Page 24

Where the fuck is she? She hasn’t shown up for work. A growing unease has settled over me and I’ve taken to staying at her apartment, hoping to catch a glimpse of her when she eventually returns. Unable to shake the feeling that something isn’t right. I even reached out to her parents, but they, too, are in the dark, claiming they haven’t seen her. Admittedly I tried to convey the weight of my worry, but they reassured me that they had spoken to her. According to them, she’s fine and will stop by in a few days, yet their calmness does little to ease the knot of anxiety tightening in my chest. I was even desperate enough to call the girls she works with, but the two fuckers wouldn’t tell me a thing, even though I know they know something. What aren’t they telling me? And why?

I stayed up all last night waiting for her, freezing might I add, this place is a dump. It’s some pre-fifties building that has never been renovated properly. I think I remember Raine rambling on about it being an old library or some shit like that. Either way it’s a shit hole and I thought, well I hoped, that maybe she would show up at some point.

Ever since I woke up to my apartment being empty, I have been having weird flashbacks, at least I think they are flashbacks. It’s hard to figure out what is real and not right now. My head is in a constant spin, with a consistent headache that won’t shift. The flashbacks, or visions, whatever they are, are always of Raine and sunflowers, I can’t wrap my mind around it, why sunflowers?

Exhausted, I swallow down my fifth coffee of the morning, even though it doesn’t feel like it, it doesn’t even feel like I've slept either. I keep forgetting what I’m doing, my brain is all foggy. That son of a bitch must have given me something when he had me. Little does the fucker know that I have my ways, I will bring him down, one way or another.

Anxiously, I gather my belongings, as the knot forming in my stomach tightens, she has never been gone for this long, not even during her weekends out with the girls. The uncertainty is unsettling, and I can't shake the feeling as my mind races with possibilities. Could something have happened, compelling her to stay away? Or perhaps she’s not at their place at all.

Hesitantly, I start making my way outside, getting ready to lock up, but just as I make my way to the door, I hear a car coming up the driveway. I make my way to the window, pulling the curtain back slightly. Curiosity eats away at me as I peer out the window to see if it’s Raine, it’s not. But I think I recognize the car. Who is that?

To stay hidden, I step back, certain I recognize the car.

Patiently, I wait for whomever is in the car to exit, but for several minutes no one does. I debate whether to go out and find out who it is or wait a few more minutes. But just as I consider moving, the driver's side door opens, and Donovan Archer appears, that mother fucker! What the fuck is he doing outside Raine's apartment?

That’s why I recognize the car, it belongs to that prick.

Reluctantly, I watch as he walks around to the passenger side, opening the door. This is unbelievable, Raine gets out of the car. No...No....No. It can’t be? What the fuck is going on?

Overcome with dread, I hold my head in my hands, my breath quickens as a sharp pain shoots through my head. With a forceful strength I steady myself, and suck in several deep breaths before averting my gaze back to the window. What is she doing with him? What the hell? They look intimate as if they are two old friends reconnecting. Why are they like this? My vision blurs and I lose my footing for a second. I close my eyes, to see if that will help. But I get hit with flashbacks, images of Raine and Donovan take over my mind, they’re asleep, cuddled up, as if on a loop it replays over and over. The knot of anxiety comes back tenfold. I pinch myself hard trying to gain my composure and as soon as it subsides, I turn my gaze back to the window.

Seriously, they are kissing, what? This must be a dream; it has to be, this can’t be happening. My vision blurs red as my mind tries to take hold of what I have seen.

I make my way over to the chair to sit down. Real or not, I can’t watch anymore.

The room is dark, but I barely notice as I sit trying to contemplate everything, but my mind is incapable of processing at this moment and confusion turns to anger the longer I sit. Is that where she has been for the last few days? That slut. Is she sleeping with him? I bet she is. How could she do this? I thought I had her right where I wanted her, she loves me, she was meant to wait for me, not him.

With anger seeping through my veins like wildfire, I rise from the chair and take another glance out the window. I see Donavan as he gets back into the car and drives off. Raine watches him like some lovesick puppy. Disgusted, I move back and pace the room, the rage within me burning hotter than before.

