Page 29 of Never Doubt I Love (Calloway #3)

Alexander had felt exhaustion before, but nothing so overwhelming as this. It was barely two o’clock in the afternoon, and yet he was tempted to sleep for two days straight. He could not do that, however. Hugh was dead, Charles was practically mad with misery, and Alexander had a household full of staff who kept telling him they did not need to be paid but looked terrified they would lose their positions. And those were only the immediate problems. It said nothing of his sudden title and all it meant for his future life.

He swallowed a mouthful of brandy, hating the taste of it but hoping it would help keep him from getting lost in his thoughts for too long. That would not be easily done. The constable had just left after informing him that Hugh’s killer, Lieutenant Jacob Stubbs, had succumbed to his injuries and perished, leaving the matter of the illegal duel resolved.

Stubbs had a widow. A woman who was carrying Hugh’s child and was now husbandless because of Hugh. Nothing about Alexander’s circumstances was resolved, and he would need to find a way to support Mrs. Stubbs, along with anyone else who had been affected by Hugh’s immorality. He feared there were many, but he would never know who they were without Charles’s help.

Sighing, Alexander rose to his feet and left the study, which had been his place of refuge as he’d tried to find the best course of action going forward. After seeing the state of Hugh’s finances—and understanding it all, thanks to Calloway’s and Harstone’s tutelage—he knew he could not delay trying to correct everything. Creditors would come calling before long, and Alexander needed a plan. But first, he needed to know details.

He found Charles exactly where he’d left him hours ago, slumped in a chair in front of a dying fire because no one had come around to the sitting room to tend to the flames. An untouched plate of food sat beside him; Alexander had asked someone to fetch it from the kitchen earlier that morning, but apparently that had been in vain. “Charles, you need to eat something.”

Charles glanced at the plate, the only sign that he was alert. Beyond that, he did not move. He barely breathed as he rested his chin in his hand.

Sighing, Alexander took up his own seat beside him and gazed into the glowing embers. “Stubbs is dead.”

Charles grunted.

“According to the law, the matter has been put to rest.” Alexander waited, wondering if Charles would respond at all or if this was going to be their new relationship. He hoped not. While he and Charles had never been close, Charles was the only family he had left outside of Mother, who was better off where she was, in her peaceful little life with Mary. Without Charles, Alexander would be utterly alone, and he could not bear the thought. “I will be unable to give you any income for a while,” he continued. “Maybe I never will. If I cannot figure out how to save the estate, then—”

“You never wanted to be duke.” Charles’s voice was rough, scratching out of his throat.

Alexander tensed. He prayed his brother would not try anything foolish. “No,” he agreed. “But I will do my best with what I have.”

Blinking slowly, Charles took a long breath. “You will be better than I could be. I never wanted...” His voice broke as tears filled his eyes. “I never wanted Hugh to die. No matter what I said. I only wanted my life to mean something, and without Hugh, I don’t...” He swallowed thickly, shaking his head as he continued to stare into the fireplace. “You do not need me, Alexander. You never have. What am I supposed to do now?”

Hesitating, Alexander reached out and grasped Charles’s hand. “I do not know. But I will do everything I can to help you find your place in this world. If you promise to be better.”

Charles scoffed. “What, like you? Willing to submit to men beneath me for a chance at their scraps?”

Alexander couldn’t help but smile, though this was hardly a time for amusement. Hugh had not been dead twelve hours yet, and the burden on Alexander’s shoulders would likely be more than he could bear. But still he smiled, wishing Charles could feel what he did when he thought about those men who had offered him far more than scraps. When he thought about the woman who had refused to let him hide in the shadows and fade away to nothing.

“Charles, have you ever loved a woman?”

Eyebrows pulling low, Charles stared at him. “You cannot seriously be asking me if I’ve—”

“I am asking if you have loved a woman, Charles. If you have ever met someone who made you believe you could be more than what you were born to.”

As his expression softened, Charles seemed to consider that. “Love was never meant for men like us,” he said eventually. “Our lives have never been our own.”

“What if they could be?”

Charles sat up, lifting his head and moving for the first time in hours.

