Page 18 of Never Doubt I Love (Calloway #3)

Of all the people to visit Olivia today, why did it have to be Mr. Harris? Calloway had left for Westminster, and after lunching with Olivia’s mother and sister-in-law, Alexander had hoped to follow through on that chess lesson Olivia had agreed to. But before he could approach her and suggest it, Harris had made his appearance.

Now Alexander sat on a sofa between Lady Calloway, who had asked him to call her Lucy to avoid confusion, and the Dowager Lady Calloway. He had a perfect view of Olivia as she laughed at something Harris said, and he was growing more tense with every passing minute.

“What do we know of this Mr. Harris?” Lady Calloway asked in an undertone.

“According to Nick, he is a good and kind man, though not especially wealthy,” Lucy replied. “From the little I have spoken to Mr. Harris, he seems of a good sort.”

“A bit bumbly,” Alexander grumbled.

Lucy snickered. “Bumbly?”

“He has a habit of tripping over his words.” Alexander could hardly imagine Harris keeping up with Olivia’s wit and cleverness, though he supposed that was not the only requirement for a man to be worthy of her interest. Still, she would be far happier with someone who could match her pace in conversation.

“Simon was that way when we first met,” Lucy said. A sort of wistful fondness entered her expression as she watched Olivia and Harris converse. “I found it rather adorable. Olivia certainly seems not to mind.”

On cue, Olivia snorted a laugh before pressing her fingers to her mouth.

Alexander forced himself to silently repeat everything he had learned from Calloway this morning. Unfortunately for him, he had been rather distracted and had hardly taken in anything at all. Calloway would likely think him unintelligent and unteachable if he didn’t learn to keep his focus rather than daydream about holding Olivia in his arms.

Whatever part of him that had determined not to fall in love with Olivia Calloway had apparently died the moment he’d seen her with Hugh. Alexander’s protectiveness had nearly blinded him, and that feeling of wanting to stay close to her had not faded all day.

“Are you feeling better, Lord Alexander?” Lady Calloway asked gently.

“Were you unwell?” Lucy asked.

He sighed, his eyes still fixed on Olivia. He couldn’t find the willpower to look away, though he knew the ladies would pick up on his focus if they had not already. “Much better, my lady,” he said, forcing a smile. “I cannot thank you enough for your understanding and assistance.”

Lady Calloway patted his arm in a way that reminded him so much of his mother that he felt a pang of longing. He hadn’t seen her in more than six months, and her last letter had come more than two months ago. She had only been affectionate whenever his father was away from the house, but she had always found ways to assure Alexander that he was loved, if only by her. He could use her comfort now.

“You know,” Lady Calloway said, “you should never be afraid to show someone you are struggling, Alexander. My husband, rest his soul, was often overwhelmed, just as you were. It took him a good while before he let me see that vulnerability, and only when he did could I help him through it.”

Alexander dragged his eyes from Olivia to stare at Lady Calloway. “The last Lord Calloway was like me?”

She smiled warmly. “Often. Particularly when he first became baron, after his father died. We found it would pass more quickly when I sat with him. I think he simply needed to know he was not alone.”

“Simon is rarely overwhelmed when I join him in his study,” Lucy said, pulling Alexander’s attention over to her. “I hardly know what his work entails most of the time, but he carries far less stress when I am with him. I did not realize he inherited that worry from his father.”

“Oh, Simon manages it far better than Peter ever did, but they have always been so similar,” Lady Calloway said, tucking her arm through Alexander’s as if she knew how difficult it was for him to comprehend this information. Other people became overwhelmed with nerves? Forester had seemed to understand what Alexander was experiencing yesterday, but surely a baron with as much wealth and amiability as Simon Calloway would not worry as much as Alexander did.

Was that all he needed to find some peace in his life? Someone to sit beside him and help him know he wasn’t alone in the world?

His eyes strayed to Olivia again, and even though she was still deep in conversation with Harris, he found himself relaxing. She had been calming from the beginning, while at the same time sparking a fire in his life and waking him from the darkness that had settled around him since Juliet’s death. With Hugh acting strangely and Charles feeling more dangerous than ever, Alexander knew it was unwise to think he and Olivia could be a good match.

But when had the heart ever been wise?

“Thank goodness Olivia has always been confident,” Lady Calloway said with a contented sigh.

Lucy laughed. “Perhaps too confident. Our Liv fears nothing.”

“I have noticed,” Alexander said, hoping he could avoid his thoughts straying where they shouldn’t if he kept himself in the conversation. “Lord Calloway does not seem especially fond of that trait.”

Both women chuckled. “Simon adores Olivia,” Lucy said. “But he is not ready for her to grow up.”

