Page 78 of Moonlight Hearts

That caught my attention.“What are your dreams about?”

He distracted me briefly, kissing my shoulder as he pulled at my pants, the soft material giving easily.

“They’re strange dreams.You’re always happy, and sometimes you tell me I made you wait too long.”

“Oh.I think you’re always on time, actually.When you come to the diner.”

He chuckled.“Lift your hips.That’s not how you mean it.Not in my dreams, my heart.I’m sorry I made you wait.I’m sorry I didn’t find you sooner.I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“But, Soyer—”

He kissed me, leaving my pants and boxers around my ankles.“Just say you accept the apology.Please.”

I sucked in air, breathless after his lips on mine.“I can’t do that.There’s nothing you need to apologize for.”

“Ah, Amory.Amory, Amory.”

He trailed off, nuzzling my neck.I wrapped him in my arms, hugged him more loosely than he had me.

“You know, how I grew up…it was all about being guilty.I didn’t know that back then though.It was about asking for forgiveness for things that aren’t bad, or things you hadn’t even really done.I think I learned something about all that when I met you.”

“And what is that?”His head was buried against my chest, and his hair tickled my chin.

I bit my lip, gathering my thoughts before trying to explain this.It was one of the slow things that had come to me during my ongoing quest to unlearn what I now knew had been falsehoods taught to me since childhood.

“You know, before you, I was scared to come out.To Dwayne and Jenny, and Rosa.”

He made an angry noise, a growl almost.

“But then I sort of accidentally did.Because you showed up.But it was fine.No one even made that big of a deal out of it.Except me, I guess.I think what I’m trying to say is, I maybe would’ve apologized back then for being who I am, but I didn’t do anything that needed apologizing for.It’s just that sometimes, the world tells us who we are is wrong, and we should feel bad for being ourselves, but that’s actually bullshit.

“The world is wrong sometimes, and we are the only right things in it if we stick with being kind and being who we are.I’m pretty sure you want to apologize for the world telling you some bullshit, and I’m not going to take that.”

At first I thought he was breaking into tears, but then he lifted his head, and I could see that he was laughing, but not as if he thought what I had said was funny.He laughed like sunshine on a winter day, brightening the world and making it sparkle like so many precious stones.

“You keep me humble, my heart.”

“Huh?”

“Wisdom beyond your years, beauty beyond compare.Just stay who you are, hmm?”

“Well, that’s exactly what I learned is the right thing to do.It’s what I’m saying.”

He kissed my chin.“Yes, that’s right.Be you, always.Don’t hide from me.”

“All right.”I ran my hand through his hair, and we stayed like that for a while.It was as if we’d escaped from the stanzas of a love poem; the lovers longingly staring into each other’s eyes.

I was the first to move, the first to break that spell we had woven between ourselves.I let my hand wander from his hair to his shoulder, where the tip of a phoenix feather shone darkly, just peeking out from his collar.He shivered in pleasure when I touched it, touched him, but he didn’t speak, didn’t move.

My pants were still caught around my ankles, so I finally kicked them off.“Can you tell me what to do now?What you want?”

He didn’t speak, the moment stretching once more.I was about to say please, but then he pushed up into a sitting position to take off his shirt.His phoenix bird moved with him, and I could see the passion in his eyes.

“Lie on your stomach and spread your legs for me.”

He paused for just a heartbeat before getting off me so I could do what he’d told me to, my breath hitching, excitement making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

I turned my head to watch him undress completely.His eyes were on me as well, much like how he would observe me at the diner—that watchful regard that had come to mean something special to me that I wouldn’t have wanted to miss for the world.