Page 13 of New Year (Reconstruction #3)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Nat was used to waking up groggy on the morning after, often hungover, and not always certain what had happened the night before. Not this morning, as his slumbering brain allowed him to slowly wake to comfort, safety, and Zack’s gentle snoring. Nat was on his stomach, arms curled beneath his pillow, which he seemed to be sharing with Zack. Zack’s right arm was draped across his back, a solid, protective weight.

Sure, his hole was tender and he had to pee, but he wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t sick or exhausted or nervous to wake his bed partner. He was actually eager to get his mouth around a certain part of Zack’s body that he hadn’t managed to taste last night. Zack had been wholly focused on Nat’s pleasure, not his own, and it was time for Nat to rain a bit of attention down on his…roommate? Partner? What?

The label didn’t matter yet.

He freed his right arm, which jostled Zack awake enough that he stopped snoring. Nat didn’t have a lot of maneuvering room in this position, but he managed to reached around and stroke the arm resting on his back.

“Mmm,” Zack mumbled. Lips brushed the back of Nat’s neck. “Morning.”

“Very good morning.” He pushed Zack’s hand down to rest on his ass. “Thank you for last night.”

Zack gamely groped him. “You are very welcome. How do you feel?”

Nat twisted around so he was facing Zack, his dick thickening at the sight of the sleepy-eyed man in bed with him. “A little sore but in the very best way. That was…intense.”

“It was. I didn’t get carried away?”

“Not a bit.” Nat dragged his fingers through the coarse hair on Zack’s chest, admiring the small whorls of gray mixed with the brown. Down his lower belly to tease his pubes. “But there’s something I didn’t get to do.”

Zack’s eyes glittered. “Oh?”

“Yep.” He shoved Zack onto his back, earning a startled chuff of laughter from Zack. The covers fell back, and Nat straddled Zack’s knees. Took a moment to admire the expanse of Zack’s torso and chest and dusky nipples. The way his fat cock seemed to thicken as Nat studied it, pleased to see he hadn’t imagined Zack’s length or girth. “All for me?”

“As much as you want, sweetheart.”

Nat’s heart surged with affection. He grasped Zack’s cock at the base and began to lightly jack him, while he studied every flicker in Zack’s wide, intensely blue eyes. Eyes that seemed to look right into Nat’s soul and liked what they saw there, even when Nat didn’t like himself very much. Zack saw something no one else had before, and he needed to hold onto that for as long as possible.

As much as he hated breaking eye contact, Nat was desperate to taste Zack. He licked the crown of Zack’s cock, putting the first hint of Zack’s essence on his tongue. Zack huffed and his thighs clenched, but he didn’t direct, control, or demand. He let Nat play, licking and sucking around the glans and into the slit, drawing out little beads of precome, while one hand held him and the other massaged his balls. Slow and steady, a long tease that Nat could perform for hours.

But he also wanted to thank Zack for his deep-throating skills. Nat took a breath, relaxed his throat, and took as much of Zack’s cock into his mouth as possible. It nudged its way into his throat, cutting off his air, but Nat was safe. He pulled back, then went down again, rubbing the underside of Zack’s cock with his tongue. Over and over, he sucked and licked and made love to Zack’s dick, trying to give Zack as much joy and pleasure as he’d given Nat last night.

He also did his best to make Zack squirm, to break the discipline that kept Zack’s hands on the bed, instead of grabbing or forcing. The concentration to just lay there and take whatever Nat decided to give him. Nat wasn’t used to passive partners, and it was both thrilling and confusing. Thrilling, because he’d never had this kind of power over another man’s pleasure before; confusing for the same reason.

He didn’t know how to be in control for the entire encounter.

Instead of dwelling on it, Nat focused on giving Zack the best blow job he could, taking turns licking his balls and bobbing on his dick, and drawing every ounce of pleasure possible from the man who’d taken such good care of him last night. Eventually, Zack’s control began slipping. His hips jerked, his hands bunched in the sheet, and his legs trembled with the exertion of staying still.

“Getting close,” Zack panted. “Don’t have…to swallow.”

Nat released his slick cock. “Do you have anything?”

“No.”

