Page 39 of Necessary Time

“You know what I mean.”

“Honestly, I don’t know whatthisis. I don’t know what you are.Whoyou are to me.”

Colin moved onto his back, tucking one arm behind his head. I shifted onto my side, propping my head in my hand, elbow digging into the sheets.

“Who do you want me to be?”

“My first man.”

He opened his mouth and quickly closed it. “Don’t get ahead of yourself, Wesley.”

“I’m not,” I assured him. “What do you wantmeto be?”

“Yourself.”

“Come on,” I grumbled, poking his ribs. He winced, closing one eye and giving me a warning look.

“I just want to see what happens,” Colin admitted. “There’s a lot working against us. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Do you want to see what happens with other people too?”

He shook his head. “Do you?”

“No,” I whispered, biting my lips between my teeth to stop from saying the rest out loud.

I’m scared you might be it for me.

“Alright.” Colin squinted and looked from me to the ceiling. “We can go slow, right?”

“I mean…” I bit back a laugh, climbing on top of him. My cock pressed insistently at the fly of my jeans, and his just as eager near the split of my ass. “Not like snails.”

“No sex tonight.”

I paused, sitting upright so I could look down at him. Colin was soft, but not in a bad way. His skin was pliable beneath my hands, and I drew swirls across his stomach.

“I don’t want to sound my age, but what does that mean?”

“No sex?” Colin’s brows flew toward his hairline.

“Are you talking like…” I raised my fingers and rudely shoved my pointer finger through the loop of my other hand.

“Penetrative,” he said, with a slow nod. “That’s sex.”

“Do you not think blow jobs are sex?” I let my hands fall, dusting them once again across his skin. His nipples were hard, and I wanted to feel them against my fingertips, but we had to lay some ground rules first.

“They’re foreplay.”

“It feels more intimate to me.” I chewed the inside of my cheek. “Like, to put your cock in my mouth. I kiss you with that mouth. It’s not like it’s my…you know.”

“I want to kiss you there too,” he said, voice low and rough. “Eventually.”

I swallowed.

“But if you want to save that, we can.”

“What about hand jobs?” I asked.

“I think I’m okay to follow your lead here, Wesley.” Colin pulled his hand out from behind his head and curled his fingers around my waist. He lifted off the bed, just slightly, then settled back down. “If there’s something that’s a problem for me, I’ll tell you.”