Page 149 of My Broken Mate

Joel steps outside at this point, starting to prepare the grill. Eve has prepared meat and vegetables for an army-sized gathering, claiming there will be fewer leftovers than we think. Maybe he is right. The barbecue has an open end after all, and we are all pretty healthy eaters.

“Perfect weather for this,” Joel beams. “It’s not as warm as in July, but the days are still long and it’s sunny.”

“How come I barely see you out, Joel? When I visit your regular bars, you are hardly there.” Ayden asks before he gapes in mock-surprise. “Don’t tell me you have a secret boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a secret boyfriend,” Joel says, rolling his eyes.

“But you must be getting some action somewhere.” Ayden grins. “Goddess, it’s true, isn’t it?”

“I have just been very busy recently.”

Is it just me, or does Joel sound surprisingly evasive? I try to get a look at his expression. He is smiling as usual, but I swear he is hiding something.

“He is right, we are incredibly busy,” Eve backs him up while putting some freshly cut vegetables on the table. “We’ve had plenty of contracts to draft.”

“I still don’t believe that’s all,” Aiden mutters.

“Leave it,” Fi says. “Don’t argue with an alpha.”

“Yeah, maybe you are right.”

Joel just shakes his head, amused, but doesn’t say anymore. I don’t know if he is telling the truth or if he actually is seeing someone. It’s certainly none of my business, but I do hope for my brothers to find their happiness soon. They are both still very reserved whenever the topic of mates comes up, unless it’s about my mate.

“Here they are,” Eve says, and raises his hand to wave.

Slowly, our friends pool in, bringing more salads and dessert. Seeing how it’s Sean who organized the dessert, I bet it’s some fancy high-class stuff that will be amazing. The air in our garden is buzzing with voices. Sean follows Eve inside to put the desserts into the fridge before he joins Joel at the grill. They talk quietly, and I can see Joel’s eyes lighting up here and there. Sean respects Joel so much, though his admiration of him has turned into something else over the last couple of months.

Meanwhile, Gabriel and Eve are chatting with Ayden and Cora, and Fi and Kiki giggle about something Lyle is telling them. I get this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach again. This here, is close to perfect, but at the same time, it makes me realize I never had it when growing up. And I am still scared someone will snatch this happiness away.

Instinctively, my hand moves to my neck, touching my mark. It’s there! Remus marked me. I am officially mated to my fated mate. No one can take that away from me just like that. Thinking of Remus and his mark immediately makes me feel more at ease.

“Are you happy?” Remus asks me, hugging me from behind, his whole presence filling me up in a way that makes it feel like I am floating.

“Yes, but also a bit sad.”

“How come?”

“I wish life could always be like this. I wish I could freeze this moment and keep it forever.”

He rests his chin on top of my head. “I get it,” he admits. “Moments like these make me feel melancholic, too.”

“That’s the better word for it,” I admit.

“But is it a bad thing?” he asks. “I think it’s because we can finally appreciate who we are and our lives. And this moment is proof of it. It’s going to be one day of many.”

“You honestly believe that?” I ask hopefully.

“I do, and for a fact, I know that we have a lot of parties and dates ahead of us. We have our trip to the lake next week. We have plans for our study groups, we have my birthday party coming up, and another family dinner in two weeks.” He pauses. “Actually, it’s almost too much socializing.”

I elbow him, making him laugh. The moment of ‘melancholy’ passes, and I can feel it being replaced with joy. I guess I will need to learn how to handle my fears and these spikes of anxiety. I think everyone has them occasionally, albeit some more often than others.

But Remus is right. I have a lot to look forward to. A whole life with him. Maybe in the future we will have our own little family. And I know for a fact that we will treat our children with so much more love than our parents did with us.

For now, I want to build as many core memories as possible with my friends, family and my mate, so that one day, there will be a lot more happy moments to look back on than bad ones.

“Let’s take a picture,” Eve says all of a sudden.

“Oh, by the goddess, do we have to?” Ayden groans.