Page 84 of Monster

“I don’t fucking care. I need it in the morning. Best get to work.” I end the call with a click and toss my phone onto my desk. It hits the wood with a bang, and I lean back in my chair again.

* * *

I peelmy eyes open to the sun shining bright through the glass and I automatically snap my eyes closed again.

“Ugh,” I groan out as my head throbs painfully. I definitely fucking drank too much. And it didn’t help quiet the voices, but at least it made me pass out. My entire body aches as I push myself out of the chair and stretch. My shoulder throbs as I extend my arms above my head forcing me to quickly drop my arm to my side. Blood is dried on my arm from the cuts, and it hurts like a motherfucker, but I try not to think about it—or even fucking look at it.

Though, now I have more of an understanding as to why Essa did it. Every fucking day when you look at yourself, it’s a constant reminder of who you truly are, staring you right in the fucking face.There isn’t any room to lie to yourself about it and the harsh reality of that truth is a little too fucking much for me to think about with my head pounding this fucking hard. I shake my head and push the chair back as I move from around my desk. I step into the hall and all I hear is the quiet stillness of the early morning. It’stooquiet.

My brows draw together at my realization, and I march towards Essa’s bedroom. I pat my pockets for the key and luckily find it still there. I pull it out and shove it in the lock. I push the door open and step inside. My eyes automatically fall on the things still strewn about her room, but I also notice the mess is nowhere near as bad as it was. It’s clear to me Essa has been cleaning it, and that brings a small smile to my face.

Aside from noticing that, I also see clear as fucking day she isn’t in her bed. My heart pounds brutally in my chest when I don’t see her in her room, and I feel myself starting to panic. My hands grow clammy and my stomach knots.

The faint sound of water running in the bathroom has me jerking my head toward the door. I heave out a sigh of relief, my tense muscles relaxing.

I change direction and stand by the bathroom door, listening intently for any noises, but all I hear is water running and the slight shuffle of movement as she moves in the shower. I take a step back and another until I reach her bedroom door and pull it shut behind me as I leave her alone.

I need to get myself straightened out before I confront her.