Alexander nodded. “You and I, we are the same. Spares to a title we know nothing about and driven to act according to someone else’s desires. Even when I thought I could have my own life, Hugh prevented me from marrying the woman I loved, and she lost her life because of it. First Father, and then Hugh—they have always told us who we could be. And now...” He shrugged. “Now we have to make our own choices. No one is telling us what to do. Charles, you can be anything. You can fall in love with a good woman and live an honest life and leave all this madness behind.”

Ever so slowly, Charles looked around the mostly bare room. The chairs were the only items left, something he seemed to realize for the first time as his eyebrows rose high. “You are selling everything?”

“This is the only house that has remained untouched by Hugh’s debts. Or it was, until this morning.”

“He is . . . was . . . not entirely broke.”

Hopefully Charles was considering Alexander’s speech and trying to see another way to live.

“I am aware of that,” Alexander said with a nod. Hugh had been intelligent enough to rent out the empty properties that the law forbade him from selling. “But I hope to spare the staff if at all possible. I would rather sleep on the floor than have to relieve any of them of their duties.”

Charles looked as if he had just smelled something nasty. “What are the maids supposed to do all day if there is nothing left to dust?”

Alexander laughed. The sound surprised him as much as it did Charles. “I am sure I can think of something. And, hopefully, I will find a way to make the estate profitable again.”

“How?”

“I am not certain yet, but I have been learning business from Calloway.”

“Truly?”

“Yes. I have learned a great deal, in fact.”

“Could...” Charles hunched up in his chair, turning red as he fixed his eyes on the floor.

Alexander grinned. “Yes?”

“Do you think you could teach me?” The words were a mere mumble.

“You want to learn business?”

Charles mumbled something unintelligible, but a tiny nod of his head was enough to tell Alexander that he and his brother were likely more similar than he had thought. Before he could say as much, a familiar shout echoed through the house and stole his breath.

“Alexander Bailey, you will come downstairs this moment!”

Charles’s eyes went wide. “What in the blazes was that?”

Alexander fought his growing grin, knowing he was about to have another argument. One he was likely to lose. “That was Olivia Calloway.” Though he had hoped she would stay away, deep down he had known that she’d left far too easily this morning. And as firmly as he believed she was better off without him, warmth spread into his chest at learning she had not given up on him yet. “Eat,” he told Charles, pointing to the plate, and then he headed out into the corridor.

He found Olivia gazing up the stairs with a fire in her eyes and a scandalized servant behind her. Alexander was glad to see she had not roped Wilson into coming with her on his well-earned day off. Lud, but she was the most beautiful woman Alexander had ever seen, particularly when riled up like this. He could stare at her all day, but he figured it would be best to jump right into things.

“I am afraid I cannot comply with your request,” he said, startling her, “as I am not upstairs.”

She recovered quickly, turning to him and pointing at his nose. “Alex, I have given you time to adjust to your new circumstances, and I apologize for not doing that earlier.”

He lifted one eyebrow, careful to keep the rest of his expression empty. He was too curious not to hear her out. “I hardly think a few hours counts as enough time to adjust to my brother’s death, Miss Calloway.”

She pinked but carried onward. “While I am well aware that you are mourning your brother, though heaven knows why when the man tried to kill you not two days ago, I am also aware that you are nearly as stubborn as I am and need something stronger to persuade you. Therefore, I present you with this.”

Alexander took the note she handed him, frowning at it before looking up at her. Though he was too tired to understand most of what it said, he could see the small sum scrawled upon it. “Olivia, I have told you that I do not want your—”

“I sold Cordelia.”

“What?” He choked, looking back at the note again as if he might find an explanation there. “Why?”

“Because you need money, Alexander, and as you have refused my dowry, I found an alternative. A thousand pounds is paltry compared to thirty thousand, but I confess I have never been skilled at saving my pin money, so the price I got for my horse is the only money I have.”

Oh, the foolish woman. Even if he took her money and tried to purchase Cordelia back for her, the beast was too fine for him to afford. She was worth far more than a thousand pounds; Olivia had been swindled. “Olivia,” he moaned. “Have you lost your mind?”

“No. Only my heart. Fool that you are, you seem to have forgotten that I told you I love you, Alex Bailey.”

He ran a hand through his hair. Seeing the fire blazing in her eyes was scrambling his thoughts and leaving him feeling witless. And it was far too dangerous to go up against Olivia Calloway without one’s full mental capacity. “You do not want to be a duchess,” he argued lamely. “You have told me so more than once.”

