Page 119 of My Broken Mate

He shuffles to the kitchen. Silence engulfs us before Sean looks at me. “Promise me, you won’t do anything stupid.”

“I don’t…” I swallow thickly, realizing I have no idea what I want to do and how to deal with my emotions.

“Whatever you need, I will help you with it, just please don’t do anything dangerous.”

I clasp the folder in my hand, not sure how to answer him. Eventually, I nod, deciding to settle for something I know I can stick to. “I won’t do anything that endangers my life.”

I know it’s not what Sean wanted to hear. It’s all too evident in his eyes and by the sigh that escapes his lips. I can’t promise him more than that, and much to my relief, he doesn’t push for more.

Mom always called me Remus. Maybe this is part of the reason why I didn’t let anyone call me anything else but Remy for a long time. Looking back now, I can barely remember the months after her death. I only feel this deep ache that gets worse when I think of her.

With Sean’s help, I retrieved everything from the safe, and together with Kata, I looked through everything. She was at my side through it all. Most of the things hold sentimental value, which makes this all so much worse. If it were just money, I could have lived without receiving it sooner, but knowing my father kept this memorabilia from me, my mom’s most personal possessions, and the fact that he didn’t even abide by her last dying wish sends me down a spiral of self-deprecating thoughts again.

I try not to let them suck me too deep. Needing to keep a cool head and a clear mind, I instead take the only piece I haven’t opened yet: Mom’s letter. I haven’t read it, but attached to it, there is an image of a place I know all too well.

I have only been there once, but it’s ingrained in my memory.

And now?

I tap my lips before getting up and roaming through my room. In a corner, there is my bag for college, and on my desk, the books I use for studying. We just had our second round of exams in between the mess that just happened, and I don’t even know how I managed to get through them. I don’t think I did particularly well, but even Gabriel urged me not to pressure myself too much. I will pass anyway. It doesn’t matter if it will be with top grades or mediocre ones.

And for once, I actually listened to his advice.

My phone rings, a familiar name popping up on the screen. “Kata?”

“Remy!” she exclaims. “I am so glad you picked up. I swear I was about to drive to your place.”

Her words instantly startle me. “Is anything wrong? Did something happen to you or your brothers?”

“No,” she blurts out. “I just felt something through the bond.”

“Goddess,” I groan. “I am so sorry. I just… I went through some documents again.”

“Your mom’s things?” she asks softly.

“Yes.”

“Do you want me to drop by and stay with you?”

Yes, I want that. I want nothing more than that, but I also don’t want to burden her with it. She is the light. But after the last couple of days in which I have been looking at the pictures of my mom, thinking of my brothers and how much our father traumatized us, but also how hard Sean and Gabriel are on themselves, I have realized that I need to do the same. I need to finally find a way to make the hurt, terrified child in me go for good, and allow the adult me to progress and move forward. I want to be able to keep the light in Kata’s eyes without relying on her to save me and my sanity.

She already has saved me by being my mate and the person she is. Now it’s my turn to move on from my past, to be able to walk with her without sucking all the strength from her.

“I am okay,” I answer. “I was just confused. It’s late, babe, I don’t want to keep you awake.”

“Are you sure? Because I would totally come!”

I know she would. “You are the best. I am so thankful I was allowed to meet you.”

There is hesitation in Kata’s voice. “Are you really okay?”

I think about lying to her, but then shake my head. Placing the picture of me and Mom on my desk, I decide to settle for a statement closer to the truth. “I will be.”

“Okay, but call me if you need me, or write me. I will be there in an instant,” she urges.

“I will.”

“See you tomorrow, Remy.”