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Anxiety knots in my stomach. Raine was supposed to meet me for lunch, but she didn’t show and she didn’t turn up for work today either. The girls at her work are worried too, as she hasn’t called in sick, which is unlike her. They’ve been trying to get in touch, but her phone keeps going to voicemail. A sense of unease washes over me as I call Tony to ask him to go check Raine’s parents' house. I tell him I’m going to head to her apartment to see if she is still there. This feeling is gnawing at me, churning my stomach, and I can’t ignore it.

Preemptively, I don’t park directly outside her building, but instead I go down the street. I don’t want to take any chances. Unsure what I’m walking in on, I want to scope her place out first. So, I choose to walk up the back way to her apartment, and take my time scanning my surroundings as I go. Raine’s apartment is old and all on one floor, with no close neighbors, so it should be easy to see if there’s anyone there or not. Tony calls before I get to her apartment. He explains that she’s not at her parents' house, and hasn’t been all day, shit!

With a sense of urgency, I send him to find Jack. There’s something wrong, I can feel it like an invisible burden, weighing me down.

Carefully, I scan my surroundings when I get to the back of her apartment, and from the outside, everything looks dark, but the curtains have all been drawn so it’s impossible to really tell. I fucking hope that she’s just taking some time off like I suggested. Maybe she forgot to charge her phone or something? I really hope so, yet my gut begs to differ.

Just as I start making my way around the side of the building, heading toward the front, I hear the front door open and close. I step back, hiding myself from view, while I wait to see who it is. Fuck! It’s Jack, that fucking prick. What the fuck is he doing here?

As I stay back, waiting, my mind comes up with all different scenarios, none of which I like the outcomes for. Nervously, I take a deep breath before I creep out, making sure he’s gone, scanning my surroundings again as I head toward the front door. I knock several times, but there’s no answer, so I bang on the window shouting for Raine, but still nothing. Panicking a little, I call Tony to tell him I found Jack and to head over here. I may need back up if Jack returns. Anxious, I bang louder, dismissing the bad thoughts, as I continue to bang. I don’t want to think of the what ifs. I can’t, I just can’t.

“Raine, Sweetheart, are you there?”

As soon as Tony gets here, the panic has taken over completely and I’m no longer in control of my thoughts, my mind is a whirlwind, and I’m unable to stop it. With fear overcoming every fiber of my being, I ask Tony to look out as I take my jacket off before securely wrapping it around my hand. As hard as I can, I smash through the window next to the door. It takes several tries to get the window through, but once there’s a big enough hole, I disregard my jacket and stick my hand through, unlocking the front door. Cautiously, signaling for Tony to stay here, I slowly make my way inside, taking it step by step.

It’s dark and eerie as I search the living room first, but there’s no one in here so I scan around, searching for any little clue to Raine’s whereabouts. There are two chairs facing each other, placed oddly by the wall, it looks like someone had previously been tied to the radiator …No, I stop myself, I can’t think like that. I move on and search the kitchen, nothing. I move back through quickly heading toward the bedroom. I take some deep breaths before entering. The thoughts running through my mind aren't good, and it doesn’t help that as soon as I open the bedroom door I notice broken zip ties on the floor. What the fuck happened here? I don’t want to be thinking the way I am, but it's difficult not to. I search around the bedroom, but it’s obvious she’s not in here, the only place left to check is the bathroom. Angrily, I kick the zip ties with my foot as I swallow the bile that is forcing its way up my throat. I take another few deep breaths, then head toward the bathroom. I try to open the door but I can’t, it’s locked. Shit! No! That's not right, I bang on the door.

“Raine, are you in there? Raine?”

There’s no answer or movement. If there’s no one in there, why the fuck is the door locked? Fuck this! I start kicking at the door, hoping to kick it in, but it doesn’t budge. Tony comes running in, curious to see what all the commotion is. We don’t say anything to each other, he just knows. We take turns kicking at the door until I put my foot through it. It’s not a big hole, but cautiously, I bend down to see if I can see through. It doesn’t work, I can’t see anything. I put my hand through the hole, and pull the handle from the inside, but the door still doesn’t budge. Deflated, I feel around for a lock but there isn’t one, it must be locked with a key. Fuck! Again, Tony and I start kicking, until it finally gives in. Barging in, I freeze at the sight as my heart stops. It's Raine, lying unconscious on the floor.

“Call an ambulance,” I shout out. “Hurry, Tony.” As I rush down to her. “Raine, Sweetheart,” but she doesn’t respond. With trembling hands, I check her breathing. It's faint, but it’s there, Thank God! I gently hold her face, “Raine, can you hear me?” I whisper as I softly shake her, until I notice the marks on her neck, what the fuck? Did he strangle her? That mother fucker just signed his own death certificate. Carefully, I scan over her for any more injuries, her wrists are all cut up and bleeding, and her ankles are marked the same way.

“What did he do to you?” I whisper, cradling her face and I can’t stop the tears that come, as I gently move the hair from her face. “Raine, Sweetheart.” I don’t want to chance moving her as I’m unsure if she has any more injuries. I don’t want to cause any more damage, I can’t risk it, I can’t risk her.

“Please, Sweetheart,” I beg, “Please wake up.”

My hands visibly shake as I hard lump forms in my throat. I can’t lose her, I need her.

“Please, Raine!”

It takes the ambulance six minutes to arrive. It’s so hard to watch them with her, but harder to see her like this. The paramedics secure her to the stretcher. They are letting me go in the ambulance with her. I think they knew I would stir up hell if they didn’t.

After they safely have her in the ambulance, I jump in the back, and turn my head to say to Tony,

“Find him.” He nods, and I trust Tony to do what is needed. He has never let me down before.