She scoffed. “Yes, but I have also told you that I wish to be your wife, and I am prepared to compromise. Just this once, mind you.”

A smile cracked through his mask, and Alexander treasured the triumph that brightened Olivia’s expression when she saw it. She thought she had already won? Well, she had, and Alexander feared what that meant. “Olivia,” he said, shaking his head. “I want nothing more than to be your husband, but—”

“It is settled, then.” And she stepped forward and pulled him into a kiss that he could not find the will to fight.

He loved this woman. Desperately. As he cradled her head and kissed her with what little restraint he had, he pictured their lives together. Playing chess by the fire, visiting tenants together, chasing their children around the grounds of the country estate once he no longer needed the rent from its current tenants. He imagined Olivia telling him off for giving the children sweets before bed and then getting caught herself purchasing a pony before the children were even old enough to ride. He imagined arguments and laughter and rainy nights in each other’s arms because no matter what they went through, they were together. He pictured how beautiful Olivia would be when she was old and gray and how deeply he would love her still, even after a lifetime of trying to keep up with her and always being a step behind.

What a wonderful and perfect life that would be.

“Ahem.”

Olivia and Alexander jumped apart to find Calloway, Harstone, and Forester all standing in the doorway, watching them. Harstone and Forester looked thrilled; Calloway looked rather green.

“Well,” Forester said, laughter in his voice. “That answers my question of whether Alexander had given up on his stubbornness yet.”

Alexander scowled. Mostly because that incredible kiss had been interrupted. “And you are in my house because... ?”

“Because my sister has once again ignored the advice of her betters and done something foolish,” Calloway said gruffly. “Your Grace, if you could kindly acknowledge propriety for a moment.”

Clearing his throat, Alexander took half a step away from Olivia but grabbed hold of her hand so she could not go far. “My intentions have not changed, my lord.” He did his best to sound authoritative when he spoke, but his voice cracked, so he wasn’t sure he managed it.

Calloway coughed, poorly hiding a laugh. “Nor have my requirements of courtship, Your Grace.”

That title was going to take some getting used to. Alexander nodded to acknowledge the agreement he had made with Calloway last night. “I will endeavor to provide your sister with a proper courtship before we announce our engagement.” Perhaps, over the course of his mourning period, he would have repaired his estate enough to feel as if he were not pulling Olivia into utter poverty.

“This is a good house,” Forester said, looking around the grand entryway with pursed lips. Then he took a few steps forward to peer into the parlor, which at the moment was full of furniture and paintings ready to be sold. “Odd way to decorate, however.”

Alexander winced. “I am doing my best to restore the estate,” he explained, feeling foolish as soon as he said it.

Harstone hummed thoughtfully, joining Forester in gazing into the mess of the room. “I cannot say I know the exact state of your finances, Your Grace,” he said, the words gentle, “but I would imagine a few pieces of furniture are not going to gain you much in the way of money.”

“No,” Alexander agreed. “But it will be enough for me to pay the wages of my staff.”

“Ah.”

Sighing, Alexander glanced at Olivia, who gave him a supportive smile that buoyed him more than it should, and then turned his focus to Calloway. “Forgive me, my lord. I promised you I would assist in your business endeavors, but my circumstances have changed.”

Calloway folded his arms. “I am aware, which brings me back to my reason for coming here this afternoon. My foolish sister.”

Alexander instinctively moved close to her again when she gasped at the insult. “Take care how you speak of her, Calloway,” he warned.

But Calloway’s exasperated expression did not change. “Yes, well, she went and sold her beloved horse for half of what she is worth, so I am now two thousand pounds poorer than I was this morning.”

Olivia squeaked. “You bought Cordelia back?”

“For more than I paid for her in the first place, yes.”

“But I sold her to help Alexander rebuild his estate.”

Calloway sighed, looking about as weary as Alexander felt as he approached the two of them. “You love that horse, Olivia.”

“I love Alexander more.”

“And if you had simply been patient, you would have realized that we”—he nodded toward his two friends—“have been coming up with a plan to help him.”

Alexander’s heart skipped a beat. “You have?”

Calloway nodded. “I know how it feels to inherit a title before you are ready, Alexander. And while your brother may not have been a good man, he was still your family, and that will not be an easy loss to bear. That being said, I either need a partner or I need to sell some of my assets, as I am already overwhelmed even without a child on top of it all. I leave it to you to decide which would suit you better: partner or owner.”

