as a sniffle, he’d treat it like the plague, like I’d end up back in the hospital having another surgery.”

The scars Zack had never asked about. Nat sounded more angry than upset, so Zack pressed a bit more. “Another surgery? How many have you had?”

“Three. But that’s my mother, and I don’t want to talk about her yet.”

“Okay. So, Austin mentally abused you to keep you in line.”

“And with money. Uh, financial abuse? That’s what it’s called? He demanded I give him my paychecks. Sometimes I’d keep some of my cash tips for myself, but I had to be careful that he didn’t notice me buying extra things. Usually, I’d splurge on food, or I’d buy a couple of re-usable credit cards to stash away. They helped me get a motel for the first few nights after I left him, but then I ran out of money.”

“But you were thinking ahead, and that’s smart, Nat. It was really smart. Austin created a hostile environment that made it difficult for you to leave. But you did. When he pushed you too far.” Zack rubbed his leg, hoping Nat would uncoil a little. His words were flowing more freely as he spoke about the horrors of his past, but his body language was still a steel barrier between them.

“Yeah, he did.”

“Do you want to tell me about how he pushed you to leave him?”

“No, but I need to. I need to talk about it.” Nat finally unfolded his legs and stretched them out over Zack’s lap. The intimate posture change sent a joyful flutter through Zack’s chest. Nat’s hands rested on his lap, fingers twisted together. But he looked at Zack when he spoke, instead of down. “We were living together when Tim’s exploded. I was near the end of my rope then, but I hadn’t…the noose wasn’t tight enough. Not until I nearly died that night, and I saw two people I care about nearly die, too.”

“I cannot imagine how terrified you were.”

“All the terror was after. I just remember putting a stool on the bar, and then I was coughing and my arm was killing me, and Sasha was screaming my name. We found Angelo and got him out. I don’t think it hit me until paramedics were stabilizing my wrist and they said I’d likely fractured it. The adrenaline wore off. At the hospital, I gave them Austin’s number to call as my emergency contact.” A single tear slipped from Nat’s right eye. “He didn’t come until the next morning. I was alone for ten hours.”

“Fucker.” Two of Zack’s knuckles popped. He forced his hands to relax so he didn’t spontaneously sprain something. “Why? Just because he’s an asshole?”

“He told me that because I had a closing shift, he fell asleep early with his ringer off, which I believed because I was on painkillers, but I found out later it wasn’t the truth. He was great during my discharge, attentive, asked the doctor and nurses questions. Even when we were alone, he assured me it was okay that I wouldn’t have a job for a while. I could still earn my keep.”

Alarms screamed in the back of Zack’s brain. “What the fuck does that mean?”

“It was something that slid into our relationship so slowly that, by the time it escalated, I didn’t know how to stop it. Or say no. Not until after the last time.”

“Sweetheart.” Nat didn’t protest when Zack pulled him across the sofa so Nat was in Zack’s favorite position: right on Zack’s lap. “Please, tell me. I won’t judge you for anything, you know that.”

“I know.” Nat rested his head on Zack’s shoulder, obscuring his face, but that was okay. If Nat needed to confess to Zack’s chest, he’d listen and accept and love him. “Austin loves social media. He lives for the attention. The validation. After we were together for about six months, he convinced me to open an account on a private video site. Featuring the two of us. Having sex behind a paywall, for paying subscribers.”

So many things snapped into place for Zack. Comments and insinuations from Nat, and the pieces Zack had filled in on his own. “He made you have sex on that website after you’d nearly died? How soon after?”

“Four days.” Before Zack could launch off the sofa, Nat said, “He tried four days after. We drove an hour to this guy’s house, who’d paid extra for us to film live in front of him. But when the host saw me, he hesitated. Then while we were setting up the camera, he changed his mind.” Nat coughed. “He looked at me, and it was the first time I saw real pity in someone’s face. He paid Austin for gas and his time driving out, but that was it. No upload. No live. Austin lost money. So he took it out on me at home.”

“Fuck.”

“It’s okay.” Nat clutched at Zack’s shoulders, his entire body shuddering once. “But it was Austin’s complete carelessness with me that did it. Chasing clout and money, and completely forgetting I was a real person he was using for both. I was as much of a prop to him as his phone or his ring light. But I also knew I couldn’t leave until my arm healed, so I put up with it. Did what I was told, when I was told. And then the fundraiser for Tim’s rebuilding fund happened.”

“I take it Austin didn’t like that you were participating?”

“No, he didn’t, because it took my attention off him. But I stood my ground, and I helped Sasha organize things. It wasn’t until Austin found out that Angelo was also involved that things escalated to physical violence.”

New fury rippled through Zack, and he fought to maintain his composure when everything in him insisted he find something to punish. Or someone. “Tell me. Please?”

Nat shuddered. “Two days before the fundraiser, Austin got drunk and wanted sex. At this point, I hated him and wanted nothing to do with him, but complying was easier than fighting. Easier than tipping him off to how close I was to leaving him. But in the middle of fucking me, he just punched me in the face. I was so startled that I didn’t do anything at first. When he hit me again, I tried to fight back, to get him off me, but he just put a pillow over my face and kept going until he came. Honest to Christ, Zack, I thought he was going to suffocate me. That I was dead because of what he said while he was doing it.”

