Page 59

I don’t have much to say in response to all the romantic things he said in the car. The traveling he talked about and the buying me anything I want… It’s too much. I know he has money, but I don’t want him to think he has to do these things for me to have fun.
I need to talk to him about the gesture later, but right now he looks so happy that I don’t want to ruin the moment. Doesn’t he know that I would be happy even if we lived in a shack?
“Talk to your mom about moving in, but remember that you’re an adult and can make your own choices. Just do what you want to do.”
“Yes, Alpha,” I say with a smile as I salute him and pull out my house key.
“Hold on,” he says. I put the key in the lock but don’t turn it. I instead give Jaxon a questioning look. I don’t even have time to ask him what he wants before he kisses me again. His angelic but sinful lips will never get old for me.
He whispers, “I love you,” to me in between kisses.
When I’m in his arms, the rest of the world disappears and it’s just us. After a minute or two of kissing by my front door, he growls and pulls away.
“Sorry, Ezra’s mind is on some pack business. I have to go.”
“It’s okay. I was supposed to be inside by now, but you’re so obsessed with me that you just couldn’t let me go,” I say with a smirk. He rolls his eyes and kisses me on the head.
“More than you know,” he mumbles.
As he walks to his car, I can’t help but think that this is the last normal thing I’ll do for a while. It’s only Wednesday tomorrow, but a lot can happen in a day.
Last night, it was hard to fall asleep. I have a hard time falling asleep without Jaxon on days when I spend a lot of time with him, which is most days. My self-hating brain tells me I’m just a needy girlfriend, but the more logical part of me knows that it could be a side effect of the mate bond. I don’t know what happens when you mark and don’t mate with werewolves, but maybe it just makes us want to be together more?
I have to ask him for sure because not getting enough sleep is not okay. I appreciate my sleep so much more now that I’ve been through that whole sleeping spell nightmare. I crawled up the stairs and rolled myself up in my sheets, which are not as soft as Jaxon’s, after watching two movies with Mom.
Seeing the ugly bags under my eyes makes me realize that what Jaxon said last night was true. He wanted me to live with him. Live with him all the time. Oh my God. I really want to do it. The time is 7:15 A.M. This means I have a lot of time to kill before my 2:00 class with Skyler.
I think today is a good day to try out some new makeup. I’ve never been very good at it, but after spending a lot of time with Natalie, I’ve learned a few things. Since I got a boyfriend, I’ve been paying more attention to what she says about her clothes, makeup, and hair. I hope I’ve learned something from her, but who knows?
I messed up the wing liner twice, so I guess it’s just not meant to be today. With some light glitter to make me look more alive, I end up with a lavender and violet smokey eye. I smile big at my reflection when I step back from the mirror. I don’t look too bad.
I put on a white crop top and mom jeans, and I’m going to wear a big, fluffy jacket over it when I go outside. Skyler made me buy this when we were at the mall because she said I have terrible taste. I put my hair in a cute, messy bun and ran down the stairs to make coffee. I need at least three cups to get through today.
Mom is already downstairs with Maisie. I got up just in time for breakfast. I smile and shake my head when I see that Mom made heart- and star-shaped chocolate chip pancakes with scrambled eggs on the side to “get in our morning protein.” She’s a sucker for Maisie, but I’m not complaining because I get to enjoy them too.
“Good morning, honey. How did you sleep?” My mom doesn’t even look at me as she automatically grabs my favorite mug from the cabinet and starts making coffee for me. She is an angel.
“I guess that’s fine,” I mumble as I grab a plate and start to serve myself. Maisie giggles and says thank you when I tell her how pretty her butterfly hair clips are.
“What do you mean ‘I guess’?” Mom asks, tilting her head slightly and looking at me with motherly concern. I take a big breath and think about how to be careful with this subject.
“Well, I got home late last night and we stayed up watching movies. I also had a hard time falling asleep.”
“Oh no, honey. Are you having nightmares again?” She puts her hand on my forehead right away to check if I have a fever. “You know, I didn’t say anything before, but you were up all night mumbling strange things. You looked really sick, but then after your ‘sleepover with Skyler'” she said with air quotes, “you were miraculously better. Want to tell me what that was about?”
She doesn’t say the question in a way that makes her sound like she’s accusing someone; she just sounds curious. I really don’t know what to say to her right now. When she brought up the nightmares, everything I had planned to say went out the window. I didn’t even know she could tell how sick I was getting from not sleeping, but I guess she did and didn’t say anything. I need to make something up fast.