Alexander spluttered as a thousand ideas flooded his brain. Ways that he could improve some of the ventures Calloway was a part of. “I could not possibly afford—”

“Partner it is, then.” Calloway reached forward and grasped Alexander’s free hand, forcing a handshake. “And once you are more financially secure, you can buy me out. Simple.”

There was nothing simple about it. Grateful as he was, Alexander knew taking on Calloway’s businesses as a duke would not be easy. “But it is not socially acceptable for nobility to—”

“Alexander Bailey, you are a duke . If anyone can do what he would like, it is you. Besides, I have more businesses than I can remember, and Society still likes me far more than I wish they would.”

“Forgive me, Calloway, but I am not you. I do not have the same respect that you have earned. Society is more likely to fear me than accept me.”

“Then, let them fear you.” Calloway smirked. “Besides, you are soon to have a duchess by your side whom all of England will adore with their whole hearts.”

Alexander turned to Olivia, who was beaming so brightly she seemed to be glowing as she glanced between the two of them, as if she could not imagine anything better than her brother and her betrothed working together. “You are certain you want to be a duchess?” he asked, hating every word. But he wanted to be sure she knew exactly what she was getting into.

Olivia leaned up on her toes to press a soft kiss to his cheek. “I want to be by your side, no matter what comes with it. I can handle it.”

“Yes, you can.”

“Have you gotten all that settled, then?” Harstone asked, coming over to join them. Forester had disappeared, which worried Alexander. Who knew what sort of trouble that man might be getting himself into? Harstone bowed his head, unconcerned with his missing friend. “Your Grace.”

Alexander groaned. “I would rather you lot did not call me that.”

“I have a proposition for you, Your Grace,” Harstone replied with a smile.

Too curious not to ask, Alexander lifted an eyebrow. “What sort of proposition?”

“If I teach you how to successfully run a profitable estate, I ask that you will be available to chase away unsuitable suitors for me in some years, as you did for Miss Calloway. When my eldest daughter comes of age, I fear I will be useless.”

Alexander’s jaw nearly dropped. “Why do you think I could chase anyone away?”

Harstone and Calloway both laughed. “Do you really think it was Olivia who frightened them all off?” Calloway asked, raising an eyebrow. “As if an irritating voice would be enough to make a man give up the prospect of thirty thousand pounds.”

“You mean it was Alexander who scared them all away?” Olivia asked with a pout. “Well, not all of them, of course. Oh.” She blushed a deep shade of red and turned to Alexander, biting her lip. “I just remembered. I still have not spoken to Mr. Harris since he... you know, since he proposed.”

Calloway choked. “He did what? When? But I never heard...” He looked at Alexander, grimacing. “I suppose now is as good a time as any to put your frightening skills to the test, Alexander. With the way Harris has fallen for Olivia, he will need more than her refusal to convince him that he should give up. Particularly if he proposed without speaking to me first.”

Alexander supposed inheriting the dukedom and all its authority was going to come with its advantages. Namely, keeping other men at bay. As long as Olivia was still unmarried, they would undoubtedly keep trying to win her hand. “I cannot believe I am about to say this,” he said, cringing, “but I think you should not be angry with Harris. I am guessing he thought it best to know Olivia’s mind on the matter, as she is the one who will ultimately decide.”

“Unfortunately for him,” Olivia said, looking at Alexander, “I believe I was already in love with you before Mr. Harris ever had a chance. Still, I think it would be easier to refuse him if you were there with me, Alex. You make me feel brave.”

“You are brave,” he argued. “And you make me feel safe. And steady. And hopeful.” When she grinned up at him, her eyes ablaze once more, he bit his lip to keep from kissing her. Now that he knew he had a way to make an income and hopefully save the Tipton estate, resisting Olivia’s charms was not going to be easy.

Calloway cleared his throat. “How long do you intend to be in mourning?”

If Hugh had not turned on him the way he had, Alexander might have considered a longer period, but with all that had happened, he was eager to start a new life with Olivia at his side. “Three months,” he decided. It would be enough to satisfy Society but hopefully not so long that Olivia set her sights elsewhere. “Assuming I have the strength,” he added when she smiled up at him.

“Attending Parliament will keep you distracted,” Harstone said with a wink.