It’s out of control by the time I hear the key in the door, so I sit back down in the dark room and wait. Raine walks in, but she doesn’t notice me, her vision doesn’t glance my way. Silently, I watch her, she hums away to herself as she walks through to the kitchen. Observing her closely, I watch as she grabs a glass from the cupboard, then makes her way to the fridge with a glass in hand, and pulls out the orange juice. A wide grin covers her face as she pours it out and I swallow down the bile that nearly spills out. Closing my eyes, I calm myself, breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

Right at this moment, she disgusts me, but I will still have her, she will still be mine, not his. I promised my mother before she died, it was her last wish for me. But I was waiting until I got my revenge to make it happen, it looks like it’s happening sooner now. Finally, she finishes her drink, and makes her way back through the space, closer to where I sit. Unaware that I’m here, I clear my throat loudly, making her jump. “Jack, what are you doing?” she yells at me. “What am I doing?” I growl, rising from the chair. “What the fuck are you doing?” I approach her, closing the gap between us. “Where have you been Raine, huh? What have you been doing?” Cutting her eyes at me, she doesn’t answer.

“Well...I am waiting.” I say, annoyed at her ignorance.

With her hands firmly planted on her hips, she shoots me a piercing glare, anger flashes in her stare, good, now she knows how I feel. “Why is that your business, when does anything I do concern you?” she snaps.

“Anything you do is my business, you were meant to wait for me…So, come on...answer me. Where have you been?” I ask as I start to circle around her, waiting for an answer. “Come on Raine, tell me,” I yell louder.

“Fuck you, Jack! I never said that I would wait, never once did any of those words pass my lips, and you know exactly where I was.” She bites back.

“I do... I just saw you and that prick outside, but I wanted to hear it from you,” I snarl, stopping right in front of her face again.

Nervously she laughs, “You saw me outside...yes, right, more like you followed me.” I’m taken back by her comment, but conceal my confusion, when did I follow her? Flashbacks enter my mind again, the same images as before. Maybe I did follow her, but that’s not the point here.

“Tell me, Raine, where the fuck were you? I want to hear you say it.”

She avoids my question again and I think she’s purposely trying to wind me up.

“Where were you?” I roar, closing the distance between us again.

“Fuck you!” She spits out at me and turns to leave.

No way, absolutely not, I grab hold of her arm and drag her back to me and with a bitterness that matches my anger, I snap. “You will fucking answer me, Raine!” Gripping her arm tightly, I squeeze it, fighting the urge to rip her arm right out of her socket. “Answer me!” I roar, louder.

“Stop, you're hurting me,” she pleads, and her lips quiver as she speaks.

“Tell me, Raine, and I'll let go!” I roar even louder.

She squirms, trying to escape my grip but I soon realize nothing I do is working, so I try a different approach.

Softly I lower my voice, and try to appeal to her kind nature, hoping to persuade her that way. “Please Raine, just tell me?” I plead, pressing my forehead against hers. “Please.”

“I'm not telling you shit,” she spits out with venom as she tries to push me away, but I still have her arm gripped tightly.

“You need to leave now, Jack.”

I laugh at her. Leave, she’s asking me to leave, fuck that. “That's not how this is going to go, you will tell me.” I snap, and this bitch stays silent.

My patience is wearing thin, why doesn't she just tell me? What else is she hiding? “Just tell me!” This time I’m screaming in her face, yet she still doesn’t falter, her gaze is averted elsewhere.

Exasperated, I shake the life out of her, digging my nails into her skin. “Say something, will you?” I try pleading again.

“What do you want me to say? Do you want me to tell you I fucked him? Is that what you want? Do you want to know how much he made me scream out his name? How many different positions we tried? Is that what you want to know?” She snaps.

Outraged, I drop her arm and take a step back. “What are you, his whore now?” I growl at her with disgust.

Without warning, she raises her hand to hit me, but I move out of the way and take a step toward her, gripping her by the shoulders.

“Just spreading your legs to any prick that smiles at you, huh?” She spits in my face, and I laugh maliciously at her before I slam my forehead against hers. It knocks her out, and her body goes limp. I let her fall to the floor, not bothering to try and catch her. Instead, I start to drag her through the apartment into the bedroom, leaving her on the floor while I look for something to tie her up with.