Page 9 of Never Doubt I Love (Calloway #3)

Olivia let out a deep sigh as she traced the track of a raindrop on the window with her eyes. She followed it until it combined with three others and disappeared beyond the glass, and then she looked back up to find another. “I thought Town would be more exciting than this.”

Lucy clucked her tongue, her eyes focused on the thread in her fingers. “I may not have been out in Society when I lived here in London, but I have already had more excitement in the last month than I did in my entire life. You should count yourself lucky.”

“Lucky that it has been raining for two days and I’ve been trapped within these walls?” She rested her chin on her arms on the window seat. “I am so dreadfully bored, Lucy, and I wish someone would brave this weather to come visit. I would even take a gentleman or two.”

“Why bother with calling gentlemen if you are only going to turn them away as soon as you find a flaw? What is the matter with blond hair, anyway?”

Absolutely nothing. She had only told Mr. Harris that she would have preferred his hair to be dark because he had said something about wishing he could improve the state of his lands if only he had more income. Apparently, Nick had passed her remark along to Simon, who had in turn told Lucy, and they had both scolded her for it.

“I simply do not think Mr. Harris and I would suit,” Olivia said, sighing again. “Is it a crime for me to want a love match like you found with Simon?”

Lucy laughed. She had been embroidering all morning, but she put it aside to fix her gaze on Olivia. “First of all, should you really be sitting on the floor like that? That is hardly the way to attract a gentleman.”

Olivia glanced around the room with exaggerated movements, searching for any gentlemen in sight.

“Second of all,” Lucy continued, “you hardly know Mr. Harris. From what I heard, you spoke to him for all of ten minutes and ignored him the rest of the evening despite being his dinner partner. If Simon and I had only spoken for a few moments like that, we never would have fallen in love. It takes time, Olivia.”

Olivia scoffed. “It took you and my brother a week. I would hardly consider that ‘time.’”

“What of Nick and Emma? They knew each other for nearly two months before their feelings grew into affection.”

Sighing once more, Olivia picked herself off the floor to join her sister-in-law on the settee. “I expected my come-out to be different,” she admitted.

Lucy took hold of her hand. “What did you expect?”

“I don’t know. I hoped for more... magic? That probably doesn’t make much sense.”

“No, it does not,” Lucy admitted.

Olivia shifted in her seat to face Lucy. “For instance... perhaps I would be at a ball and meet the gaze of a handsome gentleman across the room. He would ask me to dance—after we were introduced, of course—and our hands would touch.”

“You forget you are wearing gloves if you are at a ball.”

Cursed gloves, always getting in the way. Olivia was not wearing gloves now, and she looked down at her fingers. Long and pale, like they hadn’t seen a day of work. They hadn’t, and Olivia had never really considered how fortunate she had been all her life. Losing her father when she was only fifteen had been difficult—of course it had—but Simon had stepped into his role so fully that sometimes Olivia forgot that he had not always been the one to look after her. She had never had to work to survive, and with a dowry as large as hers, she likely never would.

“Yes, I would be wearing gloves, as would he, but there would still be a connection . As if our souls were finally reunited after being apart our whole lives. And throughout the whole dance he would ask me questions about me . About what I enjoy and what I fear. And the rest of the ballroom would simply disappear around us.”

Lucy snickered. “This is quite the expectation you have.”

Olivia scowled at her. “I am only saying I hope to recognize love when I find it. I have yet to feel even a taste of it with any of the men I have met thus far.” Whenever Nick had come to visit Simon over the years, Olivia had always felt a fluttering in her stomach, like wings of birds or butterflies. It was thrilling and exciting, and she had always imagined she would feel the same when she found a man she might love.

Nothing had taken flight inside her in weeks. Even around Nick. Perhaps she was broken.

“Again,” Lucy said, “love takes time, Liv. You cannot force it, nor can you ignore it. And you must always tend to it, or it will wither until it is barely alive.” Squeezing her hand, Lucy gave her a moment to consider that before she continued. “Not everyone is fortunate enough to marry for love, and you should not take your circumstances lightly. You will end up an old maid if you are not careful, still waiting for a perfect man to appear. I will let you in on a secret, Liv.” She leaned in close, smiling wickedly. “There is no such thing as a perfect man.”

Olivia couldn’t help but smile back. “What about Simon?”

“I love Simon with my whole heart, but he is far from perfect. He works too hard and forgets when he promises to join me for a quiet morning in.”

As if summoned by her words, Simon burst into the sitting room, out of breath and his hair a mess. “Lucy! North brought to my attention an issue with one of the trading companies, and we were...” His words faded as he crouched in front of Lucy and took her hands. “Forgive me, my love? I have no excuse other than being a fool.”

Beaming, Lucy placed her palm on his cheek. “You are here now, and that is all that matters.”

Hastings, the butler, cleared his throat in the doorway before Simon could respond. “Lord Alexander Bailey here to see you, my lord.”

