Page 39 of Mending Hearts at the Cornish Country Hospital (The Cornish Country Hospital #6)
‘I can’t imagine how terrifying it was to see him like that, but I promise you that Callum is getting the best care possible and no one will give up on him.
’ Sitting down beside Rachael, Eden took her hand.
She could have added words until they’re certain there’s no hope to the end of her sentence, but she didn’t.
There’d come a point when the team might stop trying to bring Callum back, but it wouldn’t be because they’d given up on him.
Eden had been with patients when the team had been forced to ‘call it’, making the decision that continuing to try to save the patient’s life was futile.
It was always a painful and difficult decision, but it would be even more so with a young person like Callum.
All she could do was pray that in resus a miracle was happening, and that someone would walk along the corridor soon and say the words that Rachael wanted with every fibre of her being to hear.
‘Thank you.’ Callum’s mother gripped her hand and for a moment the only sound was the clock ticking above their heads.
‘Should I stay?’ The health care assistant looked up at Eden.
The young woman’s leg was jigging constantly and it was clear she was finding the situation difficult.
Sickness, and a more general shortfall in staffing, meant the team had been forced to rely on agency staff far too often lately.
It made a difficult job even more challenging, when those staff were unfamiliar with how the team worked and often quite inexperienced too.
The young woman opposite Eden barely appeared to be out of her teens, and she looked as if she’d love to make a bolt for it.
Giving her permission to leave was an easy decision to make, because Eden was certain she could be of more use elsewhere.
‘You can go. I’ll stay with Rachael.’ Having a nurse with her experience sitting with a relative might be deemed a waste of resources, and it would mean patients who needed less urgent treatment experiencing a longer wait time, but right now Eden didn’t care as much about that as she did about Rachael.
Callum’s mother was in the hospital all by herself, going through the worst possible scenario any parent could ever imagine, and Eden could feel her torment almost as if it was her own.
The thought of something ever happening to Teddie had been her greatest fear from the moment he was born.
Nothing that his diagnosis could throw at them would ever come close to the sheer terror she’d experienced in those few minutes he’d been missing.
The way the nightmares had made her feel in the days since then were just a fraction of what Rachael was going through right now, and Callum’s mother couldn’t wake up from the horror and realise it was all okay.
When the health care assistant left the room, Rachael began to sob again and for a few moments Eden just held her, but then Callum’s mother began to speak.
‘He’s always been sporty, and he was kicking a ball almost from the moment he could walk.
’ As she pulled away to look at Eden, her eyes were still full of tears.
‘He discovered rugby when he was about seven and that was it, we knew he’d found his thing.
He’s the captain of the school team and he’s got a place to go to uni in Bath, to play there.
My husband’s convinced we’ll see him start for England one day. ’
‘He sounds incredibly talented, you must be really proud of him.’ Eden wished she could picture Callum, full of life on the pitch, but the way he’d looked when he’d been brought in made that almost impossible.
‘We are. Cal works so hard and he’s such a loving boy.
He still gives me hugs like he did when he was little, but he’s almost eight inches taller than me now, and they’re great big bear hugs.
I’d give anything to have another one of them.
’ A sob escaped from Rachael’s throat, and Eden wished she could tell her that she’d be able to hug her son again, but she had a horrible, heartbreaking feeling that Callum’s mum would never get to do that again and her throat was burning with the effort of stopping herself from crying too.
All she could do was try to show Rachael that she understood how precious those moments had been.
‘Hugs between mums and sons are incredibly special, aren’t they? My little boy’s only four, but his hugs are the best thing in the world to me.’
‘I knew you’d understand, I don’t know how but I could just tell.
’ Rachael gave her the briefest of smiles through her tears.
Before Eden could even reply, the door to the relatives’ room burst open, making her heart lurch in response.
She’d expected to look up and see one of the team standing there, a grave expression on their face, but it was a man she didn’t recognise.
‘Oh James, thank God you’re here.’ Rachael stood up and flung herself against the man, who held her up as she sobbed against his chest.