“Good.” He went right back down on him, and when Zack’s cock pulsed in his mouth, he did his best to swallow the load. Some spilled and he licked that up, enjoying the salty-bitter flavor, because it had been his choice . A new kind of joy surged inside Nat’s chest, and he used that energy to lick his way up Zack’s body. Past his navel, over soft abs, across his hairy chest. He nibbled at the stubble on Zack’s throat and chin, before sealing his mouth over Zack’s.

Zack thrust his tongue deeply into Nat’s mouth, as if trying to find the last remnants of his own come. Nat collapsed on top of Zack, his erection pressing into Zack’s belly, in no hurry to address the issue. Holding each other was too amazing to interrupt yet. Zack’s hands stroked up and down his back, occasionally low enough to squeeze his buttocks. Nat pressed his face into Zack’s neck and inhaled the man.

They held each other for a while, Nat dozing until the chill on his bare skin sent a ripple of goose bumps across his neck and shoulders.

Zack kissed his temple. “What do you need?”

“A hot shower.” He raised up so he could rub his nose against Zack’s. “I’m good, I promise.”

“Okay.”

The shower was a decent size, but a little awkward with both of them. Nat loved every moment of it, though, all the elbows and knees and bumping chests. Zack used body wash to help Nat with his morning wood, then cleaned him up. They dried each other off. Nat had to go into the living room for clean clothes, which felt a bit weird, but that wasn’t actually his bedroom.

In the bright morning sunlight, the entire night before—from the date to the mind-blowing sex—felt like a lovely dream. Far away and unlikely to repeat. It left him a touch melancholy while Zack brewed coffee and made them both frozen toaster waffles with syrup. Nat didn’t even think to check his cell for texts or messages until Zack checked his own phone.

“Chase says good morning,” Zack said with a grin. “Said he’d be all right today if we were stuck in a honeymoon period.”

Nat choked. “What?”

“I told you that I told Chase we had a date last night. I guess he saw the chemistry between us, too, and assumed we’d spend the night together.”

“I mean…” Nat had no reason to be embarrassed about having had fantastic sex with Zack—even though it was a little odd, knowing Chase had slept with Zack, too, once upon a time. “We do live together, so we were obviously spending the night.”

Zack chuckled. “Well, yes, but I’m pretty sure he foresaw us sharing my bed again. Which I very much loved, by the way. You in my bed.”

“I loved it, too. I haven’t slept that soundly in a long time.”

“I’m glad I could give you peace to rest.”

“You did. But, um, what happens tonight?”

Zack pulled two mugs out of a cupboard. “Tonight?”

“Yeah. Do I go back to sleeping on the sofa bed? Do we do it again? Sex and sleeping together?”

Instead of answering, Zack put the mugs on the counter and circled to stand next to Nat. Rested his hands on Nat’s hips. “What do you want to happen tonight?”

“I’m not sure. Part of me wants to sleep with you every night, to throw caution away and just fall head-first into this. But there’s another part of me that’s terrified of being wrong.” Nat swallowed against the tears thickening his throat. “I don’t think I could handle it if you became another person I have to survive.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Zack tucked him close to his chest, and Nat cinched his arms around Zack’s waist. He loved these full-body hugs that left him feeling safe, protected, and cherished. Loved. “I don’t want that, either. I want to take care of you and prove to you that there are good men out there who deserve your trust. And your love. I know it’s only been a few weeks, but I have strong feelings for you, Nathaniel Hawking.”

“Me too.” God, but he did have feelings for Zack. Big feelings, and those feelings scared him, because he’d been wrong before. He wanted to take the leap into a relationship, but he was also terrified of crashing to the bottom again.

The toaster popped up two waffles.

“What if we take things a day at a time?” Zack asked. “Hell, half a day. Let’s have breakfast. I don’t go into work until after brunch is over, so we’ve got time. Tomorrow’s my day off. If Chase doesn’t need you all day, maybe we can do something. Go out to lunch or see a movie.”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. No big rush into things. But if you want, you can put your clothing tub in the bedroom. Maybe hang a few shirts in the closet?”

Nat grinned, loving that Zack said the bedroom and not my bedroom. “Okay. I like that plan.”

“Excellent.”

* * *

Monday morning, Chase needed Nat for a few hours to drive him to a doctor’s appointment, and then agreed to release him in the afternoon to spend time with Zack. Nat hadn’t been alone with Chase since before Saturday night’s amazing date with Zack—Chase had napped most of Sunday and not wanted company—so he wasn’t sure what to expect when he went next door to fetch Chase.