“Okay… I might have stayed at Jaxon’s place those nights.”
“Of course,” Mom laughs.
“But!” I lift my hands. “Being with Jaxon helped with the nightmares,” I said.
“That’s so sweet, honey! Do you think you’ll be spending more time over there?”
This is my chance. This is the best time for me to tell her about Jaxon’s offer. At first, she’ll probably say no, but if you beg and make a deal, she might change her mind and say yes. I know I don’t need her permission, but I really want it. I don’t want to leave her alone like Dad did. He was never the best dad, but after he hit me and yelled at us, Mom had to leave him and move to another state. I don’t know where he is now, and I hope I never have to see him again.
I can’t help but feel bad that my mom is all by herself. I wanted to fill the gap my father left. I know she hasn’t moved on yet, but maybe she’ll see how grown up I am when I leave the house. I can help Maisie when she needs me to. She might start dating again soon.
But we aren’t there yet. Maybe if I slowly tell her that I’m not going to live at home anymore, she’ll start to think about what life will be like without me around as much. I take a deep breath and decide that now is the time.
“I was really thinking about spending a lot of time over there… Like, maybe all of my time?” I bet I look constipated because of the way my face looks. My eyebrows are furrowed, my teeth are clenched, and my eyes are wide. My mom rolls her lips and blinks at me. We both just look at each other, not knowing what to do or say.
My mom finally speaks up and asks a question. “Do you really think it’s too early for you to move in?”
When she says this, my heart sinks. I know that every little reason she has to doubt the move is one I’ve already thought about. I thought she would be hesitant at first, but it’s still hard to hear.
“Maybe it seems early, but I want this. He makes me laugh, he’s so sweet to me, and he’s really protective. I know he’ll take good care of me and we’re not going to break up. I know that may sound crazy to you, but I know we’re going to stay together forever. Maybe I’m a romantic, but I love him and I want to be with him all the time. And I’ll still come a lot and take care of Maisie when you have work. Jaxon even said he could pick her up sometimes! It can work. I just want—no, I need your support on this.”
My mom looks like she’s not sure what to do. She looks at Maisie, who is eating pancakes with syrup and humming softly, not knowing how serious our conversation is. Then she gives me a sad smile.
“Sweetheart, would this make you happy?”
I didn’t think she would say that at all. I thought she would say, “Wait a few more months” or “You don’t know that you two won’t break up,” but instead, she asked me if this would make me happy. I nod my head a lot, and my eyes fill with tears.
“Yes, Mom. It would.”
The tears of joy fall down my face when she smiles. I know I have the best mom ever because she hugs me so tightly. She put aside her bad history with men and let me choose what I wanted to do. She believes in me and is there for me, which means more to me than she’ll ever know.
We hug and cry in the middle of the kitchen until Maisie comes up and stops us.
“Calla, why are you crying?”
I quickly wipe away my tears and look at my mom. She knows what I’m thinking and starts to explain to Maisie what’s going on. Mom kneels down next to Maisie’s chair and straightens out the pink skirt that has sparkles on it.
“Sweetie, Calla is just really happy. These are happy tears.” Maisie looks at me, as if to say that Mom is telling the truth. I laugh and shake my head as I wipe away the last of my tears. I really hope my makeup doesn’t get messed up.
Maisie starts clapping her hands and bouncing up and down in her seat. “Why are you so happy? Are we getting a pony or a doggy?” I can feel the tears coming back, but this time for a different reason. I can feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket, and I’m sure it’s Jaxon checking in on me. He probably knows that I’m upset and wants to help me feel better. It makes me more sure that I want to live with him.
“No, I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to live with Jaxon now.”
Maisie stops bouncing in her seat and makes a cute face of concentration by pouting her lip and tilting her head to one side.
“But… all of your stuff is here.” She looks completely lost, and I hate that I have to tell her that all of my stuff will be moving too.
“Sweetheart,” my mom says. “Calla is moving in with Jaxon, so she’ll take all of her things from here and take them to his house. She’ll sleep there every night, but she’ll still come back to visit and play with you all of the time!” My mom tries to soften the news, but Maisie’s eyes are already watering. I hate seeing her so upset, but she’s too young to understand what Jaxon and I are going through.
I quickly bend down next to my mom and hug Maisie. Her soft whimpers make me feel like my chest is sinking. “Maisie, we’ll see each other a lot! We can still color and watch movies together! We can play with dolls whenever you want, okay?” She holds on to the back of my shirt tighter as she clings to me.
“I don’t want you to go!”