‘It’s alright, darling. He’s going to be okay.’ Despite his words, worry was etched on his face as he looked towards Eden. ‘Is there any more news?’
‘The team are with him now and, as soon as they can, someone will come and talk to you about what’s going on.
’ Eden felt almost robotic as she parroted the words she knew would bring Callum’s father no comfort at all.
Not knowing what was going on with their son must feel like hell, but there was a very real possibility that a new kind of hell was coming, one that would never end if they lost their son.
‘I’ll give you a moment together.’ She said the words quietly, but they must have shocked Rachael, because she let go of her husband and whirled around to look at Eden.
‘Please don’t go. I don’t want them to come and speak to us when you’re not here.
If there are long-term repercussions because of how long Callum wasn’t breathing, we need someone here who understands what he means to us.
I need a friendly face.’ The situation Rachael was outlining was almost certainly the best-case scenario, but Eden understood what she was asking.
She wanted someone in the room who saw Callum as more than just a patient.
‘I’ll get you both some water, just to give you a few moments alone, and then I’ll be right back, I promise.
’ Eden put a hand on the other woman’s arm, and Rachael nodded.
The truth was, she needed a few moments to gather her own emotions.
Heading down the corridor, she filled two paper cups from the water dispenser and turned back towards the relatives’ room, just in time to see Eve heading towards her.
The expression on her friend’s face said more than words ever could.
All the colour seemed to have drained out of her, and her mouth was trembling.
‘He didn’t make it.’ Eve whispered the words as they reached one another, and they hit Eden like a punch to the gut; the drinks she was holding almost slipping out of her hands, the way they had on the day Teddie had disappeared.
‘Are you okay?’ It was a stupid question, because it was obvious Eve was far from being okay.
‘I couldn’t hold it together. It was too much like… I almost lost someone I love in the same way; he made it through, or at least a version of him did. But it brought it all back.’
‘Oh, Eve.’ Eden wanted to do something to comfort her, but Rachael and James were waiting for her, and any minute now someone would arrive to give them the awful news.
‘I’m okay. Zahir told me to go home and that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll be worse than useless here.’ Eve managed to give her a watery smile. ‘He’s going to come and speak to Callum’s parents.’
‘I promised to be with them.’ The words seemed to wedge themselves in Eden’s throat.
A huge part of her wanted to follow Eve out of the door and not have to face the couple who were about to be told the most devastating thing imaginable.
But this was all she could do for them and Callum now, and as hard as it was she knew she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t keep that promise.
She just hoped her face wouldn’t give her away the moment she walked back into the relatives’ room.
Zahir needed to be the one to tell them the news, to explain to them what had happened and all the things the team had done to try and save their son’s life.
If Eden broke the news that he was gone, they wouldn’t hear anything else, and they’d be left with questions that might make the torture they were about to face even worse.
They needed to hear from someone who’d been there with Callum at the end.
‘Take care of yourself, Eve, and ring me later if you want to talk.’
‘I will and you too. They’ll appreciate what you’re doing for them, even if they don’t realise it straight away.
’ Eve touched her hand briefly and then moved off down the corridor, leaving Eden to take the final few steps to the relatives’ room.
She couldn’t make eye contact with Rachael as she set the cups of water down, the words she couldn’t say bubbling up inside her.
I’m so sorry . It was almost impossible to swallow them down and she was certain she’d have lost the battle if Zahir hadn’t pushed open the door behind her within a matter of seconds and said the very words she’d been fighting to hold back, words no one ever wanted to hear.
‘Mr and Mrs Buckingham, I’m Zahir, one of the doctors. I’m so sorry to tell you that despite all our attempts Callum couldn’t be resuscitated and he died a few moments ago.’
The sound Rachael made was unearthly, Eden couldn’t compare it to anything she’d ever heard, not even a wounded animal.
Words couldn’t describe it, but she could feel it, deep down inside her, in a place she might have called her soul because there was no other word to explain what it was.
It was a sound she’d never forget and one she hoped she’d never have to hear again for as long as she lived.