Page 130 of Monster Daddies

“I told you that trail cam was a good idea.”

Of all the?—

They’d—

I had no words.

“Am I a really bad person for finding it funny that a Bigfoot put a trail cam up to catch you?” As we got space from them, Alton blinked a few more times before he shook his head and came back to life. “I’m sorry. That was probably inappropriate.”

“They’reinappropriate… and it’s impossible to miss the irony in that, so don’t worry about it.” Everything they did was ridiculous. “I’m. No. I’m not going to apologize for them because I didn’t do anything wrong. I will, however, explain that they are a side effect of having a relationship with me. Like those weird lists of problems medications cause.”

They were basically verbal diarrhea, so the analogy fit.

Alton snickered as we finally got back to the clearing where we’d first met. “I… I think she liked me?”

“She was wearing my father’s shoes after spying on us with some kind of trail cam.” I was going to have to keep an eye out for that. “But yes, she was definitely excited to meet you and that was her excited face, so you made a good impression.”

He seemed to be trying not to laugh as he shook his head in disbelief. “We need to remember not to do anything questionable outside of the house.”

I wasn’t sure what was cuter… his assumption that we’d do questionable things in the woods or the way he’d worded it.

The house.

It wasn’t quietour housebut it felt like a step in that direction.

“I agree.” I wasn’t much for outdoor shenanigans anyway. I appreciated my creature comforts too much for that. “I’ll see if I can find it, though.”

Alton frowned as we walked over to his car. “I don’t know any magic for that. I have a basic skillset of spells I can use for everyday stuff because one of my grandparents was a mage but that’s the extent of my knowledge for that kind of magic.”

“We’ll figure it out.” Somehow. “Thank you for being nice and not showing how ridiculous they were.”

That got a smile out of him as he dug his keys out from his pocket. “They were funny.”

And a handful.

“They were unexpected too.” Rolling my eyes got a laugh from Alton. “They bugged the trail to keep an eye on me.”

He shrugged, trying to get his delight under control. “Maybe they were looking for deer or other wildlife?”

“There is no way they’re doing something that reasonable, even if I want it to be true.” They were just ridiculous. “Last year my mother decided to explore being wiccan. The human version with naked moon worship and things I couldn’t follow.”

Alton’s eyes got wide as we stopped at the front of his car. “Naked?”

“She was found outside like that so many times the local council had to come to her and explain that people were complaining.” The council. “They weren’t telling her that she had to cover up but she had to stay in her own yard if she was going to do it.”

Pressing his lips together, Alton took a moment to comment. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to commiserate or laugh.”

“No one else could either. That’s part of the reason it went on so long.” They were the definition of inappropriate and always had been. “They explored being poly when I was a teenager but they didn’t want to sleep with anyone else. So they foundan asexual and aromantic guy to move in for a year. He was basically a roommate that they dated on a regular basis.”

Blinking, Alton cocked his head. “Is that dating? I mean, wouldn’t it be just going out with a friend? He didn’t want to have a romantic relationship?”

“I have no idea and all three of them explained it differently, and just badly in general, so I still don’t know what they were doing or what the traditional rules are for that kind of relationship.” Ralph had been nice, though, and I still got Christmas cards from him.

“I’m starting to understand why you called them your side effect.” When he stopped, his eyes went wide. “I’m sorry. That’s rude.”

“Agreeing with me isn’t rude. You’re supposed to agree with me on everything because that’s what being a Daddy is. Always right.” My response had him trying not to giggle and his stress popped like a bubble. “I’m glad to see you understand I’m right about that too. It’ll make life easier.”

As a snicker escaped, Alton shook his head. “You’re going to get me in trouble with your parents. I can’t say anything like that. You’re a bad influence.”