Pure, unadulterated rage coursed through Zack’s body, hot and stifling, that his sweet, gentle Nat had been beaten and raped, had his life threatened by someone who’d once pretended to care about him. It took all of Zack’s strength to keep his voice steady and ask, “Which was what?”

Nat sat up. His face was streaked with tears that seemed to be falling on their own accord. Nat’s body was crying for its own pain, while his mind was occupied elsewhere. “He said I better not dare go back to working at Tim’s, or he’d have to blow it up again.”

Zack’s entire body jerked, hot rage replaced by cold shock. “What? He took credit for the boiler explosion?”

“Yes. I don’t know if he was telling the truth or just trying to scare me into submission, but I believed him. That’s when I made the decision to leave, and I did. Because his job is social media, and he was home a lot, I had to wait for him to leave the apartment, so I could put stuff into a backpack and finally run.”

“My God, Nat. I suspected the things you told me, but fuck.”

“It sounds so much worse when it’s said out loud.”

“But sometimes saying it can take away some of its power over us. Thank you for being honest with me. Your trust is a generous gift.”

“You can’t tell anyone what I said about Austin and the boiler. He’d kill me if he knew I repeated it.”

“With time and hindsight, do you think he could have tampered with the boiler? Actually cause an explosion that could have killed people?”

“I don’t know. Which is almost as scary as saying yes, because it means I can’t rule out the possibility. Even though the fire inspectors ruled it an accident and not arson…you never know. But I also can’t think of a way he could have done it, unless he broke in without being detected. They have security systems. So, it was probably bullshit.”

“But you also believe Austin is capable of such terror.”

“Yeah. I do.”

“Do you believe that Austin might target you? Now that he knows you’re still in Reynolds?”

“Yes, I do.” Nat sobbed once. “But he’s smart. Calculating. If he suspects I’ve told anyone about the things he did to me, he knows he’d be the number one suspect if anything happens to me. Since I haven’t blasted him on social media, there’s a chance he’ll just…let it go. Move on.”

“Except men like him don’t let things go, not when you’re the one who left him.”

“Yeah, there’s that.” Nat’s eyes unfocused briefly, then he snapped his head back, as if startled by his own thoughts. “I left, and Austin has nothing to threaten me with to make me go back to him. Not family, not a public-facing job, and I don’t give a shit about the porn that’s out there. I would never have agreed to do it if I was ashamed of it. His only leverage is you.”

Zack frowned. “Me?” Then it clicked. “You said he threatened to hurt Angelo if you didn’t dump him.”

“He did, and I believe he would have. What if he finds out I’m with you, and he does something? What if he blows up River Bistro?” Nat was shaking all over now, his eyes wide and panicked, and that dinged Zack’s protective instincts.

He pulled Nat close and hugged him tight, all his earlier fury re-focusing into comforting Nat. Giving him all the strength he could so Nat would believe his words. “I can handle a guy like Austin. Please, don’t make yourself sick worrying about that. River Bistro will be fine, I promise.”

“You can’t promise that.”

“Maybe not, but I’m promising anyway. I’ll keep you safe.”

“What about when I’m out with Chase?”

“North Carolina is an open carry state. If you can legally buy a gun, you can carry it.”

“I’ve never held a gun before in my life. Not even a BB gun.”

“Then I’ll buy you a Taser. Pepper spray. You’ll have weapons. And if Austin makes any attempt at contacting you, I’ll set him straight on why that’s a very bad idea.”

Nat sat up so fast he nearly clipped Zack’s chin with the top of his head. “No, Zack, I couldn’t stand it if you got in trouble because of me.”

“If I get in trouble for handing Austin his ass, it’ll be his fault, not yours. I can’t do anything about all the things he did to you in the past. But can I fucking well do something to keep him from hurting you in the future. I’ll even get doorbell cameras and exterior cameras for the house, so you and Chase are safe when you’re here at home.” Zack clasped Nat’s twitching hands and held them close to his own heart. “I have strong feelings for you, Nathaniel. I’m scared to call it love, because we’ve only known each other a few weeks, but it’s strong. And warm and wonderful. I want to go to sleep with you and wake up with you, and to share meals with you. I want you in my life, and I will do everything in my power to keep you safe.”

Nat’s eyes glimmered with more tears. “I feel the same way. The night we met, it was like meeting an old, old friend again. We were strangers, but we knew each other. And I want to keep you safe, too. Safe from Austin and his bullshit revenge ideas. I don’t know what I’d do if he hurt you.”

“Since we seem to be on the same page about keeping each other safe and exacting revenge, I have a proposition.”

“Okay.”

“I propose we live our lives.” Nat opened his mouth, and Zack pressed a gentle finger to his lips. “We live our lives, and we take precautions. We arm ourselves, but we do not live in fear. We live carefully, but we live. If Austin does something, we will deal with it together. But Nat? He has already taken so much from you. Don’t let him make you live in fear. Don’t give him your joy.”

Nat’s eyes went liquid and his lower lip trembled. “You’re right. Austin gets nothing else from me. Neither of us lives in fear. Deal?”

Zack pressed his lips to Nat’s in a tender, promise-affirming kiss. “Deal.”