Chase was in his recliner with his double-handled mug of coffee, and a morning program on television. He was dressed and smiled brightly when Nat entered the living room. “Good morning, young Nathaniel.”

“Morning, Chase. Did you have a good weekend? I didn’t really see you.”

“I did, yes. But I think I overdid it Saturday by working at River Bistro so late. I slept most of yesterday.” He didn’t seem annoyed with himself, which Chase sometimes did when speaking of his limitations. Just accepting of the consequences of pushing himself too hard.

“How do you feel today?”

“A little more energetic than the last few days. How are you feeling?”

Nat’s breath caught. “I feel fine.”

“Are you going to need a pillow to sit on today?”

“Dude.” Nat’s face flushed. “What did Zack tell you?”

“Breathe, my friend, he didn’t give me any details about anything. I’m assuming, because I’m horny and a little jealous, and because I know how good Zack is in bed when he gets going.”

The complete lack of anything except kindness in Chase’s hopeful smile kept Nat from taking offense, or from being even a smidgen jealous of Zack and Chase’s history. Nat and Zack hadn’t had penetrative sex last night; they’d rubbed off together before falling asleep in Zack’s bed. Their bed?

He also didn’t want any misunderstandings between himself and Chase. “I’m not taking advantage of Zack for a place to stay.”

“I know. I don’t think anyone could truly take advantage of Zack when he’s in full control, which he always has been. At least, he’s been in full control when I’ve been in his life, and that’s not tooting my own horn. It’s just the man I know now and knew back then.” Chase carefully put his coffee mug on the side table. “Am I fucking this up? I’m not trying to offend you, Nat. I really hope if you and Zack had sex that you’re happy about it. He’s an amazing person, and I think you’re pretty great, too. I think you two could be great together.”

Nat stepped deeper into the room and perched on the corner of the couch, nerves soothed by Chase’s complete acceptance of Nat into Zack’s life. “I think we’re pretty great together, too. Zack’s amazing. He’s…kind.”

“And kindness is hard to find nowadays?”

“Yeah. Really hard.”

“Hard enough to need a pillow?”

“Not answering that.”

“Fair. Can I safely assume he told you about Brett and Riley?”

“He did.” Nat picked at the hem of his shirt. “I can relate to someone you care about turning into a completely different person than the one you thought you knew. I’m glad everything turned out good with Riley.”

“So am I. My heart broke for him when Zack first told me that story. Zack had become a man I’d never met. I’m proud of him for recognizing the dangerous path he was on and self-correcting. I’m proud of anyone who finally says enough, and walks away.” His intense gaze silently said that pride was extended to Nat, too, even though Nat had never shared details of his relationship with Austin.

“It’s not easy to admit you’ve made a huge mistake,” Nat said slowly. “Not to yourself or to other people.”

“No, it isn’t. I hope you’ve discussed your own mistake with our Zack?”

“The broad strokes. I’m not ready to paint in the details.”

“And you don’t have to be. You haven’t been out of your situation for all that long. Do it in your own time.” Chase winked. “But in the meantime, let Zack take care of you. If you allow it, he’ll treat you like the prince you are.”

Nat was no prince. He also wasn’t a complete fool, and he would continue developing his relationship with Zack. Take care of Zack and let Zack take care of him—unless or until things became intolerable again. If the worst happened, Nat didn’t know what he’d do. So he didn’t think about it.

Live in the moment. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Because nothing good in his life ever lasted. But he could enjoy this while he had it: a safe home, a steady job, a friend next door, and a maybe-boyfriend-roommate. Enjoy it and keep making amazing memories to take with him when things crashed back down to earth.

Things always crashed.

“Ready to go?” Chase asked. “We’d better go, or I’ll be late to spend thirty minutes past my appointment time sitting in the waiting room, because everything is scheduled too close together.”

Nat laughed at the perfect description of appointment times at any medical office, no matter how early in the day you scheduled it. “Yeah, let’s get going.”

It took Chase two tries to stand from the recliner and a few extra seconds to start walking. Nat followed him through the kitchen to the mud room door. Grabbed the car keys from the hook next to the coat rack.

“You sure you don’t need that pillow for your behind?” Chase quipped.

“Ask me again and you’re driving yourself.”

With a saucy smirk, Chase mimicked locking his lips with a key. Nat rolled his eyes and then followed his friend/boss to the car.