“As will this delightful brother of yours!” Forester appeared with a squirming Charles under his arm. “Someone will have to keep him out of trouble now that he is no longer on a leash. I found him eavesdropping down the corridor.”

Charles snarled, but he couldn’t seem to get out from under Forester’s arm. “Unhand me, you silly, lying fop. I am the son of a duke!”

“And I am the son of a mere mister, and yet the new Duke of Tipton likes me better than he likes you.”

Charles met Alexander’s gaze with a question in his eyes, as if he wondered whether that were true.

Alexander chuckled. “Forester, let him go. Charles will be better behaved from here on out.” He narrowed his eyes on that last part to make sure his brother understood that it was as much an order as it was a statement of faith.

Charles grumbled, but he seemed to have realized how much power was standing in the room with him. While no one but Alexander outranked him, they were all influential in their own ways. Even Olivia. He nodded before dropping his gaze to the floor. “I am sorry for any distress I caused,” he said without looking up. “My bad intentions were misguided, but they were my own. And...” He shot a quick glance at Alexander. “I hope to be more like Alexander in the future. The choices he has made seem to have served him well, and I want more of what he has.”

“A bit on the selfish side,” Forester remarked, “but you have the right idea.” He finally released Charles and let him scurry back down the corridor. His grin was a bit too amused, given the way the morning had started. “Alexander, while I have nothing to give you in a monetary sense, as I am nowhere near as wealthy as these lords, I can offer you my support as you step into this new life of yours.” He sobered. “You have managed to hide, for the most part, but that will no longer be an option. Especially not with Livvy beside you.”

Everyone chuckled, Olivia included.

“That said,” Forester continued, “I hope you will consider me a friend and a confidant. I have experienced the gamut of Society’s offerings and would be most willing to help you navigate whatever the ton decides to throw your way.”

Though at a glance Forester’s offering could not compare to that of Calloway or Harstone, Alexander treasured such a humbly offered gift. “Thank you,” he said, choking over the emotion that rose in his throat. “To all of you. I do not deserve your kindness, but I am most grateful for it.”

Harstone put his hand on Alexander’s shoulder. “Every man needs kindness and friendship in his life, Alexander. I was blessed to find it in these men when I most needed it.”

“And I will forever be grateful to Calloway and Harstone for saving me from myself when I had nothing,” Forester said.

Calloway smiled. “I would be lost without my friends. I am happy to share them with you.”

Alexander thought perhaps he would fall apart as he stood there. The only thing keeping him in one piece was Olivia, who practically hugged his arm as she tearfully smiled up at him. How could he have ever thought he could get through life without her by his side?

“Now,” Calloway said, “I would like to assure my wife and mother that Olivia’s husband-to-be is well taken care of, and I am not about to leave Olivia here, where I cannot personally keep an eye on her. Olivia, I will give you two minutes alone before I come drag you from the house.” He narrowed his eyes at her before gesturing for his friends to follow him outside.

Olivia’s responding laughter told Alexander that Calloway would most assuredly be following through with that threat, as Olivia would not be leaving of her own volition.

He decided he should use what little time he could get. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pulled her close and pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes. “How did I get so lucky?” he whispered.

“Luck had nothing to do with it,” Olivia argued. “You and I both made decisions that brought us here, and I would not change that for the world. Even if it does mean I have to be a duchess. I suppose it will only assist in my matchmaking endeavors, though I feel rather silly for thinking I was the one turning men’s heads away from me.”

Alexander laughed as he pulled back to look at her. “You were.”

“You heard my brother. I thought I was being undesirable, but it turns out you were simply lurking about and frightening them off.”

“But you were pointing them in other directions,” Alexander argued. “All the while giving me more and more reasons to fall in love with you.”

Olivia bit her lip, her eyes dancing between his. “Loving me is the best decision you have made so far,” she said, though she seemed to be on the verge of laughter.

Alexander would indulge her jest, even if she was completely right. “And here I was thinking that falling in love with you would be unwise.”

Olivia snickered, rising up onto her toes and grabbing hold of his lapels. Her lips were a mere breath from his, teasing him. “Oh, Alexander, when has love ever been wise?”

He caught her lips with his own, knowing the next three months were going to be the longest of his life. But then? Then he would have the rest of forever to be foolishly in love with the woman who had saved his heart and brought him back to life.