As a sudden flock of birds fluttered to life in Olivia’s stomach, Simon’s shoulders slumped as he looked back at Lucy. “Lord Alexander wishes to talk business,” he remembered out loud. “I could turn him away.”

“No!” Olivia’s face flushed as both Simon and Lucy turned to her. She had spoken out of surprise more than anything, confused by the sudden nerves in her belly. “That is, I do not think you should insult the brother of a duke, Simon. You may not like His Grace, but he does have a good deal of influence, does he not?”

She immediately regretted her words when Lucy’s expression fell to disappointment. Lucy hardly spent any time with Simon as it was because of his many businesses, and especially during the Season, when Simon had his duties in Lords, he was gone even more.

Olivia bit her lip. “Perhaps I could entertain Lord Alexander for a few moments to give you a little time with your wife. I cannot speak of business, but I can buy you a few minutes.”

Grimacing, Simon was shaking his head before Olivia even finished speaking. “I will not have you alone with that man, Olivia.”

“They will not be alone,” Lucy said with a scoff. “Wilson can be in the room with them.”

Olivia hardly thought she needed the footman’s protection in her own home, but she had no intention of ignoring propriety. “I am not a fool, Simon. And Lord Alexander is hardly a suitor. Merely a friend.” She said that as much to the birds inside her as she did to Simon.

“Friend? Ha!” He shook his head, as if the idea of a man befriending a female was preposterous. “Lucy and I were friends, and look what happened with us.”

Lucy snickered. “I did not see you as a friend for very long, Simon.”

“Exactly.”

“Lord Alexander has shown no direct interest in me,” Olivia argued, again to convince herself as well as her family. “We have spoken on several occasions now, and the only reason he is here is to call on you. It has nothing to do with me.”

“Then, perhaps I should speak with him quickly and send him on his way,” Simon said.

“Simon,” Lucy and Olivia said at the same time.

“It likely took courage for the man to approach you about this sort of thing,” Lucy said. “He knows there are few professions he can take up with his social standing, and he could have gone to anyone for advice. But he came to you, a man who has disregarded tradition from the moment he took up the mantle as baron. Surely his choice counts for something.”

Sighing, Simon rubbed his thumb over hers. “But I promised to spend the morning with you, my darling.”

“After you agreed to meet with Lord Alexander,” Olivia reminded him.

Lucy smiled. “Allow Olivia some time with her friend—supervised, of course—and I will accept a few moments of your time as a replacement for your undivided attention. For now.”

Olivia did not wait for Simon to agree, hopping up from the settee and making her way to the parlor, where Lord Alexander would likely be waiting.

Hastings was hot on her tail. “I will fetch Wilson,” the butler told her as they reached the parlor.

Olivia thanked him, smoothed her skirts, and made sure her hair was in its proper place, and then she tried to swallow the birds that had moved from her stomach to her throat the closer she got to the parlor. She still could not understand why she was nervous to see the man when she had conversed with him so easily each time she’d encountered him, but she was determined not to let those nerves show.

“Lord Alexander!” she greeted as she stepped into the room.

He had been examining the painting above the mantel, but he turned at the sound of her voice, his expression full of surprise. “Miss Calloway.”

Olivia dipped into a curtsy, confused to find her knees trembling as she did. “My brother is momentarily occupied and asked if I might keep you company until he is able to meet with you. I hope you are not too disappointed.”

He seemed lost for words as he examined her, the silence stretching between them louder than Olivia expected. Perhaps it was because she could so easily read Lord Alexander’s expression today, unlike the other times she had met him. Though, she couldn’t decide what to make of his shock.

Finally, he cleared his throat and sank into a bow. “Forgive me,” he said, shaking his head as if to shake away his strange reaction to seeing her. “You caught me unawares, Miss Calloway, but it is a most pleasant surprise.”

His eyes locked onto something behind her, and Olivia glanced back just as Wilson entered the room and took up his post by the door. Lord Alexander relaxed; he must have been put off by being alone in the room with Olivia, if only for a moment.

“Please be seated, my lord,” Olivia said, gesturing to the nearest sofa.

He didn’t move. Did he not want to sit? But then his eyes dropped to the chair nearest where she stood, and she understood. Of course he was waiting for her to sit first!

Laughing, she settled herself in the chair and was pleased when he sank onto the sofa. “I believe it is your turn to forgive me, my lord. It seems being cooped up from all the rain has made me forget everything my governess taught me.”

He blessed her with that beautiful smile of his. “Should I be worried that the rest of London has been thus afflicted by the weather?” He seemed more relaxed than he had the other night at the Bates’s dinner party, and Olivia had to wonder if it was the duke who made all the difference. When Lord Alexander was on his own, he spoke more freely.

She would have to make the most of this rare moment of a lighter, freer Lord Alexander. “I would imagine I am the only person to suffer from this ailment,” she said with a grin. “I have never been one to remain indoors if I can help it.”