“He lost the battle to keep her young when she finally beat him in a horse race,” Lady Calloway added. She squeezed Alexander’s arm as she leaned closer. “Olivia has been challenging Simon for years, ever since we lost their father, and up until this last summer she could not beat him. But our Livvy has grown into quite the impressive young woman.”

“She has.” Alexander spoke the words before he could remember that he should not. He coughed, hoping his face did not turn red. He hadn’t been able to school his expressions quite as well as he used to before meeting Olivia, and that frightened him. “That is, she seems to have made a splash since her come-out, from what I have seen.”

Lucy and her mother-in-law shared a look that Alexander could not quite read.

He fought to find a new topic of conversation. “What of your other son?” he asked Lady Calloway. “How does he compare to his siblings, when they are so different?”

Lucy laughed. “William is his own type of person.”

“That boy leaps before he looks,” Lady Calloway agreed with another sigh.

They spent the next hour listening to Lady Calloway tell stories of the Calloway children when they were younger, though Alexander was admittedly distracted. Olivia seemed to grow more and more comfortable with Mr. Harris, who smiled as if he could think of no place he would rather be than sitting beside Olivia and listening to her talk.

Alexander desperately wanted to be in Harris’s place.

Perhaps Olivia would not accept Hugh’s attentions, but she had said nothing about denying anyone else. If that wasn’t reason for Alexander to panic, he didn’t know what was.

* * *

After Harris left—finally—Olivia received a visit from one of her many friends, and Alexander excused himself. He needed to get some air and remind himself that a future with Olivia was impossible. Even if, by some miracle, she returned a fraction of his growing affection, her brother would never allow the match.

As Alexander stepped onto the sidewalk outside the Calloway home, he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, soaking in the warmth of the sun. The sunny skies promised spring would come soon, and Alexander smiled at the idea of the world waking up right along with him.

“What has you so smug?”

Alexander cursed under his breath and turned to find Charles leaning against the front of the house, his legs crossed and his walking stick hovering over a patch of mangled tulips. They looked as if they had been struck rather violently, the petals sitting in the dirt below bent and broken stems.

Alexander’s hands curled into fists, though he hid them behind his back. So much for peace and hopefulness. “Why are you here?”

Charles smirked. “To give you a message.”

Glancing at the flowers, Alexander wondered if they were part of the message or simply a casualty of Charles’s boredom. “What message? I have already seen Hugh today.”

“His Grace would like you to stay out of his way,” Charles said with a shrug. “He did not appreciate your interference this morning.”

“I did nothing.”

“Precisely.” Charles pointed his walking stick at Alexander, his jaw tight. “His Grace was unceremoniously thrown from the house, and you did nothing to stop Calloway and his friend from insulting our brother in the most outrageous manner.”

As the sun slid behind a cloud, Alexander nearly laughed at himself for believing Hugh would actually change. Whatever good Olivia had thought she’d seen in him, it had clearly been a ruse. Alexander would have to keep Olivia as far from the duke as he could.

But he couldn’t do that. He had told her that he trusted her, and if he wanted to be trusted in return, he could not go against his word.

“Did Hugh send you?” Alexander asked, proud of himself for keeping his voice calm and untouched by his growing nerves.

Charles scoffed. “Why else would I be here?”

That wasn’t a confirmation. Alexander had spent enough time with his younger brother to recognize when he was deflecting. “He doesn’t know you are here,” he guessed. “Because Hugh went straight to Westminster so he wouldn’t look unpatriotic next to Lord Harstone, and you got your information from the footman he sent home.”

Sure enough, Charles paled, though he laughed to try to cover his bluff. For a man who so enjoyed gambling, he was not an especially good liar. “Of course Hugh sent me.”

Alexander took a step toward Charles, pleased to see his brother flinch. “You never call him Hugh. What is your goal in coming here, Charles?”

“I told you. To deliver a—”

“Are you spying on me? Hoping to find a weakness to exploit because you have lost your usefulness to Hugh?”

Charles narrowed his eyes; Alexander had poked a sore spot. “I have always been far more useful to His Grace than you have, Alexander. Particularly since that merchant’s daughter turned you soft. You were better off without her, and Calloway’s silly sister is better off without y—”

Alexander grabbed the walking stick out of Charles’s hand and held it against his neck. It didn’t have the same danger as a fencing foil, but it seemed to do the trick and shut him up. “I have no desire to fight you,” he said with force, “but I will if you keep talking of things you should not.”

Charles swallowed thickly, his eyes darting over Alexander’s shoulder. Alexander had likely caught the attention of some passersby, but he hardly cared. “His Grace will not be pleased,” Charles said.

