Page 8 of Mending Hearts at the Cornish Country Hospital (The Cornish Country Hospital #6)

The thought of what it might mean for her own life had terrified Eden, but not as much as what she might be responsible for if she left.

Looking back now it was easy to see she’d been manipulated and that it had never been her responsibility to save Jesse, because the only one who could ever really do that was him.

Back then she’d been so deeply entrenched in his problems and the trauma of his past that she couldn’t see what was going on.

She’d had her father holding their family together and keeping a roof over their heads.

Even though her mother’s drinking had taken a huge toll on all of them, it couldn’t compare to what Jesse and Sadie had experienced.

They hadn’t had any stable parental influence and it was almost as if Eden had survivor’s guilt, because she’d always had one parent to rely on, at least to an extent.

Her mental health hadn’t spiralled in the way Jesse’s had, so she had to stay and try to save him from himself, despite how much she longed to leave.

It wouldn’t have made any sense to an outsider looking in, but he’d been so skilled at twisting her reality that she’d forgotten she had a choice.

The reasons she’d stayed with Jesse for so long were very different to those she suspected had kept Isabel with Michael, but just like her patient, Eden hadn’t been able to see a way out either.

Now she was free of Jesse, she had no intention of getting involved with anyone again.

And it wasn’t just herself she needed to protect; Teddie was her number one priority and she couldn’t imagine letting anyone into her little boy’s life.

She’d seen how some people reacted to Teddie’s stimming, and how little understanding there was of ASD.

The last time she’d picked him up from nursery, she’d had a row with a man in the car park, who’d taken exception to Teddie reaching out and brushing a hand along the side of his car.

It was part of the sensory stimulation Teddie enjoyed, and he often reached out and touched everything from hedgerows to fence panels.

The only time he willingly walked any kind of distance was when he had the opportunity to trail his hand against a surface.

The reaction of people like the man in the car park was part of the reason why she’d turned down an invitation to go out for drinks with Dean, one of the paramedics.

She’d never been the sort of person to want to date casually and she couldn’t imagine it leading anywhere, not with Teddie to consider.

There were so many aspects of his behaviour that people judged and felt they had the right to comment on.

If she got into a relationship with someone, there was a good chance that person would think they had the right to intervene, which could cause Teddie distress.

She couldn’t risk bringing anyone into her son’s life who didn’t understand him, something his own father hadn’t even done.

It might mean she was going to be on her own for a very long time, possibly even forever, but her relationship with Jesse meant she was fine with that, because she didn’t want to risk making that kind of mistake again either.

‘How was he today?’ Eden asked his key worker, when she arrived at nursery to pick him up. As she scooped Teddie into her arms, he gave her one of his famous smiles and her spirits immediately lifted, thoughts of her difficult shift with Michael and Isabel already beginning to fade.

‘He was a little bit emotional after his grandma dropped him off, but he soon settled down. He’s been doing more parallel play recently, which is a really positive development in preparation for when he starts school.

’ Shannon had a great way of drawing out the positives, but Eden hated even thinking about Teddie having to make the transition to somewhere new.

‘That’s great, thanks for today.’ She smiled at Shannon, as Teddie tightened his grip on her. It was his way of saying he was glad she was there. The strength of his embrace was another sensory reaction, but those hugs were Eden’s favourite thing in the world.

Teddie was getting really heavy and, as they crossed the car park, Eden decided to see whether today was a walking day or not.

Putting him down, she kept a tight hold of one hand and he immediately reached out with the other to trail his fingers along the door of a car that was within touching distance.

‘Come on, bubs.’ She tried to pull him away by tugging gently on his hand, not wanting a repeat of what had happened the last time.

The thought of someone shouting at Teddie made her frightened of what she might be capable of.

But he was resisting her attempts to pull him away and, when she looked up, she realised it was already too late.

There was a man watching them, his keys in his hand and his expression unreadable.

