Page 39 of My Broken Mate

I sneak to the kitchen not to wake up either of my brothers. The last thing I need is to alert them. If only the weeks of restless sleep or no sleep at all wouldn’t start showing in the way my reflexes are getting slower, and I sometimes feel like I’m walking on cotton.

Or that everything around me is dimmed.

All my concentration goes to not slurring my words and to staying focused when I am in my college classes. It’s exhausting.

A loud noise right next to me startles me. I almost hit my head against the open cupboard door. It takes minutes for me to realize what just happened. Right in front of me are the shards ofthe glass I was about to take from the cupboard. I was so lost in my thoughts, so dizzy, that I didn’t even notice what I was doing.

Was that me? Did I just drop the glass? Why did I not notice? Seriously, I know I am tired, but it’s almost like I wasn’t even there the last couple of minutes. I glance at the kitchen clock, noticing it’s not been minutes but probably half an hour.

Goddess, I am going insane.

Kneeling down, I gather the shards, startled by a sharp pain against my palm. It takes me a while to process what just happened. Only when I see the scarlet drips falling onto the floor do I realize I accidentally cut myself. Instead of freaking out, however, I feel a weird sense of calm. I am not going insane. This feels real. I am real.

I tighten my grip on the shard in my hand, trying to feel the pain for a little longer. I want to keep my mind focused. It just seems to help.

“Remy?”

I startle, basically jumping up and hitting my elbow against the counter.

“Goddess,” Gabe blurts out. “Sorry for startling you! Are you okay?” He gazes at me. “Oh, damn! You are hurt! What happened?”

“I wanted to grab a glass of water, and dropped it,” I admit, deciding for as much of the truth as possible. Gabriel isn’t stupid and he would look through a lie now. “I guess I was still sleepy,” I add.

“So that’s the noise I heard,” Gabe says, grabbing a towel to help me clean up.

“You were still up?”

“Yes, I was working.”

Awkward silence engulfs us like always when it’s just the two of us.

“I will get the doctor immediately,” he says.

It takes a moment for me to understand what he is talking about. Cold dread fills me. “That’s not necessary. It’s just a small cut!”

“It doesn’t look small.” Gabriel stands up and takes a step towards me. “Let me see.”

I flinch back before I can even check my own reaction. Gabriel stops instantly.

“I didn’t mean… I won’t hurt you,” he says quietly.

“I know,” I say, trying to finally get the whirlwind of my thoughts and emotions in check. “I am just jumpy.”

“Didn’t sleep well?” Gabe inquires.

“The upcoming exams are on my mind,” I tell him. “As usual.” If there is one thing I know that will always get Gabriel off my case, it is mentioning anything school or work-related. He lives for both of these things. I know he was an ace at college, and loved it, and he is the same at work. Beta Levi claims he is a workaholic, and maybe he is, but he also seems to have fun with it.

Unlike me.

“Oh, right, I almost forgot about that! You are prepared well, aren’t you?”

“I studied as much as I could,” I mutter.

“Then there is nothing to worry about. And about your hand—”

“It really looks worse than it is,” I say, smiling and wrapping a towel around it. “Don’t worry.”

The last thing I need is for the ruckus here to be loud enough to startle Sean. I can lie to Gabe easily, but Sean can look through everyone, it seems.