Page 42 of Mending Hearts at the Cornish Country Hospital (The Cornish Country Hospital #6)
Drew had spent a long time thinking about where his date with Eden should be.
The most important thing was that it was somewhere, or doing something, that made Teddie happy.
Drew knew that would be enough for Eden to enjoy herself, but he wanted there to be something about the date that was just for her.
He’d googled a lot of potential ideas, getting a bit side-tracked by a website that suggested tobogganing and cross-country skiing.
He’d found himself looking at a resort in Michigan, which led on to research about the average snowfall in the state and how long their ski season was.
It was something that happened a lot; the way his brain worked when something piqued his interest was that he wanted to know more about it.
Much to Drew’s surprise, he realised halfway through his research that the thing he was so interested in wasn’t skiing in Michigan at all, it was Eden and Teddie.
He was imagining the three of them there together, amongst all that pristine white snow, and wondering whether the little boy would really enjoy it.
Cross-country skiing definitely wouldn’t work for Teddie.
He had this habit of going completely jelly-legged when he’d had enough of walking.
Whenever Eden was holding one of his hands and Drew had the other, he’d immediately go slack so they’d swing him in the air.
Teddie loved being spun around too, so he’d probably love tobogganing in the snow, if nothing else.
Drew could picture Eden throwing back her head and laughing as she and Teddie whizzed down the hill, and suddenly he wanted to go on holiday to Michigan, with them, just so he could make that vision of them smiling and laughing a reality.
Drew wasn’t prone to making impulsive decisions.
Some people with autism were, and others needed everything planned and discussed in advance, with any deviation from those plans something they struggled to deal with.
Drew didn’t fit neatly into either of those categories, just like many people with autism.
Yet in that moment he could quite easily have given in to the impulse to book a trip to Michigan, despite how ridiculous he knew it sounded.
If it had been the right time of year for tobogganing, he might even have done it.
For once in his life he wanted to throw caution to the wind and do something no one would expect.
It wasn’t snowing in Michigan yet, though.
He hoped he and Eden would still be seeing each other when it was and then, who knows, maybe they really could take the trip.
For now he’d settled for something closer to home.
They’d be spending most of the day at a theme park that had lots of rides for under-fives, which he was certain would appeal to Teddie’s love of being spun around.
It was a forty-five-minute drive from Port Kara to the theme park that was situated between Newquay and Wadebridge.
Drew had bought a mobile phone mount for the headrest in his car, so that Teddie would be able to watch Paddington on the way if the journey got too much for him, and he’d planned something for the final part of the day, with Eden in mind.
Although he was keeping the details of that a secret for now.
‘How did he sleep last night?’ Drew asked, after he’d attached Teddie’s car seat to the Isofix mechanism in his car, and Eden had strapped him in.
‘Not bad. He went off at 8p.m. and was awake at five wanting to bounce on my head, which is pretty good going for Teddie.’
‘Hopefully he’ll make it through a day of adventure then.’
‘He’s going to love it.’ Eden moved closer to Drew, their bodies almost touching as they stood outside the car talking.
Love was an overused word, and the literal part of Drew’s brain sometimes made him want to challenge people who used it in throwaway remarks like I love your new shirt , or I love the hotdogs the hospital restaurant serves .
Of course he never actually did that, it would make him a pompous bore, which was just another trait he had no desire to share with his father.
People just used ‘love’ when they meant they really liked something.
The only shame was if it devalued the word when it really counted.
He didn’t know how accurate Eden’s use of the word would turn out to be when it came to describing what Teddie thought of the theme park, but he hoped it was.
That wasn’t why the word had suddenly stopped Drew in his tracks, though.
For him the word love meant deep affection, an attachment to something his life would be diminished without.
Now, as he stood just inches away from Eden, he realised that was exactly how he felt about her and Teddie.
They’d been friends for just a couple of months, but if the two of them suddenly disappeared from his life, it would undoubtedly be diminished.
Honesty was incredibly important to Drew, but he couldn’t tell Eden how he felt, because he wasn’t sure if it was ‘normal’ to have feelings as intense as this so soon and he didn’t want to freak her out.
Drew had spent his whole life masking his autism, the need to do so having been drummed into him by his father, long before his diagnosis, with physical consequences when he didn’t manage to do it.
Even now it didn’t come easily to just be who he was, and to say what he was thinking, because he knew there could still be consequences.
They might not come from the force of his father’s hand connecting with the side of his head any more, but they could hurt even more.
If the consequence of telling Eden how strongly he felt was to scare her away, that would be far more painful than any punishment his father had ever dished out.
So Drew couldn’t tell her that he loved her, and Teddie too.
He just hoped he’d be able to show her and that eventually she might realise it for herself, without him having to say anything at all.
‘Shall we hit the road then?’ Drew attempted an upbeat American accent. ‘And see what Teddie makes of Cornwall’s number one theme park?’
‘Has Cornwall got a number two theme park?’
‘It’s probably the swing set in your mum and dad’s back garden.’ Drew grinned as Eden started to laugh. He really did love that sound, and that wasn’t even the wrong use of the word.
* * *
It had been a perfect day. Eden and Drew had talked about all kinds of things, from their childhood memories to the latest goings on at work.
She’d told him how worried she’d been about Eve on the day Callum died, and how her comments had made Eden wonder just what sort of trauma her friend had been through.
It could be incredibly difficult when an incident at work triggered a personal memory, and Drew understood that.
Thankfully Eve seemed to have gone back to her old self by the time she came in for her next shift, and Eden hadn’t been sure if she should say anything.
Having Drew to confide in and get his take on what she might be able to do to support her friend if something like that happened again had felt really good.
He might never be the loudest person in the room, and he didn’t share his thoughts and opinions with just anyone, but she considered herself lucky that he did that with her, and she valued his insight more and more.
Teddie had loved the theme park every bit as much as Eden had expected him to.
She and Drew had taken him on all the rides that were suitable for his age and height.
His favourites had been the dizzy dinosaur waltzers, and the dragon family rollercoaster.
The three of them had got wet on the water rides, and Eden hadn’t been able to resist buying a photograph of them all on the log flume.
They looked like a proper family, their mouths open wide with laughter and shock as they plummeted down the track into the water.
Not for the first time she found herself wishing that the image reflected the truth, and that they really were a family.
Wanting a life like that wasn’t such a huge ask, when there were people out there praying for a lottery win, or planning their acceptance speech at the Oscars in ten years’ time.
Eden didn’t want anything big, she just wanted this, a family of her own, where fun days out were spent together, and no one prioritised getting drunk over spending time with their children, or lied and manipulated people into doing what they wanted out of a sense of guilt or fear.