Page 59 of Moonlight Hearts

Across from me, the tea now only lukewarm between us, Soyer was quietly…waiting?Fuming?Worrying?One of those.I held out my phone to him, and he looked at the message.

“That’s good.Everyone will be there.”

I nodded.“Yeah.”I swallowed, but my mouth was dry.I drank the rest of my tea, not tasting a thing.“Were you—back then.Did you get hurt?”

“Bruises.One or two scratches.”

“I’m so sorry.”I couldn’t even imagine it, Soyer, all alone, going into that black forest to catch a witch.No.Not catch it.Kill it.I took a deep breath.“I’m so sorry.”

Soyer refilled my cup from the pot.“I’m not.I went out to take care of a witch who was harming others.I ended her.She’s dead now, and I’m having tea with the man I love, the man who wears my ring.I won, Amory.Don’t be sorry for that.”

Tears came to my eyes, and I didn’t quite understand why, because Soyer was right.He was here, and the witch wasn’t.“But you were hurt.And alone.I’m not sorry that you did what you set out to do, but I’m sorry there was no one to go with you and take care of you after.Can’t I be sorry for that?”

The question was garbled, messy, as tears flowed freely.When I closed my eyes to blink them away, I saw that room the witch had kept me in, the milky winter light from that small window, and felt the pain from my broken finger.Felt the witch drink my blood and enjoy it.

Then there were arms around me, arms like wings, and I felt Soyer’s heartbeat close to mine.I knew I was safe, had always been safe, but there was a root of anguish deep inside of me, and it wanted to burrow.

Soyer raised my arm, my watch arm, and tapped the glass of the watch face.

“Here.Look.What time is it?”

I blinked my eyes clear.“It’s almost two o’clock.”

“Exactly.Tell me the time exactly.To the second.”

“One fifty-six and thirty-eight, nine, forty.”

I felt calmer with each second that ticked away, and the tears slowed down.My vision cleared.

When it was just a few seconds past two, Soyer spoke again.

“There.Feeling better?”

“Yeah.”I ran a finger over the watch.“Why is that?”

“That’s just how it works.Do you want to go home?We don’t have to do any shopping today if you want to head home and rest.”

I shook my head, and Soyer took the chair next to me, our knees touching.“You want a new lemon squeezer.We’re getting you that.Fuck.I’m really sorry.I shouldn’t have freaked out like that.”

His left eyebrow shot up.“Says who?”

I rubbed my eyes.They were tender, swollen.An unattractive shade of red, probably.“All reason says so.It’s not really all that compassionate when I get so sad over you getting hurt that you have to comfort me, is it?Makes me feel very self-absorbed.”

That left eyebrow stayed up.“There’s no prize for being hyper-critical of yourself, Amory.Has anyone ever told you that?Consider how you trying to be perfect makes me look next to you.”He buffed his nails on his shirt, then examined them.“Don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not hiding how imperfect I am.”

That made me chuckle, the sound coming out slightly watery.“That’s where you’re wrong.You want to be perfect in how imperfect you are.Your Black Shuck reputation is perfectly maintained.If you want to criticize me for perfectionism, you might as well reprimand yourself.”There was a saying about throwing the first stone, but I wasn’t going to use that.It reeked of a past built on mores that had been stacked up and used to hurt me, and doubtless so many others as well.

From Soyer’s face, he’d never seen his reputation that way.Both his eyebrows were up, and his mouth was hanging slightly open.

“Who let your scalpel mind loose on the world?”

I picked up my cup to refill it.I was slightly shaky and the tea was cold, but I didn’t want to let it go to waste.“I don’t have a scalpel mind.I just…know you, I guess.A little.”

His expression shifted to a frown.“You know me a lot.Look, I just made you cry in order to tell you something about me I’ve never told anyone.You know me in a way no one ever has.”

I nodded.“Okay.But I know there’s so much more here.”I put my left hand on his chest, his ring on my finger bright as moonlight.“I know your heart enough to know there’s so much more I still don’t know.”

“Amory, when you say things like that, I want to kiss you and hold you close and keep you all to myself, for ever and ever.”