‘It’s okay, he’s not doing anything to your car.

’ Eden’s tone was sharp, but she couldn’t help going on the defensive, as she waited for him to shout that she shouldn’t be letting Teddie touch his precious car, just like the other man had done.

Except this time it was different, the expression of the man holding his keys relaxed into a smile and it transformed his whole face.

He suddenly looked warm and friendly, instead of austere and foreboding.

He had warm brown eyes that crinkled in the corners, and reddish-brown hair that looked as if he spent a lot of time running his hands through it.

‘Don’t worry about it, I just didn’t want to startle him by pressing the unlock button on my keyring, so I was just waiting until he’d finished.

’ The man had a gentle tone, with the hint of an accent that she thought might be Scottish, but she couldn’t be sure.

‘My only concern is how dirty his hands might get. I’m not exactly one of those people who washes their car every Sunday afternoon. ’

‘Thank God for that, or you’d probably be a lot more uptight about things.’ Eden returned his smile, just as Teddie decided to join in the conversation in his own inimitable way.

‘Gay! Gay! Gay!’ He shouted his favourite sound, which had no link to the word it sounded so much like.

The speech therapist had suggested that Teddie might be trying to form the word ‘okay’, but it was certainly effective in getting people’s attention, and Eden just hoped it had never inadvertently caused anyone upset.

‘Sorry, he isn’t directing that at you.’

‘It wouldn’t bother me if he was.’ The man was still smiling, but heat rushed up Eden’s neck.

‘I know, I wasn’t suggesting that there was anything wrong with being called gay, it’s just that…

’ She was tying herself up in knots, with no idea how to finish the sentence.

The man standing in front of her probably had her pegged as both homophobic and a terrible parent.

She knew for certain she wasn’t the former, and she hoped with every fibre of her being that she wasn’t the latter either, but it was a question she asked herself every single day.

‘I know you weren’t.’ He really had the kindest eyes, and some of the tension eased from Eden’s shoulders.

‘I work at the hospital too, I think I’ve seen you at the shop.

Oh God, now I’m panicking about saying the wrong thing, and wondering if I’ve just made myself sound like a stalker. I promise I’m not.’

She laughed. ‘I’m glad I’m not the only one incapable of holding a normal conversation. Shall we start again? I’m Eden, I work in A I thought you worked at the hospital.’ Suddenly she had a vision of him in a hazmat suit, standing by a white tent in an area cordoned off from the public.

‘I do, but part of the role involves carrying out postmortems for the coroner’s office, and I’m also registered to work alongside the police on suspicious deaths.

Sometimes that’s at the hospital, and sometimes it’s elsewhere, but I’m here most of the time.

Definitely often enough to meet up for coffee. ’

‘That’s great, I’ll send you a text.’ Eden didn’t want to suggest a date for meeting right then and there, which Drew might have felt beholden to agree to.

If she sent him a text later, it would be easier for him to tell her he’d changed his mind, or to make some other excuse about why they couldn’t meet, and she wanted to give him that option if that’s what he wanted to do.

She had no reason to believe that was the case, but she’d spent years living with a man who’d told so many lies that even he didn’t seem to recognise the truth any more, which made it hard to take anything on face value.

‘Okay then.’ Drew nodded, as Eden lifted her son into her arms. It was the only way to prise him off the car. ‘Bye, Teddie.’

The little boy didn’t respond, but Eden held up his hand to wave goodbye, something else she didn’t normally do.

‘See you soon.’ Eden’s words were about as casual as they came, because she knew there was a chance that Drew would change his mind and she didn’t want to build up her hopes.

She’d been let down enough times in the past to learn that keeping her expectations of people on the low side was the best way to avoid getting hurt.

As she and Teddie continued the short walk back home, she found herself considering the possibility that Drew might turn out to be a disappointment too.

He’d seemed to understand her son so well, something few people were able to do, and she just hoped she hadn’t read him wrong.