Alexander huffed a humorous laugh. “His Grace no longer wishes to live a life of degradation, but you are too busy worshipping him to notice.” Though, Alexander still could not be certain that was true. He wanted to believe Hugh could change, but a lifetime of poor choices would not be easy to leave behind. Alexander knew that well.

Sighing, he took a step back and tossed the walking stick into the dirt. “Charles, have you never wanted to live your own life? Not be subject to Hugh’s whims but your own desires?”

Though he relaxed now that Alexander was no longer in control, Charles scoffed. “My own desires? What do you think I have been doing? I want to be a duke.”

It was the first time Charles had ever admitted as much out loud, and Alexander winced. “You want your brothers dead?”

Charles tugged his jacket straight. “If that is God’s design.”

“What if it is your design?”

Charles did not respond, which was answer enough. Alexander could threaten him. Warn him that anything he tried would only lead to him being imprisoned or worse. But he knew too well that Charles would never listen.

It would be better for Alexander to keep his distance. “Charles, for once in your life, take my advice. Do not fall into Hugh’s traps. Find your own way in this world. Choose a woman who makes you want to be a better man and devote your life to her.” He waited to see if Charles would respond, and when his brother remained silent, Alexander moved to return to the house and hoped Charles had listened to him.

But Charles spoke before Alexander could even take a step. “Whether His Grace sent me here or not, you can be certain his deadline still stands. He will have Miss Calloway. You only have two weeks to do this your way, or someone will intervene.”

Alexander tensed as memories of Juliet’s broken body flashed through his mind. What if the same thing happened to Olivia? “Someone?” he asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could. He could not risk Charles knowing he was afraid. “Do you mean you ?”

Charles shrugged. “Perhaps.”

“What do you gain from Hugh marrying someone like Miss Calloway? I would think you would rather prevent him from marrying at all. As soon as he produces an heir, your chances of becoming Tipton are even less than they are now.”

Charles’s careful nonchalance slipped, revealing fear. “I have my reasons,” he all but mumbled before reaching down and picking up his walking stick. “I needn’t explain anything to you. You have enough to worry about as it is. I do not advise leaving that pretty Miss Calloway on her own. You never know what may happen.”

Alexander’s chest tightened, catching his breath in his lungs. “If you lay a finger on Miss Calloway—”

“What, have you come to care for the chit? Or is it her fortune that has you so entranced?” Charles narrowed his eyes. “You do care for her! Are you truly stupid enough to steal something His Grace has set his eyes upon?”

As Alexander fought to keep his emotions out of his expression, he almost wished he had Calloway or one of his friends with him. Someone who might actually frighten Charles into keeping his distance. If nothing else, he had to inform Calloway of Charles’s threat to ensure Olivia always had someone keeping an eye on her.

She would despise that, but there was no telling what Charles might try if given an opportunity.

“I should return to the Calloways,” Alexander said. This time he started walking before Charles could say anything to keep him there.

That did not stop Charles from trying. “Remember, you have only until Lady Lockhart’s ball to persuade Calloway to give his sister to the duke.”

Alexander kept moving, refusing to react until he was safely inside Calloway’s house. He exhaled, his tense body relaxing, and sank against the wall as his strength left him. Though the butler gave him a searching look, Alexander simply closed his eyes and breathed. Breathed until he was calm again.

It took far longer than he would like.

“Hastings?” he said, opening his eyes.

The butler seemed to hesitate, as if trying to decide how much he wanted to listen to Alexander. But then he stood straighter and cleared his throat. “Yes, my lord?”

“Did you see the man I was speaking to outside?”

“I did, my lord.”

“I cannot give you orders, but could I make a request?”

“Always, my lord. Whether I choose to comply will depend upon Lord and Lady Calloway.”

Alexander smiled, sensing a bit of impertinence in the butler. The Tipton butler was a man of few words, always eager to accommodate every order unless it went directly against one of Hugh’s. Alexander liked that Hastings was intelligent enough to consider his actions carefully.

“If Lord Charles, the man out there, ever comes around the house, could you send someone to chase him off? He can bring no benefit to the Calloways.”

Was that a smile playing on the butler’s lips? Hastings glanced at the door and nodded. “I will see what I can do. Does he require chasing this afternoon, my lord?”

Alexander chuckled. “If he is still out there within the next five minutes, perhaps you should frighten him away. It would not take much.”

“Very well, my lord. Do you require anything else this afternoon?”

“No. Thank you.”

Though one of his eyebrows lifted ever so slightly, as if he hadn’t expected gratitude, Hastings bowed his head and left Alexander alone in the entryway.

Alexander considered returning to the sitting room to rejoin the ladies, but the reminder of watching Olivia laugh with Mr. Harris made his stomach churn. One day, likely soon, he would have to accept that someone would earn her affection, but knowing as much did not make the prospect any easier to bear.