“That would explain your love of riding.”

He remembered! “Oh yes. During the summers, I practically live out of doors, as if I belong in the stables like Cordelia does.”

Lord Alexander sat forward, less stiff in his seat. “Cordelia? She is your mount?”

“She was born to be a racehorse.”

“Was she?”

“Not in truth. But I always imagined that was her true calling. She is my most prized possession, as much a friend as she is a mount. Do you like horses, my lord?”

He shook his head, leaving Olivia disappointed, but then he said, “That is, I do not know enough about horses to say whether I like them or not. I admit I was always somewhat afraid to ride as a boy, and my brothers teased me endlessly.”

“As did mine,” Olivia said. “Until I proved I was just as skilled a rider as they. Once I was old enough, of course.”

Lord Alexander glanced at the open door, then shifted to the other end of the sofa, closer to Olivia. “You are a good deal younger than your brothers, are you not?”

“William is seven years my senior, and Simon five years beyond that. My mother was especially glad when she was finally blessed with a daughter upon my arrival.”

On the subject of Mother, Olivia realized she was due to arrive any day now, and she perked up. Having Mother here, even with the rain, would surely make the Season much better. Mother had spent her life among Society and could navigate it all with grace and poise.

What would she think of Lord Alexander?

“My mother will be joining us here in London shortly,” Olivia said brightly. “Have you had the fortune of meeting her?”

“I have not, no. Before your father died, I did not...” He frowned. “We did not keep similar company, and I doubt he would have enjoyed speaking with a foolish young man such as myself.”

“You do not seem the foolish sort, my lord.”

He chuckled. “Clearly you do not know me well, Miss Calloway.”

“I would like to change that.” Oh goodness, it was quite a blessing that no one was here to hear her say such a bold thing. Cheeks heating, Olivia ducked her head so Lord Alexander would not see her grin. “Ah, perhaps you should not tell anyone I said such a shocking thing, but I meant it. I have a good feeling about you, Alexander Bailey, and I meant it when I said you have a good heart. That makes you worth knowing, and I like to think we could be friends.”

She waited a long few seconds before he replied.

“Friends,” he repeated.

She glanced up, surprised to see a smile playing on his lips. “Yes. Friends. Perhaps our friendship can give you reasons to spend more time away from your brother.”

His blue-gray eyes opened wide. “My brother?”

Olivia knew she was surely speaking where she should not, but who was there to stop her? Only Wilson, who likely had no idea what a lady should or should not say in polite company.

“Yes, my lord. I may not know His Grace, but I know how he treats you.”

“You do?” His voice had dropped so low, she almost couldn’t hear him.

“Maybe not the particulars, but I know you are not relaxed when you are with him. You have already smiled more today than you did the whole evening at the Bates’s.”

That brought the briefest of smiles out of him. “You are more observant than you led me to believe, Miss Calloway. It makes me wonder why you are so desperate for me to tell you about your suitors.”

Olivia scoffed. “Because I do not care to know my suitors, my lord. But I do care to know you.”

“I am not a suitor.” His voice carried an edge to it, as if he hoped to turn her away with those words.

Thankfully, Olivia had already guessed this. “That makes it all the easier to be your friend, my lord.”

“A friend would not be so formal around me, Miss Calloway.”

“Then, you must call me Olivia.”

He gritted his teeth, but his expression was playful. “I suppose I stepped into that one, but I do believe your brother would challenge me to a duel if he heard me call you by your Christian name. And Mr. Forester would gladly be his second.”

Olivia’s cheeks were beginning to hurt from smiling so much, and she shook her head. “Then, do your best to ensure he does not hear you.”

“And you would call me by my name?” he asked.

“I already do.”

“With a lord in front of it, yes.”

“So it will be an easy change. Assuming you allow it.”

“I have a feeling it is difficult to deny you anything, Miss Calloway.”

“Olivia.”

“Olivia.”

And, unless she imagined it, his face turned the slightest shade of pink as he spoke her name.

“So?” Olivia held out her hand, praying he would take it. “Are we friends now, Alexander?”

He hesitated for only a moment before slipping his hand into hers. His bare hand. Olivia felt the contact all the way to her toes. “Alex,” he said quietly. “And yes. We are friends. At least until your husband, whoever he may be, whisks you away from London.”

Olivia snorted a laugh and then covered her mouth. She should have been embarrassed by such an unladylike sound, but she could not stop smiling. Neither could Alex, it seemed. “Given what I have seen of the men in London, that will not be for a very long time,” she said, pulling her fingers free from his even though she did not especially want to. “Prepare yourself, Alex. You and I may very well be friends for the rest of our lives.”

“Lord Alexander, do forgive me for keeping you waiting.” Simon swept into the room with the air of someone mightily more important than he really was.

And, before Alex stood to greet her brother and follow him to Simon’s study, Olivia could have sworn she heard Alex mutter, “I hope you are right, Olivia.”