Page 23 of Necessary Time

“And you didn’t?”

“He kissed me, and it was so different.”

“Did it feel wrong?” Colin asked, taking his hand away.

In the absence of his touch, my leg was cold, and I rubbed my own sweaty palm over the place he’d been holding me. The question was one I’d been thinking about for weeks, and even though the answer had been right on the tip of my tongue, it was something I’d been scared to admit. Recognizing the answer felt like it was going to change everything.

“It felt wrong because it was him, not because he was a man,” I finally admitted.

“You can be attracted to men without being attracted to all men,” he said. “Like you weren’t attracted to every woman you met, were you?”

I laughed, giving him an awkward half-shrug. “Most of them, to be honest.”

He rolled his eyes, fingers still curled tight around the steering wheel. “That’s fair for a guy your age. Have you talked to him since?”

“Not really.”

“You just packed up and moved here?”

“Pretty much,” I said.

Colin’s jaw flexed, but he didn’t say anything more. I let the silence settle because I didn’t know what else to say. I didn’t even know the point of telling him the story about David. It didn’t mean anything. It didn’t matter.

“Does Hendrix know that’s why you moved?” Colin finally asked.

“No,” I whispered.

“Does anyone?”

“Just you.”

He let out a long breath and nodded. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

“It wasn’t like…it’s just whatever. Henny doesn’t know because he’s so dramatic about everything, and I haven’t told Grayson because I think he’ll tell Miles and Miles will tell Henny.”

“And you don’t want your brother to know?”

“I don’t care that he’s gay,” I said quickly, tangling my fingers in my lap. “There’s nothing wrong with it. Hendrix is just always big on advice. I don’t want advice.”

“That’s fair.” Colin loosened his grip on the steering wheel. “Sometimes it’s nice to just be heard.”

“Right? Thank you. Like, not everything needs to be solved. Not everything needs an answer. Some things are justthings. They just need time.”

I thumped my head against the seat rest and closed my eyes.

“I talked to Miles,” I admitted. “Asked if he could help draw Hendrix in a bit. I don’t like keeping secrets from him.”

“What did Miles say?”

“He’d talk to my brother.”

“Has he?” Colin changed lanes, the tick-tick of the turn signal indicator the first thing louder than the strumming of my pulse in my ears.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I’d have to ask him or Grayson about it.”

“So, is this you coming out?”

“Uhm.” I swallowed. “Kind of, I guess.”