Page 78 of Monsters in Love: Lost in the Stars

Kanzex

When I approached her chamber, the air felt different. Heavy, charged. I could feel the static on my skin, a quiet hum that had nothing to do with the ship’s systems. It was her. Her presence wrapped itself around me like a whisper, a melody I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. And in that instant, I knew I was going to make a bad decision.

The room was dimly lit by the faint glow of the bioluminescent panels, casting long shadows against the walls. She stood there looking right at me without a care in the world, her eyes almost beckoning me to do what was on my mind from the moment I saw her.

A pang of guilt and shame rose within me, but I quickly swallowed it down as I inputted the code to her prison.

It was irrational, I knew. All I could see was her , this silent, fragile thing that needed my protection, especially from the likes of whatever it was pretending to be Karrus.

She looked lost in her thoughts—or perhaps trapped in her silence. I felt compelled, the moment we closed the distance, to touch her. With shaky hands, I reached out and caressed her jaw, running the back of my fingers gently toward her hair.

When she closed her eyes, my heart clenched but I couldn’t stop. Not now. Not when she hadn’t shown me any signs of resisting or pushing me away.

She wanted it. She had to. She had to have felt the same need I did. I was well aware of how my kind’s pheromones emitted into the air… especially when I was like this.

When she finally looked up, her eyes met mine, and I felt a strange shudder run through me. Her gaze was unfocused at first, as if she were seeing through me, and then—just like that—she was there , her full attention on me, like she could read every thought in my head.

"Why do you stay?" she asked, her voice soft, ethereal. But it wasn’t the question itself that unsettled me—it was the way she asked it, like she already knew the answer, as if she had known all along.

I swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how badly my body wanted to answer, how desperately I wanted to throw her to the ground and show her how much she had buried herself inside of me. There was a storm raging within me. "I… I’m trying," I said, my voice rough. "I shouldn’t be in here. I shouldn’t allow myself to taste you."

Her lips twitched, a faint smile curling at the corners, but it wasn’t a smile of amusement. She cupped my face between her hands and pulled me down to her level. My mouth parted in awe at her boldness, wanting to whisper the mating ritual right then and there. But she surprised me when she pressed her lips to my forehead.

The world altered and any previous gnawing hunger was subdued. When she took her touch away, I wanted to grab her hands and bring them back, but it was as if an invisible force was chastising me from the inside wordlessly.

"You think I am lost ?" she murmured, her gaze drifting down to the floor as she rocked gently, back and forth. "I am not lost, Dr. Scil. I have always been here, in the stars, in the cold emptiness. I have always been."

I frowned, stepping forward until we were a mere breath apart. I wanted to inhale her scent, to see if she was releasing some kind of pheromone that might explain why I was behaving so irrationally.

"But you’ve only just been brought here , locked away, a prisoner. They…" I paused, my throat tightening. "They took you. And damned if I wasn’t happy about it since it brought you to me."

Her eyes flickered to me again, sharp and piercing. "Because they are afraid," she whispered, barely audible. "They are afraid of what I am capable of. What you are capable of, too." She sighed softly. "Fear is the only thing that binds us together."

I recoiled, my stomach twisting at her riddles. "What do you mean? I’m not afraid of you."

She tilted her head, studying me in that disarming way of hers. "You should be," she said. The words settled like ice in my veins.

I opened my mouth to respond, but nothing came out. The air in the room grew colder, thicker, as if the very atmosphere was pushing against me. She watched me, unblinking, as if waiting for me to speak again.

I took a step back, my thoughts a jumbled mixture between both my growing need and my growing wariness. How was she doing this?

She unexpectedly took a step forward and traced a delicate finger down the front of my uniform. I was bespelled, unable to look away from her movements. By the time I raised my gaze to her face, she was coaxing me down to her level with a crook of her finger.

Being the fool I was, I obediently followed her command, my cock straining beneath my uniform.

“Knowledge can be a dangerous thing, doctor,” she whispered. “One, I’m unsure you’re capable of wielding just yet.”

My emotions stormed like a tempest. Offense, fury, shame, guilt, longing. They were all whipping up, threatening to choke me and bring me to my knees in front of her. Would she touch me again if I did? Though the thought was fleeting it was the biggest temptation I was unsure I wanted to fight.

“And how then, would I prepare myself for such a burden, Astraea ?”

With a soft smile, she took a step back, taking with her a part of my shame. The craziest part was, I wasn’t even sure what I was ashamed about, but the emotion was there like a living thing.

“Closed the door, doctor. It isn’t time yet,” she said smoothly, tilting her head and clasping her hands in front of her.

But before I could gather my thoughts, the door behind me slid open with a soft hiss. I looked over my shoulder sharply then back, and quickly punched in the code to close her chamber door, my heart pounding in my chest.

When I turned to see who had entered, there was no one there. I gritted my teeth over how jumpy I had become. I shouldn’t care what the others thought. She was my right to claim. My body chose her and she apparently has chosen me, else she would not have gifted me with the knowledge of knowing that I was not ready… not yet.

And that was when I realized: it wasn’t just me who she had drawn…

Was this what Karrus’ speaking about? Had she told him something similar? My tail swished and my back spines stood. I didn’t like the idea one bit. Just the thought of him touching her…

But she had drawn him, didn’t she? It had to be the only explanation. And worse— she knew . She knew exactly why whatever was masquerading as Karrus was here, why he had come.

But before I could confront him, I had to strategize. The other crew members didn’t know what had transpired. They didn’t need to know.

I turned back to her, my heart thudding. "What does he want with you?" I whispered urgently, my voice shaking with the weight of the question. I wanted her answer and at the same time, I didn’t. But the researcher in me refused to block out any knowledge I might gain… knowledge that would prepare me to handle what she spoke of earlier.

She didn’t answer right away, but when she did, it was with a quiet finality that made my blood run cold.

"Nothing is what it seems, Dr. Scil," she said softly. "Not him, not me. Not you. You are all tangled in my web. And there’s no way out."

The silence that followed was deafening, but it was the truth, I realized.

I had been a fool to think I could understand her. To think I could control this.

I wasn’t just studying her. I was becoming part of her story. And as the darkness began to close in, I couldn’t help but wonder if that story would end with me, too.

Trapped. Forever.